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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23935801">Hopes and Heroes (SNK)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceFireWolfDragon/pseuds/IceFireWolfDragon'>IceFireWolfDragon</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LxNaomi/pseuds/LxNaomi'>LxNaomi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:14:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>48,318</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23935801</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceFireWolfDragon/pseuds/IceFireWolfDragon, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LxNaomi/pseuds/LxNaomi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This work was originally an RP between us (LxNaomi and IceFireWolfDragon), but we liked it so much, we decided to share it!  That being said, there are a few things to note:</p>
<p>-The story is largely told through the eyes of our main character and IceFireWolfDragon's OC, Kuro Oscuro.<br/>
-All other characters are roleplayed by LxNaomi.<br/>
-WE KNOW the timeline isn't paralleled with canon... we dragged some things out and had time go by when, in canon, things happened rather quickly and consecutively.  Just consider this an AU and roll with it.<br/>
-This is a LEVIHAN fic.  Please leave all negativity concerning this ship at the door, please and thank you.</p>
<p>We had SO MUCH FUN writing this, and we hope you have just as much fun reading it!<br/>
♥ LxN &amp; IFWD</p>
<p>
  <b> </b>
</p>
<p>OC art by IceFireWolfDragon<br/>
Rest of cover designed by LxNaomi</p><hr/>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hange Zoë &amp; Levi, Hange Zoë/Levi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. First Day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>104th Cadet Corps<br/>
Year 1</b>
</p>
<p>"Damn."  Eren muttered the single word as he looked out the window of the dining hall at Potato Girl who had been ordered to run without dinner.  He felt a nudge on his back then, and he turned to look behind him at Mikasa.</p>
<p>The Japanese girl with the long, black hair held her dinner tray in both hands.   Her eyes shifted from Eren's to a little beyond him, and she nodded once to indicate that he should move ahead.</p>
<p>Eren looked back in front of him and saw that he was holding up the line, and he quickly stepped forward to close the gap between himself and Armin.  Dinner consisted of lentil soup and bread and a steamed potato.</p>
<p>Armin turned with his tray to look around the large room.  He spotted a table with enough seats for the three of them, and he moved over to it.  He set his tray down on the wooden tabletop and climbed over the bench to sit down.</p>
<p>Kuro had got his tray, and his vibrant blue eyes scanned the dining hall for somewhere to sit. There already seemed to be groups forming. Not much good for a loner like him who had joined up on his own. He had remembered one voice he’d heard at roll call that morning. It might be worth trying to find him. It had been two years since they’d last seen each other. Hopefully, he would still be remembered.</p>
<p>It didn’t take long before he found who he was looking for, along with two other familiar faces. Time may have passed, but he still knew exactly who they were. He walked up to the table and gave the blond boy a small smile. “Master Arlert, I never expected to see you here. It’s been a while.” He turned to the other two. “Master Jaeger. Miss Ackerman. Good to see you both as well. Glad to know I’m not the only one from Shiganshina here.”</p>
<p>Eren looked up, one arm flopped over the edge of the table and his other hand holding his spoon.  "You're from Shiganshina?"</p>
<p>"Hey, I remember you," Armin said, his eyes brightening.  "The shoe shop, right?  I used to go with my grandfather."</p>
<p>“That’s right. I’m the cobbler’s son. Oscuro. Kuro Oscuro.” He was glad that at least Master Arlert had seemed to remember him. “I was wondering if I could sit with you. Everywhere else is getting full.”</p>
<p>"No need to ask," Armin said.  "We're comrades now.  And on that note, please call me Armin."</p>
<p>“Thank you Master Arl- Armin. Thank you, Armin.” He swung his long legs over the bench as he sat down. First names. That was going to be a change. He knew them of course… he just hadn’t really used them much before. But he wasn’t working in a shop anymore. He was going to be a soldier. </p>
<p>"So where were you..."  Eren's question was asked dryly, his glowering gaze lowered as he listlessly stirred his soup.  "...on that day."</p>
<p>Kuro sighed and looked down. His black hair fell over his face as he stared at the table.</p>
<p>That day. It felt like it had lasted forever, but at the same time, everything had moved so fast. A normal day that had turned to chaos and calamity. Monstrous shadows. Screaming voices. Rubble and dust. It was all still there in his mind’s eye.</p>
<p>“I was out running errands with my little brother, Ryu,” he said slowly. “Delivering shoes my father had finished as well as garments my mother had either made or repaired.” He looked up again. “What about the three of you?”</p>
<p>"We were together actually," Armin answered.  "We were just sitting around talking when it happened."</p>
<p>“I see.” He looked at them with a sombre expression. “I’m going to assume that there wasn’t a happy ending to it all considering you all joined up.”</p>
<p>Eren's head stayed down as he looked up at him with his flashing green eyes.  "Don't think you could find one person who was there that day who could boast a happy ending," he said hotly.</p>
<p>“That’s true. It’s not even like our problems were solved inside Wall Rose either.” Kuro kept his response cool and reasoned. There was no point getting angry. “If I may ask, who did you lose?”</p>
<p>Eren looked back down.  He scooped up a spoonful of soup and shoved it into his mouth.  "My mom," he muttered.</p>
<p>"Well, no one in my family that day," Armin said quietly.  "But my grandfather died two years ago in the battle to take back the Wall."</p>
<p>Mikasa stayed quiet and just ate her dinner, glancing at Eren every now and then.</p>
<p>“You have my sympathy.” Kuro ate a little more before speaking. “I lost both my mother and father in Shiganshina. I lost Ryu a year after due to illness.” He carried on eating until he realised something. “What of Dr. Jaeger? Has he been taking care of the three of you?”</p>
<p>Eren's shoulders lifted a little.  "He... disappeared that day," he said in a low tone.  "I dunno where he is.  Or if he's alive."  He tore off a piece of bread with his teeth.</p>
<p>“Oh.” That day in Shiganshina had been utter chaos. No wonder some people ended up lost and not finding each other. Kuro took some of the bread and dipped it into his soup. The food here was better than he’d had since Wall Maria had fallen. If only this food had been available when his brother was alive. Maybe he would have been strong enough to fight off the illness.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry to hear about your family as well," Armin said kindly.  He looked thoughtfully down into his bowl of soup.  "It's tough to find anyone these days who hasn't lost someone."</p>
<p>Kuro nodded and then gave a small chuckle. “To be honest, I feel lightly jealous of you three. At least you all had each other. Though really… there is nothing to be jealous of.” He shook his head and sat up a little straighter. “Well. The past is the past. We should be looking forward.” Kuro looked at them as he dunked more bread into his soup. “Which regiment are you aiming for?”</p>
<p>"Scouts."  Eren answered simply, but without hesitation.  It was actually rare for someone so young to be so determined, so driven.</p>
<p>Kuro smiled a little at that. The Scouts had always brought division. Some loved them. Others despised them. Kuro had been one who had always looked up to them. The Military Police barely existed in Shiganshina. The Garrison were always drunk or playing cards. But the Scouts… they looked like soldiers. No matter how few came back, the rest always set out again.</p>
<p>He'd watched them. Ever since he was little, he watched the Scouts come and go. Despite the shouts from the crowd, he would stand there in awe of their fluttering green cloaks. His mother had picked him up so he could get a better look. She too had been a supporter of theirs. She was the one who had taught him to respect them and their bravery. They fought for freedom; she’d told him that. They had been painted as legends and heroes. Even now, Kuro still held that view in some way.</p>
<p>“Same here. We might end up being comrades for a little longer if we all make it through training.” He was calmer in how he said it. He didn’t have the same drive as Eren. Kuro wasn’t there to be a hero or a legend. His goal was something else.</p>
<p>"Well... to being comrades then."  Armin briefly held up his tin cup as if in a toast.</p>
<p>He copied Armin’s actions. “Comrades.” He drank a small amount before setting his cup back down. Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad here… as long as he made it through. He didn’t care about being in the top ten. Let the MP wannabes take those spots. He would be quite happy being the best of the rest.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Training</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>104th Cadet Corps<br/>
Year 2</strong>
</p><p>The hot sun gleamed down onto the training field where the 104th Cadet Corps were doing hand to hand combat training exercises.  Armin's breathing was noticeably heightened as he dragged his fingers back through his dampened yellow-blond hair to keep it from sticking to his skin.  This wasn't his best area... well, anything on the physical training front, really.  But damn it, he gave it his all.</p><p>Kuro faced Armin, the Cadets having been placed in teams of two. The exercise would have been fine had Eren and Jean not been paired up, as they started arguing the second they were told to start. Kuro shook his head at Armin and gestured to the others.</p><p>Armin shrugged and put his hands up to go another round.  He was more than used to Eren picking fights over the things he was passionate about.  At least here, he had an outlet for it.</p><p>Kuro mirrored Armin despite their comrades not actually paying attention. Back in Shiganshina, Kuro was never one to pick fights. He just did what he needed to do and ignored most people. That had changed inside Wall Rose. He fought to get extra food for his brother. After Ryu died, though, that all changed. He struggled to get food, money… anything, and by any means possible.</p><p>He flashed Armin a smile. “Come on. Fight me like you hate me.”</p><p>Armin let out a puff of air as he lowered his brow and braced his feet.  Then he ran forward, acting at first like he was going for the left shoulder, but then quickly changing to the right leg.  Even if he wasn't the strongest among his peers, he made up for it in his strategic skills.</p><p>Kuro had to react quickly. He knew that Armin wouldn’t attack his shoulder, but he still wasn’t too sure where he was going to aim. He didn’t have time to block, so he instead dodged out of the way and tried to get back at him by kicking up dust.</p><p>Armin turned his head away quickly against the onslaught of flying dirt as he grasped blindly and managed to wrap his arms around Kuro's leg.  It brought him down, but awkwardly.  "Ugh."  Armin shook his head and coughed, on his hands and knees.  "I'm just not fast enough..."</p><p>“I’ve just had a little more experience with playing dirty. That’s all. It’s all well and good training us to fight properly but if you come up against someone who’s had no formal training… then it’s a level playing field.”</p><p>Armin pressed his hands into the dirt as he stood up.  "Unfortunately, I was always on the receiving end of the dirty fighting," he remarked, brushing his palms together.</p><p>Standing up, Kuro brushed the dust off himself. “Just think about what they did to you and try to do it to me. That might work.”</p><p>"I understand the strategy of it all," Armin tried to explain.  "I guess it just doesn't come naturally is all."  He smiled a little.  "Guess that's why we're out here doing this, huh?"</p><p>“Yeah… training til it becomes second nature. You only learn that through repetition.” Kuro stepped back and stood ready again. “You’ll get it one day. Anyway, we won’t be going hand-to-hand with a titan.”</p><p>"I suppose it's logical that we learn all types of fighting," Armin mused aloud.  "In any event, it makes us stronger as soldiers."</p><p>“Or give us the ability to beat the hell out of everyone we don’t get along with,” Kuro said as he gave a disapproving look to Jean and Eren, who had completely forgotten the exercise and were just arguing now.</p><p>Armin looked over at his friend.  "Don't judge him too quickly," he said slowly.  "Eren might have a hot temper... but he's someone I'll always want to have at my back."</p><p>“I’m not just talking about Eren. It takes two to fight.” Kuro crossed his arms. “We’re meant to be learning how to fight alongside someone else.” Sighing, he turned back to Armin. “We might as well keep practicing then. And if everything goes as planned, then those two will go to different regiments, and we won’t have to deal with their fighting day in day out.”</p><p>Armin nodded and just put his hands up, ready to continue the training.</p><p>Kuro focused. Armin was good at strategy, so not planning too much and relying on instinct would work better. With that, he dropped onto his hands and swung a leg round at Armin’s.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p><strong>104th Cadet Corps<br/>
</strong> <strong>Year 3</strong></p><p>Kuro stood on a tree branch, waiting for his turn to run the ODM course. Unlike some, he didn’t feel like he had to give it everything. He didn’t want to be in the position of taking up a place in the top ten that would stop someone from going to join the MP. All Kuro had to do was pass.</p><p>Three years had gone by since Kuro had joined the Cadets and now, graduation was right around the corner. There were final exams in everything they could possibly have an exam for. Everyone had different approaches to them; there were some who were giving it everything they had. They were mainly those who wanted to make the top ten and become MPs. There were some exceptions but that was the general trend. As he stood there waiting his turn, Kuro watched each person run the course, taking note of what they did. He did a lot of his learning by watching others.</p><p>Eren was as enthusiastic as ever. He was determined, which now and then left him with a one-track mind. He could be quite distant at times but was generally alright as long as Jean wasn’t around. He wasn’t the best, but he was driven, which made up for a lot.</p><p>Mikasa was fast and by the far the best. She was quick and efficient. She did what she had to do. He’d never spoken much to Mikasa; she was always a bit of a silent type, but he respected her nonetheless. She was already a strong and capable soldier.</p><p>Armin had a brilliant mind. He was a genius. What he lacked in combat ability was certainly made up for in theory, strategy and planning. Through their time in the Cadets, he had been the one that Kuro was closest to. He was easy to speak to, which Kuro found refreshing.</p><p>Jean was clearly trying his hardest. Everyone knew that he wanted to make the top ten. He wanted to be an MP. Jean was easily good enough for that. Even if he did have a bit of a short temper, he was still incredibly skilled.</p><p>Kuro looked on and made mental notes still. Annie; he knew nothing about her except she was scarily good. Reiner; a strong soldier who was actually quite friendly to everyone. Bertholdt; very capable and worked closely with Reiner. Sasha; surprisingly good for how carefree she acted. Connie; another surprise who was quick and agile. Christa; sweet girl who was nice to everybody and was bordering the on tenth place. Ymir; also bordering on tenth but it was hard to work out anything about her.</p><p>He sighed. There were so many good cadets. Even those who would just miss out on the top ten would probably be able to make it into the MP’s ranks if they wanted to.</p><p>With a zip and a light thud, a pair of boots landed beside Kuro.  Holding his blades in his hands, Eren lifted one wrist to swipe at his sweaty forehead, the damp strands of hair shoving aside before falling limply back into place.</p><p>Kuro turned to look at Eren. “Nice work, Eren. You did a good job out there.”</p><p>Eren looked over.  "Thanks," he said with a nod.  He looked toward the practice dummies again and flexed his fingers a few times against the ODM grips.  "Though I'm sure itching to try it out on a real titan," he added.</p><p>“It’ll be a bit different on a titan though.” Kuro looked out at the dummies. “I always thought they looked a bit tame. After what we saw… these can’t prepare you for the real thing.”</p><p>"Sometimes I forget that most of the others have never even seen a titan..." Eren said quietly as he watched Mikasa go through the course.</p><p>"Me too. The dummies always look too... human..." Kuro mused. "The titans have strange proportions."</p><p>Eren was quiet as he looked on.  He'd certainly filled out in the three years since they'd joined the Cadets.  They all had.  Though their years still made them children, their training had turned them into soldiers, and childhood and all of its innocence were a thing of the past.</p><p>Kuro had grown quite a bit since he'd joined. He wasn't nearly as tall as Reiner or Bertholdt, but he was still a good inch taller than Jean.</p><p>"Still set on the Scouts?" Eren asked after a moment.</p><p>“Yep. I don’t think there’s any other I could join.” Kuro looked back at Eren. “I just know it’s the right thing for me to do.”</p><p>"Yeah..." Eren said lowly.  "Me too.  All I wanna do is kill titans... as many as I can.  Every last one of them if I can help it."</p><p>And Eren was at it again. They <em>all</em> knew this little speech by now. Kuro sighed and folded his arms. “It’s not long now. We’ll be wearing those Wings of Freedom in no time.”</p><p>"Ever since I was a kid..." Eren said slowly, that passion that beat in his chest so detectable in his voice, "I've wanted to be a Scout.  To fight alongside people like Captain Levi... people who actually give a damn about our freedom."</p><p>If there was ever a person that could described as a living legend, it was Captain Levi. If you looked up to the Scouts, you looked up to Captain Levi. Kuro remembered hearing his name mentioned a few times when he went to see the Scouts, not that he'd ever managed to spot the Captain.</p><p>“I wonder what he’s like…” Kuro said. “I wonder what it really takes to be the best that humanity has to offer. I have heard so many rumours about him that I have no idea what’s true and what isn’t.”</p><p>"There has to be some truth to it," Eren remarked.  "I know stories tend to get blown outta proportion, but... he's renowned for a reason, right?"</p><p>“That’s true. You don’t get the sort of rumours spread about you like he does if you’re average.” Kuro sighed. “I mean, imagine just watching him fight. I heard he could take down multiple titans with a single manoeuvre.”</p><p>"Yeah.  I heard that too," Eren said, glancing over.  He couldn't help but wonder how different that day in Shiganshina could have been had Captain Levi and the Scouts been there.</p><p>“Maybe we’ll find out one day. I can’t see Captain Levi really bothering with new recruits. It’s not like we’re anywhere near his standards.” Kuro shook his head and looked down. “You’ve got to be something special to reach Captain Levi’s level.”</p><p>"Oscuro!!" Instructor Shadis bellowed from below.  It was Kuro's turn to demonstrate his abilities on the course.</p><p>“My turn. Talk later, Eren.” With that, Kuro stepped off the branch and swung over to the start. He had nothing to prove. No lofty goal to reach. All he had to do was pass.</p><p>Pass.</p><p>Graduate.</p><p>Join the Scouts.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Trost</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Would you come on??" Eren called impatiently over his shoulder as he hurried down the alleyway toward the main road where a crowd was already gathering.  The main unit of the Survey Corps were leaving on an expedition today, and Eren felt like a little kid again in his excitement.</p><p>"It's not like you won't be able to see, like when you were small," Mikasa pointed out.  "You're taller now."</p><p>"I know, just-"  Eren beckoned.  "-come on!"</p><p>Armin cast Mikasa a small smile.  They both knew how much Eren had always loved watching the Scouts ride past, their green cloaks bearing the immortal Wings of Freedom only feeding the fire inside him.</p><p>They weren’t the only ones out there. A number of cadets had come along to see the Scouts, each with their own reason for doing so.</p><p>Kuro had come along as well. He wasn’t going to miss this opportunity, as it would be his last time watching them ride out before he joined their ranks. Even if he didn’t seem as enthusiastic as Eren, he was certainly excited… on the inside at least.</p><p>Their boots came to a stop just as Commander Erwin Smith rode past, the horses' hooves clopping steadily against the cobblestone. His frontward gaze was stoic, full of strength and resolve- a solider if there ever was one.</p><p>Eren's green eyes widened, his whole countenance alight. The Scouts! They were the best of the best! Just watching them ride past stirred awe and respect. They were a symbol, as were the Wings that they wore. They were humanity's chance at freedom... they were hope.</p><p>Kuro watched in awe. These were the heroes he’d looked up to ever since he was little and now, it wasn’t long before he would trade in his two swords for a pair of wings. However, it still felt like there was a huge gap between him and the Scouts. He would join them, but was he ready?</p><p>"Look! It's Captain Levi!" a voice in the crowd cried out. "They say he's like an entire brigade unto himself!"</p><p>Captain Levi!? Kuro looked over the crowd to find the Captain. He was a living legend! Humanity’s strongest! No one was better than him!</p><p>They only caught a glimpse, but it was enough to send a thrill coursing through them. For a brief moment, as the white and blue wings fluttered past on their green, flag-like cloaks, it felt like anything was possible.</p><p>"Feel how excited everybody is?" Eren asked, his own enthusiasm barely keeping him from outright cheering. "It's like the crowd just has a different energy now!"</p><p>Eren was right. It did feel different. Kuro looked up at the Scouts as they passed by and felt something in the air around them. It was almost tangible. What would it feel like to parade through the streets and ride through the gate?</p><p>"Cadets!" Shadis' voice rang out, causing Sasha to visibly stiffen. "On the Wall, all of you! I want those cannons cleaned and prepped!"</p><p>"Yes, Sir!" a chorus of young voices answered.</p><p>As they reached the top of Wall Rose, the Wings of Freedom could be seen in the distance as the Scouts rode off in formations.</p><p>Kuro smiled a little as he worked on cleaning off the outside of a cannon. It wasn’t much longer now. Every one of them knew that. It would soon be time for each cadet to pick their regiment, and those who joined the Scouts would ride out into the territory of Wall Maria.</p><p>"I never thought I'd say this..." Connie mused as he watched the Scouts disappear from sight. "...but I think I'm gonna join the Survery Corps."</p><p>"What?!" Eren was visibly shocked. "The hell you mean you're joining the Scouts?? What happened to the MP? That was your whole thing!"</p><p>"Don't worry about it," Connie said defensively as he was knelt cleaning the wooden base of a cannon. "A guy's allowed to change his mind, okay?"</p><p>Kuro looked over. Another Scout? That would be interesting. He knew that most Cadets would join the Garrison and more often than not, the majority of the top ten joined the Military Police. This often left the Scouts with very few new recruits.</p><p>"Hey, he's not the only one," a Cadet named Thomas spoke up. He smiled a little.</p><p>It was then that Sasha came forward, having stolen a side of meat from the officer's pantry. The Cadets nearly lost their minds, partly because she could get thrown behind bars for such a stupid thing, and partly because meat was so scarce ever since the fall of Wall Maria.</p><p>As the rest fussed over the food, Kuro looked out from his place on the wall. Somewhere, out there was Wall Maria… Shiganshina… his home… and… beyond that… who knew? He’d heard stories of the world outside the walls. One from a Scout visiting the family shop to get his boots repaired. He’d told a story about his recent expedition to Kuro and Ryu while he had waited. Kuro had never forgotten it and he hoped one day that he could see it all for himself. See a world without the shadow of the walls…</p><p>With the Scouts, he at least had a chance.</p><p>...</p><p>
  <em>BOOM!</em>
</p><p>Lightning careened from the heavens, and a crack of thunder split the air, and just like that... the Colossal titan loomed over them. It was instantaneous- one second there was nothing, and the next, he was there, just like five years ago.</p><p>Kuro stared. No. Not again. NO! Why now? Why after all this time!? He didn’t know what to do!!</p><p>The others seemed frozen as well. And then...</p><p>
  <em>SMASH!!</em>
</p><p>The Colossal titan slammed his foot into the gate, breaching Wall Rose. In a burst of hot steam, the titan's monstrous arm took out the cannons, those on the Wall springing into action and using their ODM gear to narrowly escape the onslaught.</p><p>Dust rose from the splinters and rubble of the gaping hole.</p><p>"THEY'RE GONNA GET IN!" Connie screamed, and Eren's wide eyes quivered in terror as he remembered that day...</p><p>Kuro’s eyes fixed on the hole. They needed to do something… but what…? He looked around at the others to see if anyone had any ideas on what to do now, but they were all in the same position.</p><p>Suddenly, Eren snapped out of his trance. His voice rang out as he grit his teeth and shot back up the Wall. Siezing his blades, he took a running leap with a battle cry eminating from the very depths of his soul.</p><p>The others looked on from their places on the side of the Wall, but all they could see were massive bursts of steam coming from the titan.</p><p>Kuro looked up before a taking a deep breath and following Eren up. They couldn’t just leave him on his own against the Colossal titan. No one fought alone. That little fact had been drilled into them.</p><p>Just as Kuro reached the top of the Wall, he saw Eren swing high up into the air, wielding his blades with a gritted expression. He came down hard, crying out as he did, the titan's nape in his sights. Bringing his blades down with everything he had, Eren prepared for the impact, only for his arms to swing wildly into thin air.</p><p>What the...?</p><p>...he was gone. Just as suddenly as he'd appeared, the Colossal titan was nowhere to be seen.</p><p>How… how can something that big just… vanish? Kuro looked at Eren with confusion. They all knew that the Colossal titan vanished five years ago but this… this was something else. It was so sudden… like some kind of magic trick.</p><p>"How the hell did I miss?!" Eren landed beside Kuro, his expression a mixture of shock and confusion and anger.</p><p>“Where the hell did it go!?” Kuro shook his head. “You had it, Eren, and it vanished. It knew what you were doing.”</p><p>"It's intelligent..." Eren snarled, gripping his blades. "It's exactly like five years ago..." His eyes moved to the hole in the Wall.</p><p>It was like they were kids in Shiganshina all over again...</p><p>...no.</p><p>No, this time they were soldiers.</p><p>This time, they could fight.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Sasageyo</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The night sky was shrouded in a a heavy, grey blanket, starless and bleak. Sparks and ashes rose from the fire in the town square, the flames snapping and licking at the wood and the remnants of soldiers who had given their lives for the glory of humanity. The city of Trost lay in ruin, blood-stained and abandoned, each of its citizens safe thanks to those in the Cadets and the Garrison alike who had paid the ultimate price.</p><p>The events that had transpired over the past few days were nothing short of extraordinary. It was discovered that Eren Jaeger had the ability to transform into a titan, and it was this very ability that led to humanity's victory over the titans in Trost... but it had come at a great price.</p><p>The expressions of those standing around the fire were ones of shock and grief.  Despite their victory, they had suffered heavy losses and lost many whom they had called comrades and friends.</p><p>Kuro stood before the fire, looking up as the flames reached to the sky. Thomas. Nac. Mylius. Mina. Marco… just to name a few. They were Cadets… not soldiers. Not yet. The weight of the losses and the sights of the aftermath weighed heavy on his heart. This was the price of victory. The price of survival.</p><p>He raised a hand to the bandage that was wrapped around his head, covering his left eye. Even he had paid a price for his life. His eye had been the cost for the luck that got him through. Not skill. Not strategy. Luck.</p><p>It had happened so quickly. Kuro had been standing on a rooftop with the squad he’d been assigned to. It had been quiet in that area for a few precious seconds before a shadow fell over the group.</p><p>Kuro started to glance over his shoulder and saw the titan looming over them. “LOOK OUT!!” he yelled as they all jumped in different directions to avoid the giant hand that crashed through the roof. Debris showered them, shredding clothing and skin alike. A piece of tile was hurled towards him, and was quickly followed by searing pain along the left-hand side of his face as well as the sting of cuts and ache of bruises all over the rest of him. He heard the screaming first before looking towards the source of the sound. One of their team was flailing in the titan’s grip. Kuro could barely recall what happened next. There were further screams and the rattling of ODM gear being hastily fired. Kuro took his turn and blindly swung his blades at the titans neck only to find it falling right after.</p><p>It wasn’t long after that he found out the true extent of the damage he’d taken. His left eye, though still there, was dead and useless. A gash ran from forehead to cheek that would never fully heal, and he was blind in that eye.</p><p>The rest of that battle had been a struggle. He was forever crashing into buildings and had too many close calls. It was through sheer luck that he was still standing. Wounded. Blinded. But standing nonetheless.</p>
<hr/><p>In the days that followed, Eren Jaeger was unceremoniously inducted into the Scouts following a trial to determine his fate.  He was put under the direct supervision of Captain Levi and promptly taken to a secure location where his abilities could be further studied and tested.</p><p>Only two titans remained still standing after the Battle for Trost, and they were taken captive for study as well.  However, they were mysteriously killed long before their usefulness was expended.  A full investigation was launched, but yielded nothing.</p><p>At long last, one week following the battle, the trainees of the 104th Cadet Corps graduated and were given the opportunity to choose their Regiment, only the Top Ten having the Military Police as an option.</p><p>Due to his injury, Kuro had to go through a review to see if he was still fit to fight. It was hell for him. Joining the Scouts was what he had been working towards for so long and being so close to losing that was terrifying. Luckily, he passed, by the skin of his teeth. That injury meant that he would have a lot of work to get back to where he had been prior to it but Kuro wasn’t going to give up that easily. He’d put in all the work that was needed to get back to that point.</p><p>As the Cadets all stood prepared to make their final decision, Commander Erwin Smith stepped forward and made a plea for the Scouts.  There were those who wouldn't join... those who would choose the MP or the Garrison, and that was their prerogative to do so.  However, the Survey Corps needed them, he said.  Despite the dismal odds of survival, they desperately needed troops.</p><p>"Whoever still wishes to put their life on the line and join us, remain here."  Commander Erwin spoke with a clear, strong voice.  "But first, ask yourself... Can you give your heart?  Can you give <em>everything</em> for humanity?"</p><p>It was like a cold wind swept through the crowd of Cadets.  Many eyes widened, and there were a few intakes of breath.</p><p>Kuro stood there, still as a statue. Give everything? That would be easy. It wasn’t like he had much left to begin with. Unlike some of the others, he had no family to worry about him or await his return. His life now, was in such a way that he would much rather die the second he left those gates than to live his whole life inside the walls.</p><p>He would gladly give everything.</p><p>"...that is all," the Commander said, after giving them all a moment to consider their final decisions.  "Those wanting to join other Regiments are dismissed."</p><p>One by one, Cadets turned and walked away.... some right away, others after reconsideration.  The crowd grew smaller and smaller.</p><p>Kuro stood there, hands clasped behind his back. Some of the others nearly bumped into him as they left, like they were expecting him to turn around as well. But he wouldn’t do that. He’d made his choice even before he’d joined up. Injury or not, he was joining the Scouts.</p><p>As the dust of footsteps settled amid the quiet flicker of torch flames, twenty-two remained.  Twenty-two... out of a few hundred.</p><p>Commander Erwin looked out over the recruits.  "You who stayed," his deep voice addressed them.  "You are now one of us.  Allow me to welcome you to the Scout Regiment!  This is a genuine salute, soldiers!"  He brought his fist firmly and proudly against his chest.  "Together, we give our hearts!"</p><p>Kuro stood tall as he saluted. This was it. None of them standing here could turn back now. They had seen the harsh reality of war in Trost yet had all decided to stay. What this meant for them… they didn’t know, but with their salute, they each promised to give their hearts, their everything to the cause.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Welcome to the Survey Corps</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Eren!"  It was Mikasa who saw him first.</p><p>At the sound of his name, Eren looked over from where he was feeding his horse.  His emerald eyes widened at the sight of the new recruits, and he set the bucket aside, resisting the urge to just let it fall to the ground in his eagerness.</p><p>Mikasa jumped down barely before the wagon had stopped moving, Armin close behind her.</p><p>"You're here!"  Eren looked at the rest of them as his steps slowed to a stop.  "You're all here."  He genuinely sounded like he'd missed them all.  He had.  More than he'd thought possible.</p><p>Kuro stepped off the wagon. He’d made it. A bit damaged, but he’d made it. It would take a while to get used to only having vision in one eye. He’d finally been able to take the bandage off which revealed his frosty blue left eye. It had lost all it’s vibrancy and now looked cold, expressionless and dead.</p><p>“Eren. It’s good to see you.” He held a hand out to him.</p><p>Taking the handshake, Eren nodded.  "Glad you made it out alive," he said sincerely.  He, of course, would be dead were it not for his newfound titan powers.</p><p>“Just.” Kuro smiled. “Still a little jealous that you got out of clean-up duty and managed to get to the Scouts before us.”</p><p>"Heh."  Eren looked down as he withdrew his hand to his side.  "Yeah... I never exactly saw myself making it into the Scouts this way.  But here we are, I guess."</p><p>“Four kids from Shiganshina made it into the Scouts. No matter how we did it, it’s not a bad achievement.” Kuro ran a hand through his messy black hair that was slightly longer than Eren’s and reached the base of his neck. </p><p>"Yeah.  Not bad..." Eren's voice trailed off a bit.</p><p>"And on Levi Squad, no less!" Connie spoke up, nodding toward Eren.</p><p>Eren tensed a bit.  He didn't like being singled out.  But hell... he was a <em>titan.</em>  There seemed to be no way out of it from here on out.  "Yeah..." was all he said.</p><p>“Damn, Eren. Save some glory for the rest of us.” Kuro placed a hand on his hip. Granted, due to Trost, some of the new recruits already had titan kills to their name but still… Levi Squad. That was every Scout’s goal.</p><p>"Hey, I'm just as confused as the rest of you," Eren said quietly.  "I'd be rotting inside a titan right now if it weren't for this.......... ability."</p><p>Kuro looked a little uneasy and scratched the back of his neck. “You wouldn’t have stayed inside for long… we… we all saw that during the cleanup… it’s not pleasant.”</p><p>Eren didn't respond much, and Jean visibly cringed.  "Ok," Jean said stiffly.  "Change of subject."</p><p>"I agree," Sasha said shakily.  She shut her eyes tightly.</p><p>"Well, I guess we should get a move on anyway," Eren said, looking to the side.  "The Captain doesn't take too well to just standing around."</p><p>“Right." Kuro shouldered his bag with his small collection of belongings. "Anyone know who we are meant to report to? It was a bit of a hurry to get us here.”</p><p>A Scout showed up then and distributed their new uniforms displaying the Wings of Freedom.  Afterwards, they were shown to their barracks... which, incidentally, were spotlessly clean.</p><p>As soon as the uniform was in his hands, Kuro knew this was real. He held the cloak tightly and hung his head. “I’m keeping my promise, Ryu..." he mumbled to himself. "I’m one step closer.”</p><p>He was glad to finally get to the barracks and to be able to put his bag down somewhere. He was also impressed at how clean it was. Much better than the cadet huts. They would probably expect it to be kept to those standards. </p><p>"Where is your bed, Eren?" Armin asked.</p><p>"Over there," Eren answered, indicating with a gesture.</p><p>Armin moved to set his things on the cot to the left of Eren's as the girls move to the other side of a room divider.</p><p>Kuro looked over. “I’ll take the other side then.” It wasn’t like he had much choice.</p><p>Eren shrugged.  "It's clean anyway.  Oh, and you'd all better keep this place that way.  The Captain doesn't tolerate uncleanliness."</p><p>"That's right."  A deep voice came from behind Eren, and he nearly jumped.  He stepped aside, and Captain Levi stood in the doorway in full uniform, minus the green cloak, a starched white cravat at his throat.</p><p>Kuro turned round and quickly stood to attention and saluted. So, this was the famous Captain Levi up close. He was… shorter than he thought he'd be, though he would never voice that. Looks weren’t everything. Although, he did seem to be intense. He wasn’t sure what to do other than stand and salute. </p><p>A few other soldiers saluted too, while others simply straightened.  No one was quite sure how to react to being in the presence of Humanity's Strongest. </p><p>Levi's steely blue eyes scanned the newest members of the Scouting Legion, his parted, jet-black hair falling over them a little.</p><p>"I'm Captain Levi," he said clearly and with authority, though it was spoken with a calm reservation as well.  "During your stay here, you'll be reporting to me.  If I'm not to be found, then to a member of my team.  You'll meet them shortly."  He began walking forward, his eyes on something ahead.  "As Jaeger said... you'll keep this place clean, or you'll be shoveling horse shit faster than you can take one of your own."  As he passed, his scent lingered a bit, that of soap and mint leaves and slightly of leather and steel.  He reached the window on the wall opposite the doorway and stopped.  He pulled a cloth from his pocket and rubbed at a smudge on the glass.  Then he turned around to face the soldiers again.  "Do I make myself clear?"</p><p>“Yes sir!” called out Kuro along with the other soldiers, maintaining his salute. The Captain really was intense… but what else was to be expected? He was the best of the best. Kuro also realised that he was meticulous. He was going to have to work extra hard to meet the Captain’s standards. Kuro was determined to make sure that at least his area was spotless… not that he was untidy to begin with but… even more so than usual. The same would probably go for uniform and gear as well.</p><p>The Captain passed by again.  "I'll see you all downstairs," he said plainly.</p><p>And then he was gone.</p><p>A silence hung in the air but was soon broken by a loud exhale from Sasha.  "He's even more intimidating up close!" she remarked rather dramatically.</p><p>"Yeah..." Connie agreed.  "And he's personally responsible for you, Eren?  Damn."</p><p>Eren looked away.  Why did this power have to fall to him?  He was nobody special...</p><p>Kuro let out a sigh and relaxed once the Captain had left. “Is it just me… or does anyone else feel like he’s been put in charge of us purely for the reason that he’s intimidating? I think I’m more scared of him than I am the titans.”</p><p>"Yeah, seriously!" Sasha squeaked.</p><p>Mikasa turned to begin unpacking her things, her stance having been stiffly respectful but her expression plain and cold.</p><p>Kuro also began to unpack, making sure that everything was folded neatly if needed and put away so that everything was tidy. He’d work hard to keep it that way. </p><p>Once his few possessions were stored away, he picked up his comb and quickly ran it through his hair before sorting out his uniform. He had to look presentable.</p><p>"Erennnn!!"  A sing-songy voice rang through the air like a burst of sunshine... warm and definitely bright.</p><p>"Nhh!  Uh-- over here, Section Commander!"</p><p>A woman of about 30 appeared in the doorway, her brown hair swept up into a messy ponytail.  She wore a pair of square-rimmed googles, and she wore her uniform with a collared yellow shirt.  "There you are!  I wanted to go over a few things with you concerning the upcoming expedition!  This evening after dinner perhaps?"  She tipped her head, the knuckles of both fists resting on her hips.</p><p>"Oh.  Of course, Section Commander."  Eren nodded.</p><p>As Eren said ‘Section Commander’, Kuro turned around and saluted again. It was only right since he’s done the same with the Captain… although, he got the feeling that maybe he wouldn’t have been in too much trouble if he hadn’t. Anyway, it was always good to get in to the habit of saluting senior officers. Made life easier if anyone appeared who would get mad if he forgot.</p><p>"Splendid!"  Hange looked around the big room then.  "Oh, look at me!  I'm being so rude!"  She lifted on hand in a sweeping wave.  "I'm Section Commander Hange!" she introduced.  "And I'd like to personally welcome all of you to the Scouts!"  Her voice had such enthusiasm, such LIFE to it.  Her smile was almost mischievous, simultaneously childish and reckless, and her brown eyes sparked like flint against steel.</p><p>Section Commander Hange was very different from the Captain… completely the opposite in fact. Again, it wasn’t what Kuro had been expecting but… nothing was anymore. The Scouts seemed to be a very mixed group of individuals. but they were the ones who kept fighting the titans and coming back alive, so they must be doing something right.</p><p>Hange smacked Eren's upper arm.  "Don't be rude!  Introduce your comrades to me!"</p><p>"Oh!  R-right.  Ah... this is Mikasa Ackerman."</p><p>Mikasa straightened and saluted gracefully with a nod.  "Section Commander."</p><p>"Ah, yes," Hange nodded with a grin.  "I've heard your name.  Top of your class.  Well done."</p><p>Mikasa gave a curt nod.  "Thank you, ma'am."</p><p>Eren continued with the introductions, and Hange just seemed to be loving it.  He reached Kuro and gave his name to Hange.</p><p>On second thought, he was glad he had saluted. Maybe she wasn’t all joy and sunshine after all… well… you couldn’t be if you ended up as Section Commander of the Scouts. </p><p>When they reached him, Kuro stood up straight still maintaining his salute. “Section Commander.” It was at this point that he wished he’d had the time to use his hair to cover up his left eye. The scar and its frosty look might not have made the best first impression.</p><p>Hange nodded in greeting.  "Kuro," she repeated.  She gestured to his eye, then put her hand on her hip and tipped her head.  "A souvenir from Trost, I imagine?"</p><p>“Yes, Section Commander. A titan destroyed a roof in front of me and I was caught by the debris.” Short and simple. Just like how it happened. He was still getting used to being blind on one side, but he knew that he could still carry on like before… just as he had in Trost.</p><p>"Hm."  Hange nodded.  "Well, never be ashamed of your scars, soldier.  Each one tells a part of your story."  She smiled at him, just a simple rounding of her mouth with a flash in her vivacious brown eyes.  Then she moved on.</p><p>Kuro couldn’t help but to feel respect for her. It was something that he needed to hear. He’d been feeling a little hopeless after the incident.</p><p>Just as Hange was finishing up meeting everyone, a brassy bell sounded.</p><p>"That'd be the dinner bell!" Hange announced.  "Follow me, and I'll show you to the dining room!"  She beckoned, and the young soldiers followed her to a room with oil lamp wall sconces and a long, wood table already set with dishes and a meal consisting of salad and bread and vegetable stew.</p><p>Levi sat at the head of the table, and he was speaking with five other people.  His slender eyes looked up as Hange entered with the newest Scouts.</p><p>"There you are, Shitty Glasses" he snipped.  "When I couldn't find you earlier, I assumed you'd willingly crawled up a titan's ass."</p><p>"If it'd futher our cause, then sign me up!" Hange retorted brightly as she moved to take a seat at the table beside a tall man with blond hair and a thin mustache.</p><p>"Tch."  The Captain curled his upper lip. "You're disgusting."</p><p>Kuro was taken aback by how they spoke to each other. It really wasn’t what he’d had in his mind. Then again, they couldn’t be professional the whole time. They had to relax as well.</p><p>Once everyone was seated, the Captain spoke up.  "This is Levi Squad.  Eld.  Gunther.  Oluo.  Petra."  Each one nodded as their name was mentioned, and Petra even smiled and waved.  "And this is Mike," Levi went on.  "...and you've already met Hange, I see.  Like I said... if I'm not around, you are to report to any one of them."  He reached for the bread basket.  "Now eat up.  We start training at sun up."</p><p>Kuro made sure to remember their names and faces before turning to the food in front of him. He was going to make sure that he worked extra hard during training. He had some things that he would either have to relearn or adapt to fit his now limited vision.</p><p>Levi talked easily, yet quietly with his squad.  They all seemed like a close-knit team.</p><p>Hange turned to the new Scouts.  "I'm afraid all of this has been very unconventional, given the circumstances, so your welcome into the Survey Corps has been rather rushed.  Nonetheless, you're all one of us now.  If you have any questions at all, please ask away!"</p><p>Of course, it had been rushed. It wasn't often that the newest members arrived already battle-scarred with titan kills and assists under their belts. Kuro himself had a kill and an assist to his name. Not as many as the likes of Mikasa, Eren, and some of the others, but still better than nothing. One of the kills had been the titan that had led to his blind eye... though that was pure luck.</p><p>Hange then turned her attention to Eren and began peppering him with questions.</p><p>The Captain looked over after a bit.  One arm was draped over the table's edge, and the other hand held his fork, which had some lettuce and a cherry tomato on the end of it.  "Shit, Four Eyes," he remarked.  "Let them eat.  Eren's hardly touched his food with your incessant questioning."  He stuck the fork in his mouth, then let it hang with his wrist flopped down at chin level.</p><p>"Er-- right!  Sorry, Eren."  Hange gave him a sheepish smile.</p><p>Kuro felt a little sorry for the Section Commander. The Captain seemed to always be annoyed with her. But then again, that might just be what he was like. He might speak to them all like that when they got training tomorrow. He probably would. However, this was the life he’d chosen. He’d just have to live with it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Dreams and Nightmares</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>{<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PykZwA00WdE">Listen while reading}</a> </em>
</p><p>Dinner concluded, and the Scouts were sent to finish unpacking and prepare for curfew.</p><p>As Kuro was preparing for bed, a soft, dusky orange glow from the setting sun hung in the air.  Outside the window, and down two stories, there was some training equipment fashioned out of wooden beams, and some movement below caught Kuro's eye.</p><p>Captain Levi walked out onto the grass.  He was alone, and he wasn't wearing his uniform.  Instead, he had on a pair of black pants and a plain, grey cotton shirt with long sleeves.  The neckline was loose and wide, revealing his prominently strong deltoids and sharply defined collarbone.  The Captain had a small white towel tossed over his shoulder, and he removed it to drape it over a metal bar.  Looking toward the fiery sunset, he began rolling his sleeves up past his elbows.  His forearms were toned and athletic with visible veins running down from the bend in his elbow.</p><p>A sparrow landed on one of the wooden posts, and Levi turned his head to look at it.  The little bird hopped one way and then the other, its head tilting to either side as it chirped and twittered, and then it was gone almost as soon as it had arrived.</p><p>The Captain watched it fly away, a dull ache pulsing in his chest.  Quietly, he looked down as he pulled on a pair of black fingerless gloves.  Then he sighed as he dropped his arms to his sides, letting them swing freely a little as he eyed the bar that sat several inches above his head.  Tilting his neck on both sides, he then bent both elbows back as he crouched slightly before jumping straight up and grabbing the bar with both hands to begin a set of pull-ups.</p><p>Kuro sat and watched the Captain for a bit. He wished he could have done some training, but the barracks were too full for any late-night press-ups let alone anything else. Back at the Cadet Training Ground, Kuro would often exercise before bed… or more like work himself to exhaustion, pass out and still wake up before everyone else. It was the only way he found to avoid having dreams and nightmares.</p><p>As he watched, he kept a mental note of how the Captain trained. His father had always told him that sometimes it was better to learn by watching others. Since the Captain was the best, surely he could learn a thing or two by watching.</p><p>Levi continued to work out as the sun slipped behind the treeline.  A symphony of crickets harmonized with the wind in the leaves and the rustle of grass, and the soft, rhythmic clunk of a metal bar on wood.  Levi's legs were bent over the bar now with his ankles crossed, and he hung upside-down with his hands behind his head.  Over and over, he curled upward to meet his knees, working his powerfully strong core.  His effort was audible in his soft, grunted breaths and visible in the sweat that caused strands of ink-black hair to start to stick to his forehead and around his ears, but his expression was perfectly plain as he stared up at the night sky studded with stars.</p><p>With how hard the Captain worked, Kuro was beginning to understand how much time and effort he would have to put in to even begin to be close to the standard of Levi Squad. Any down time he had would have to be spent training. Not that it was ever a problem.</p><p>He also had a feeling that he should put more effort into things he was forgetting, like how he learnt to fight during his two years on the streets. It wasn’t like during training but here… maybe it would be a little more accepted. Even if it was just a way to train his body.</p><p>About a half hour passed, and at last, Levi's boots dropped to the ground.  He reached up for the towel that hung over the metal bar.  His chest moved subtly up and down as he breathed through parted lips, and his shirt stuck to the damp skin on the middle of his back.  He lifted the towel to rub at his forehead, his hair falling limply over the coarse fabric.  Then he flipped the towel over his shoulder and proceeded to pull off his gloves, looking up at the sky once more as he did.</p><p>Kuro noticed that the Captain seemed to look at the sky a lot. Maybe it was a habit from fighting titans. There was no point looking down while they towered above you. He obviously worked hard to be where he was. He, himself, would have a long way to go. But he could do it. For Ryu.</p><p>Levi used the end of the towel to rub at the back of his neck as he looked down again.  He then turned and headed toward the castle, disappearing from Kuro's line of sight.</p><p>The Captain had a lot on his mind tonight.  Seeing the new recruits had brought back a lot of memories...</p><p>The heavy castle door opened, and it could faintly be heard from the barracks as it shut again with a creak and a solid thud.</p><p>Retreating from the window, Kuro moved to lie down on his bed. He felt restless however. Looking up at the ceiling didn’t help at all. He didn’t know what to do with himself… just lie there until morning probably. Even after three years of training, he still struggled to fall asleep without wearing himself out first.</p><p>"Can't sleep either, huh..." came a soft voice beside him.  It was Eren.  He was lying on his back with his hands behind his head.</p><p>He sighed. “No,” he said quietly. “But it looks like I’m not the only one.” He didn’t realise anyone else was still awake.</p><p>"Yeah..." Eren said lowly.  "I haven't really been sleeping well lately.  Not that I ever do... but it's been a lot worse since Trost."</p><p>“I know what you mean. It was almost like Shiganshina all over again… at least… those are the memories brought back for me… I don’t think I’ll ever forget what I saw back then.” He looked over at Eren. “Everything seems too normal.”</p><p>"Yeah... I don't even remember a lot of what happened."  Eren was quiet for a moment before adding, "...I remember getting eaten."</p><p>Kuro pulled a face. “Sounds disgusting. I remember it quite well. Took my first titan down. It was the bastard that had ruined my eye. Assisted with another one later… think you got the cadet record though.”</p><p>Eren squirmed a little.  "I still haven't taken down a titan using ODM gear," he said tightly.</p><p>“A kill is a kill in my mind.” Kuro smiled a little. “Anyway… you’ve lived through another titan attack. There aren’t many of us that can say that.”</p><p>"That's true..." Eren acknowledged.  "Kinda feels like we got the short end of the stick sometimes, doesn't it..."</p><p>“Yeah…” Kuro looked up again. “Sometimes I didn’t think we could get a shorter stick... Wall Rose didn’t help that much.”</p><p>Eren was quiet.  The key he wore around his neck rolled around in his fingertips as his other hand remained behind his head.</p><p>Why did this power have to fall on him?  He was nobody special.  And what did his father have to do with it?  Nothing made sense...</p><p>“Hey, Eren,” Kuro called over quietly. “Look, I hate to be the optimist but we’ll figure this out. We’ve had one victory against the titans. We can do it again.”</p><p>"Yeah,"  Eren agreed quietly.  "I don't know where this power came from, but hell, I'm gonna use it."</p><p>“There we go. That’s the Eren I know.” Kuro smiled. “We’ll get stronger as well to help you.”</p><p>Eren's eyes shifted downward to the key he held.  He said nothing more, but his thoughts kept him awake long into the night.</p><p>And Kuro wasn’t in a much better position. If he tried to go asleep normally, he would have just woken up with nightmares. Better to stay awake until he passed out...</p><p>No nightmares that way.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. A Day in the Life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As promised by the Captain, the Scouts were roused before sunup.  It was raining-- a dreary, sloppy, muddy rain.  Donning their uniforms and their new green cloaks with weighted packs on their shoulders, they were sent on a five mile run to start the day.</p><p>Kuro actually enjoyed the runs they went on. He felt free. It was easy to distract himself when running. Kuro kept up with the recruit group easily.</p><p>Once the run was over, chores were to be completed before they could have breakfast.  Kuro was sent to the stables to feed and water the horses. The stable wasn't empty.  A soft brushing sound could be heard from one of the stalls. He walked in and went to find some shovels. He wasn’t sure who would already be here, but there were plenty of other soldiers he hadn’t met so it could be easily one of them.</p><p>As Kuro passed by the stall in question, he saw that it was the Captain who shared the space with him.  Levi's steely eyes glanced over briefly, but he just continued stroking the dark mare with the brush he had strapped to one hand.</p><p>Kuro saluted the Captain before carrying on with his work. He had no reason to disturb him, so he would just carry on with his tasks silently while making sure that everything was done correctly. He grabbed a shovel and began scooping the feed into buckets.</p><p>Captain Levi gave a nod in response to the salute.  He respected his soldiers, and he never carried an air of self-righteousness.  His attention turned back to his horse, and the strong mare bobbed her head and snorted contentedly.  Her muscular neck turned, and she nudged Levi's hip.  He rewarded her by scratching her snout and then brushing his fingers through the hair that fell between her ears and eyes.  Horses always made him think about Isabel... any animal did, really.</p><p>Carrying the buckets, Kuro began to distribute the food and water, working his way systematically. While a horse was eating, he’d work quickly to change the hay net. This carried on as he made his way round the stables. He wasn’t sure if the Captain had already sorted his horse out but when he got to that point, he brought the buckets up anyway. Placing them on the floor, he stood to attention. “Captain, has food and water been already sorted for your horse? If not, then I have it prepared sir.”</p><p>"No, not yet.," Levi replied, looking down at his upturned palm as the mare checked it for a treat.  She was a beautiful beast, her coloring dark and rich as coffee beans.  Her eyes blinked as she turned her head to look at Kuro, his hyperbolic reflection glinting in her nearly black orbs beneath long, delicate lashes.  She snorted again and shook her head a little, and Levi gave her a couple strong pats on her neck before sliding his hand down to her shoulder and then letting it fall to his side.  The way he looked at her had a genuine fondness to it.</p><p>Kuro worked quickly and quietly so as to not disturb the Captain anymore than necessary. He made sure the horse was eating as he filled her water and changed the hay nets over. Once he was sure everything was in order, he saluted the Captain again before carrying on with the rest of the horses.</p><p>The Scouts had a large collection of impressive horses, so the job of making sure they were fed and watered wasn’t a small one. It was still one of the more pleasant jobs though. Before joining up, Kuro had never had much interaction with horses other than seeing them lined up in the streets of Shiganshina as the Scouts prepared to head out.</p><p>Levi left his horse's stall partway through, and he nodded again as he passed by Kuro.  He noticed how meticulously and neatly he did his job, and he appreciated that.  "Good work, soldier," he remarked as he passed.</p><p>“Thank you, Captain.” Kuro gave him a final salute as he left. Was he saluting too much? Oh well… it was better to salute too much than face the Captain’s wrath.</p><p>Once he had finished, he collected the buckets together and washed them out so there was nothing left over in them. He put everything away neatly and doubled checked that all the stable were shut properly before going to report that he’d finished.</p><p>The Scouts were given a quick breakfast of porridge, this time without the presence of the officers.  The training for the day then began.  Eren went with the Captain and Hange and Levi Squad to run experiments on his titan powers.  The others ran customary drills.  The morning and early afternoon passed quickly, but suddenly, a powerful bolt of lightening cracked down from the sky.</p><p>"Eren!"  Mikasa gasped immediately.</p><p>Kuro looked up. That was either good or bad depending on what outcome they had been trying to achieve. But it wasn’t like Eren was on his own like last time. Hopefully it was good but… if it was bad… at least there was Levi Squad to sort it out. </p><p>There was A LOT of shouting coming from the clearing in the trees...</p><p>And then suddenly, a screeching figure flashed past. "PLEASE let it be what I think it is, Oh PLEASE, Oh PLEASE, OH PLEASSSEEEEEEE!!!!!!"</p><p>"Section Commander!" A Scout named Moblit dashed after Hange, running hard to keep up with her.</p><p>As soon as Section Commander Hange had appeared, Kuro relaxed. She wasn’t acting like there was a problem so something must have gone right. Although, he did feel sorry for her assistant. He looked stressed.</p><p>"Please, oh please, oh please... AH!!! AH HA!!!!! YYYYEEEEEAAAAHHHH!!!!" Hange's exuberant squeal pierced through the air like a firework.</p><p>Moments later, Hange and Moblit emerged from the trees, dragging a barely conscious Eren between them.  His arms were slung over their shoulders, and each of them held one of his wrists with their other hands on his back.</p><p>"Eren!"  Mikasa ran over immediately.</p><p>"He's alright," Hange assured, a wild spark in her eyes.  "We may have learned something today... I just need to get back to my office.  Why don't you and another Scout take him to the basement to rest?"</p><p>Kuro jogged over to them. “Section Commander, I can help Mikasa take Eren.” Despite the Section Commander’s expression, Eren didn’t seem to be in a good shape. Whatever had happened had taken its toll on him.</p><p>"Right then."  Hange and Moblit transferred Eren to Mikasa and Kuro.  "And see that the door locks... Captain's orders."  Hange nodded before turning to practically sprint toward the castle, Moblit darting off close behind her.</p><p>Mikasa's slender eyes were on Eren, her brow furrowed with concern.  Both his hands were covered in bloody bite marks, and softly hissing steam rose from them.</p><p>“He’ll be alright Mikasa. Let’s just get him to bed. This whole titan thing must really tire him out.” Kuro made sure that Eren was supported between the two of them before beginning to walk. “You know what he’s like. Not even getting eaten can stop him.”</p><p>Mikasa didn't reply.  She only gave a nod, glancing to Eren often as she walked.  It terrified her sometimes, how much she cared for him... she'd already experienced losing him once, and it had made her feel an emptiness she never knew existed.  She tightened her hold on his wrist, even brushing her thumb back and forth a little.</p><p><em>"Oh Eren,"</em> she thought.  <em>"What is this doing to you..."</em></p><p>Kuro felt like he should have given them some alone time but he couldn’t really since he was helping hold up Eren. He knew that they were close. Those two and Armin were as thick as thieves. “Just you wait, he’ll be shouting about killing every titan again soon. He doesn’t stay down for long… even if he needs to.”</p><p>Mikasa glanced at him.  She gave another nod, not being one to talk much.  And she knew all that was true.  But seeing him like this... it hurt her.</p><p>They carried him down to the basement and sat him down on the bed.  Mikasa turned and adjusted the pillow as his head flopped onto it, turning away from her.  Some hair stuck to his sweat-dampened forehead, and she reached out to brush it away as Kuro hoisted Eren's legs onto the cot.</p><p>Once Eren was on the bed, Kuro pulled the blanket over him. “Come on Mikasa… we should probably head off. We don’t want to get told off for slacking on training.” He looked around. “Also, how do we lock the door? Is there a key or do we just pull it?”</p><p>Mikasa put her hand over Eren's.  The bite marks were almost healed already.  "Right..." she said, reluctant to leave him.  She stood up, and her fingers moved to the red scarf she wore around her neck as she looked down at Eren.  This knot in her stomach........ it was said that love hurt sometimes.  Is that what this was?</p><p>It didn't matter.  Not now anyway.</p><p>She turned to leave.  "It'll lock," she said curtly.</p><p>“Okay.” He allowed Mikasa to leave first.</p><p>When outside, he allowed the door to lock and quickly looked over the cell again. “I wonder… is the cell there to protect us… or to protect him?” he mused.</p><p>Mikasa's brow lowered, and she ran her fingertips along the scarf again.  Her new scar on her face was fairly prominent.  "Both, I suppose," she said quietly as they climbed the stairs.</p><p>Kuro followed quietly behind her. For some reason, he wondered if any of this scared Eren. Becoming the thing he hated the most… not understanding it… not remembering it… not controlling it… Kuro knew that it would terrify him. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself. Eren was definitely one of the strongest people he knew.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Why We Fight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Later that evening, Kuro was walking through the halls having just finished his evening chores, and a bright voice called out suddenly.</p><p>"Moblit!  There you are, get in here!"</p><p>He knew that could only be the Section Commander. “It’s not Moblit, Section Commander. Would you like me to find him for you?”</p><p>"Oh."  Hange looked up from her microscope.  "No, that's alright.  Thank you."  She looked back down into the little scope.</p><p>The room's walls were white and the floors were dark oak.  There was a dark red oval rug in the center of the room, and a large desk was positioned with a tall window behind it.</p><p>There were papers EVERYWHERE.  Science equipment, books, handheld mathematical devices... it was clearly the space of a scientist.</p><p>"Actually," Hange looked up again.  "Maybe you can help me."</p><p>The room was a mess. How she was allowed to get away with it with a clean freak like the Captain around, he would never know. “I don’t really know much when it comes to science… but I could help if you want me to, Section Commander.”</p><p>"That's fine.  See that parchment there?"  She pointed without looking up from her microscope.  "Write down information as I give it."</p><p>“Yes, Ma’am.” He picked up a quill next to the parchment and leant over it. At least that was one thing he could do.</p><p>It was fairly quiet, save for the soft flickering of oil flames on wicks and Hange's occasional muttering to herself.  Things like, "Huh... interesting!" or a softly maniacal chuckle.  Every now and then she'd wag her finger toward Kuro and give him something to write down.</p><p>He wrote down what she asked of him in his neatest hand writing. It wasn’t too bad. Slightly reminded him of when he helped his mother and father out, writing down measurements for them.</p><p>"So... Kuro, is it?  You're from Shiganshina."  Hange didn't look up as she adjusted the knob on the side of the microscope</p><p>“That’s right, Section Commander.” She must have read their files. It probably stood out. It always did. That little fact.</p><p>"Mmmmmm....!!"  A smile curled her lips and she looked over to him, placing her palms on the table on either side of the microscope.  <em>"Describe</em> it to me!  That day, I mean."</p><p>“Oh… well…” Kuro hadn’t actually spoken about it to anyone in detail… but he might as well do it now. “It started out like any other day. Me and my little brother were running errands for our parents. We were in the main street when everyone just stopped and stared at the wall. It was silent like the calm before a storm. Then this hand appeared above the wall and it grabbed hold of it. Then there was a gust of wind and the gate was gone. It was just chaos after. I dropped the stuff I had been carrying and picked Ryu up, making sure his face has hidden in my shoulder and ran as fast as I could home.”</p><p>He took a deep shaky breath… and then carried on.</p><p>“When I got there… our house and shop had been destroyed… I saw my mother crying over my father… well… the top half of him anyway… there was a huge titan coming closer. Mother was screaming at me to run. To get away. To keep Ryu safe. So… I did. I followed the crowds and managed to get me and my brother on to a boat. I thought everything was fine. That we’d be safe… until I saw another titan bursting through the gate of Wall Maria. Then the rest of the day… I spent making sure that my brother would be fine. To be honest… all of that happened probably in a short amount of time. The fine details are a little fuzzy… being a kid when it all happened… but that’s generally what happened. At least my view point. Eren, Armin and Mikasa will have a different version of events.”</p><p>"Hm..."  Hange sounded thoughtful.  "...can I share something with you, Kuro?"</p><p>“Of course Section Commander.” He would be more than grateful if she just started talking for a bit.</p><p>Hange still stood with one palm on the table as she turned to face Kuro, resting the knuckles of her other hand against her hip.  "I was always wary that what happened that day wasn't an accident... and now I'm sure of it.  It stands to reason that the Colossal and Armored Titans are shifters- just like Eren!"  She tipped her head, a sweetness in her normally crazed brown eyes.  "Which means... we can beat them.  Things aren't always as hopeless as they seem.  I've lost people too... we all have.  But doing what we do?  It's for them.  Victims and soldiers alike.  And when humanity finally wins this wretched war?  You'll be a part of that victory... and so will they."</p><p>He looked at the Section Commander before looking down. His father. His mother. His brother. That’s what this was about. He was fighting for them. “Thank you Section Commander. I think I needed to hear that, but… there is another reason I’m here. I promised Ryu that I would see outside the walls for both of us. Which means I need to help you reclaim Wall Maria.”</p><p>Hange nodded.  "Something to fight for... that's good!  Hold onto that, soldier."  She lowered her brow and smiled, the wildness reappearing in her eyes.  "Let it drive you... and give em hell!"</p><p>He looked up at her. “I will, Section Commander. I’ve already taken out the titan that ruined my eye and assisted with another. I hope I can add a few more to that tally.”</p><p>"That's the spirit!"  Hange gave his upper arm a playful punch... a very uncustomary action for an officer to an inferior, but... well, Zoe Hange wasn't just any officer.</p><p>Kuro chuckled. “If you don’t mind me asking, Section Commander, were you in the Scouts before Wall Maria fell?”</p><p>"I was, yes."  Hange nodded.</p><p>“When I was about 6, a Scout came into my father’s cobbler shop. He was from Shiganshina. He told me and my brother that outside the walls, there are rolling hills and trees bigger than titans. Is that true?” Kuro eyes sparked with life, like a little kid again.</p><p>Hange smiled.  "Yes, it's true.  And there's a lot more out there too, according to Pre-Titan Age volumes."</p><p>“Wow.” He gave a small sad smile. “Glad the last thing my brother heard was true then.”</p><p>"Oh, it's true alright!"  Hange started to sound a little excited again.  "And we're going to make these ugly bastards pay for depriving humanity of the world outside the Walls.  But one way to do that is through research... I should get back to work.  You can go now... I appreciate the help!"</p><p>“No problem, Section Commander.” He saluted before heading out of the door and began heading to the barracks. Kuro had enjoyed working with the Section Commander. She was nice and was surprisingly good at providing motivation.</p><p>When he returned to the barracks, the only one back from chores was Jean.  He was sitting on the floor with his back against his cot, his knees up and his arms flopped between them.  His far away expression was one of pain and intense sadness, like he was crying only he wasn't really.  He didn't even seem to notice Kuro enter the room.</p><p>Kuro knew that position all too well. He carefully walked up to the ex-Wannabe MP and crouched down in front of him. “Jean? What’s wrong?”</p><p>Jean's head came up, an expression of quiet surprise passing over his face.  "Kuro... I didn't even hear you come in."  He looked away and rested his elbow on his knee, bringing his hand to his forehead with his fingers lacing up through his soft, brown hair.  "I just..  keep thinking about what happened to Marco," he said quietly.</p><p>Kuro moved to sit next to him, one leg pulled up and the other out straight. An arm rested casually on his bent knee. “It’s always the good ones that go first,” he mused. He looked over at Jean. “War is war, and sometimes all it feels like is that it just takes.”</p><p>"Yeah, well..."  Jean's brow was lowered, and his fingers tightened a bit in his hair.  "...I'm more than ready to start taking it back.  What happened in Trost was just the beginning."  He grit his teeth.  "It's why I joined the Scouts, damn it.  Because I can't allow them to get away with this!"</p><p>“You make a much better Scout than you would an MP.” Kuro looked up at the ceiling. “I was talking to the Section Commander just now. She said that when we are victorious over the titans, both those who are alive to see it and those who we lost will be part of that victory.” He turned to face Jean. “Beat them for Marco. Let every titan feel both of your strength when you kill them. Make it hurt.”</p><p>Jean felt tears stinging his eyes, but like hell he was going to let them fall.  He nodded tightly and swallowed.</p><p>"Before he died... he told me I was a good leader."  Jean shut his eyes.  "I've never seen myself as a leader... or someone anyone would ever look up to.  All I ever wanted was to be an MP.  That was the dream... set myself up for a good, safe life inside the Walls.  I was so determined until Marco had to go and say all that shit... go and make me realize that maybe living just for my own damn self wasn't the right thing to do."</p><p>“You know… I also had a person who changed my mind. Before him, I had planned on going to work in the fields but he caused a change of plan.” He sighed. “There are certain things that can change us as people. Trost was a big one. For some, it scared them. Made them want to hide. For others, we just wanted to fight. To get revenge. Trost split the 104<sup>th</sup>.” He rested his back against the cot. “We may fight to kill… but we are also protecting those who stayed behind the walls.”</p><p>Jean was quiet for a moment before asking, "So who changed your mind?"</p><p>“My little brother, Ryu.” Kuro gave a soft smile. “He was the sweetest little kid you’d have ever met. Heart of gold and more. We both made it to Wall Rose, though living conditions were poor, so he got an illness from which he never recovered. Before he died, I told him a story about outside Wall Maria. I promised him that I would see outside Wall Maria for both of us, and you can’t do that working in a field, so I signed up with my sights firmly set on the Scouts.”</p><p>Jean was quiet as he listened.  Finally, he sighed and dropped his hand from atop his head to flop over one knee.  "All I've ever done has been for myself, really.  It feels pretty different thinking of someone else for a change... but a good different."  His eyes stared at a spot on the floor, his troubled brow lowered above them.  "Marco and everyone else who gave their lives in Trost made me see myself differently.  Guess I'm still getting used to it..."</p><p>Kuro looked at Jean. “That is the ultimate sacrifice. Giving everything you have so that others might live. They are the reason we are all still alive. We owe it to them to protect each other and win this war.”</p><p>Jean sighed and squirmed a little.  "Well, thanks for the pep talk."  His voice was tight... but he meant it.</p><p>“No problem. We’re all in this together. I wasn’t gonna let you sit here all by yourself.” He placed a gentle hand on Jean’s shoulder. “Come find me if you need someone to talk to.”</p><p>Jean's body language was a bit stiff.  He wasn't exactly the most touchy-feely person, and any exchange of emotional feelings made him painfully awkward, even if it was a good thing... but he nodded.  "Thanks," was all he said.</p><p>“You’re welcome.” Kuro moved his hand and stood up. Stretching his arms above his head, he moved over to his own bed. “Let’s hope we don’t get interrupted during training again tomorrow. It might be useful having a Titan on our side but... I just wish he could transform quietly.”</p><p>At, that Jean smiled.  He couldn't agree more.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Expedition 57</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The following morning, the Scouts prepared to leave for their 57th expedition outside the Walls.  Kuro was positioned with Armin and Jean and Reiner and a few others, the rest of the 104th being scattered among other Squads, Eren riding with the elite Levi Squad.</p><p>Kuro was a little nervous. No amount of training could ever prepare them for what it was really going to be like. He was positioned to the right of his group. No use having him on the left, not with his blind eye.</p><p>The first charge out of the walls had felt like a release, some odd sense of freedom. Riding fast with his comrades by his side. He almost felt hopeful. That didn’t last long. It was easy at first. They dodged the titans, but then something went wrong.</p><p>Black smoke. Abnormal. And then… he saw it. A female Titan. Fifteen metres tall. A sense of dread filled Kuro. There was no way he could get away… he spurred his horse on. He raced along with Armin, Jean, and Reiner. Something felt off. They pulled their hoods up on Armin’s advice and tried to fight her, but all they managed to do was get her to leave.</p><p>Seeing Christa had been a relief. Finally, some hope that they would be able to get out and make it back alive. They managed to get back to the rest of the Scouts. But everything felt disorganised. No one knew what was happening. Even the more experienced Scouts seemed unsure.</p><p>Being sent up the trees was terrifying. The titans clawing below them. Kuro looked to his comrades. Even they looked scared. Talk went around that there was a plan… but it all seemed too haphazard. To made up on the spot. All it took was a roar before all the titans no longer acted the way they should.</p><p>It was a relief when the blue retreat flare was seen. It felt like it had been a long time, but the sun told the truth. Everything had happened in a few hours. Kuro clambered back onto his horse, tired, frightened and in poor spirits. Something had gone wrong. That had to be the only reason. They made their way back to the fields to regroup and to count up the dead and injured.</p><p>The field was spattered with blood, the grass swaying gently in the aftermath of the slaughter.  Where even to begin?  For some, only body parts remained... and others had been swallowed whole.</p><p>Armin stood with his head bandaged and his big eyes glistening with tears.  "There were two bolts of lightening..." he said quietly.  "Eren must have fought her..."  He seemed dazed.</p><p>“It’ll be fine," Kuro said. "He was with the Levi Squad after all. They’re the best we have.”</p><p>Still… the amount of death that surrounded them was horrifying. There were so few Scouts as it was… and it seemed their numbers would only fall. Seeing it almost made him feel sick, but he’d have to get used to it. He’d seen it twice before in Shiganshina and Trost, but this seemed worse. Soldiers who had returned before from previous expeditions now lay dead before them, yet… the ones from the 104<sup>th</sup> survived. He felt guilty. Surely, the less experienced should have died first. Not those with years behind them… not the ones with families to go back to. If he had died… there would be no point taking him back. There would be no one to return him back to.</p><p>Four Scouts then emerged from the forest, each burdened with a bloody, blanketed body.  Quietly, they laid them with the others as Armin and Kuro looked on.  As one of the Scouts passed by, Armin asked quietly, "Who are they?"</p><p>The Scout stopped, his head hanging with his eyes remaining downcast.  "...Levi Squad," he said quietly.</p><p>Armin's eyes widened.  "All... all of them??"  His voice was nearly a whisper.</p><p>"Not the Captain," the Scout answered.  "He went after Jaeger."  He then continued on his way.</p><p>“No…” Kuro couldn’t believe it. They couldn’t be dead. They were the best. What the hell had happened in that forest? He looked to Armin. Would the Captain and Eren be able to make it back? If the Scouts' best squad had all died, then how on Earth was he still standing with only a few cuts and bruises?</p><p>Armin's eyes were glinting with terror.  "How..." he whispered.</p><p>A zipping sound came from the trees, and the Captain and Mikasa landed in the grass.  A very sticky, unconscious Eren was draped over Levi's shoulder, and the Captain was limping visibly.  His strong shoulders seemed heavily weighted... and not just from the soldier he carried.</p><p>"I'll take him," Mikasa said stiffly, and Levi didn't argue as he passed him over.  His face tightened with pain as he did so.  He then made his way over to the still, lifeless forms in the grass.</p><p>Kuro hurried over to Mikasa. “What happened?” His voice was filled with worry and panic. With how the Captain was walking and Eren unconscious… this wasn’t how it was meant to go. He calmed himself down and tried to focus. “Would you like some help with Eren? There might be a cart he can go on. Resting him on a horse won’t be a good idea.”</p><p>"I'm taking him to a wagon."  Mikasa nodded ahead.  "And I've got him."  She hoisted him up a little, almost protectively.  "The female titan got away... almost with Eren in her mouth.  But Captain Levi saved him."</p><p>“Thank goodness for the Captain then.” Kuro looked over to the injured, grieving man. “It must have been hell…” he mused. Looking to the ground, he shook his head. He felt utterly and completely useless. He hadn’t been of any help at all. He’d not killed any titans nor even assisted in their deaths. Kuro had in fact missed. “Stupid eye…” he muttered to himself.</p><p>He looked out at everything; the death and disaster that surrounded him. The Scouts were lying in ruin. Armin and Jean had been taken off to help move the dead, but he was in shock. He felt like he couldn’t move or even breathe.</p><p>Mikasa hoisted Eren up into a wagon, then climbed up beside him.  She took off his cloak and folded it before gently lifting up his head and sliding the makeshift pillow underneath.  Then she removed her own cloak and covered him with it.  Her eyes were so full of pain as she looked down at him.</p><p><em>"That's the second time I almost lost you..."</em> she grieved inwardly.</p><p>Nearby, the Captain slowly knelt beside the bodies of his soldiers and his dearest friends.</p><p>Kuro looked to Mikasa and then to the Captain. He would have gone over to comfort one of them… but he had no words to offer them. Kuro kicked at the ground beneath his feet.</p><p>He thought of everything he could have done to maybe help. For once, he’d been too safe, too cautious. If only he’d taken more risks. Maybe then at least one more family would have been able to welcome a soldier back again.</p><p>Why was <em>he</em> still alive?</p><p>The Captain stood and remained a few moments more before turning to head back to his horse.  He reached up slowly, allowing her to sniff and then lick the backs of his knuckles.  His countenance bore so much pain.</p><p>Everyone seemed like they’d lost hope. Kuro sighed. One of the older Scouts called him over to go around and check all the horses since everyone else was slightly preoccupied with the dead and the injured. He checked those hooked up to the wagons first. He made sure none were too badly injured and swapped round any that were too tired to pull. It was easy enough since there were several horses who no longer had their riders.</p><p>The Scouts worked quietly, loading the dead and the injured into the wagons.  Mikasa left Eren to help, but was back at his side as soon as she could be.  Captain Levi seemed completely in a fog as he gave orders and tried to make sense of the chaos.  Finally, he climbed onto his horse, wincing visibly as he did.  He gave the signal, and the Scouts moved out.</p><p>Upon returning to the city, the Scouts were met with nothing but disdain.  The Military Police seized control of Eren like he was a traitor, jerking him away with unnecessary grunt force amid nasty sneers.</p><p>Kuro’s shock of the damage done to the Scouts turned to anger. The things the people said and shouted at them… he gripped tighter to his horse’s reins. <em>How could they say such things when they are standing there doing nothing?</em> he thought. He wanted to shout back… but knew it would be in vain… like everything else had been.  He pitied Eren as he was taken away. He hadn’t done anything wrong at all. There was another one… a real traitor who killed soldiers as if they were nothing yet Eren was being used as a scapegoat.</p><p>The Scouts were in low spirits as they were set up in the barracks.  Mikasa didn't speak to anyone and simply found a corner of the room to do some strength training exercises in.  Armin, his head still bandaged, sat on the edge of his cot leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his folded hands over his mouth.  The others were in a similar state.  It was as if everyone was in shock.  Truth be told... they were.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Broken</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The barracks were quiet. It felt all wrong. It felt like the whole world was against them, and for once, Kuro didn't feel sad or lonely... he was just angry. There was no way they were going to stop him from fulfilling his promise. Hell! He'd go out alone if he had to.</p><p>"I can't believe we lost Levi Squad..." Connie finally spoke up, breaking the silence.  "All four of em..."</p><p>"If they couldn't do it, how are we supposed to?" Jean muttered.  "Those four were hand-picked by Captain Levi."</p><p>“Hand-picked but had never met a titan with intelligence before.” Kuro was stood leant against the wall. “It was clear, like Armin said, she wanted Eren. They were in her way.  Although… so were we, so… why didn’t she kill us when we fought her? Granted, she nearly got Reiner, but… she could have easily finished us off… so why didn’t she? Why not kill us then head to get Eren?”</p><p>"Because we weren't her objective," Armin said quietly.  "Like you said, she killed those who got in her way."  He sighed, dropping his head into his hands.</p><p>“Then why kill everyone else?” Kuro’s voice raised slightly. “We were only as in the way as they were. We’ve killed Titans before. We could have killed her! We were all a threat! Why leave us round as witnesses? It doesn’t make any sense!”</p><p>"We COULDN'T have killed her," Mikasa snapped, sitting up from her place in the corner.  "Levi Squad couldn't kill her... Eren in his titan form couldn't do it.  AND... Captain Levi couldn't do it."</p><p>Armin's eyes widened.  "You saw the Captain fight her?"</p><p>Mikasa nodded, her eyes averted with a scowl.  "He... was incredible," she admitted.  "And he almost did it... but she has the ability to harden her skin.  Our blades couldn't even dent her nape.  In fact, Captain Levi was injured in the fight.  She's intelligent... that much is certain."  Mikasa hung her head.  "But we got Eren back..."</p><p>Kuro sighed.  “I’m sorry… it’s just… this all feels so hopeless. We’re not kids back in Shiganshina anymore. We’re soldiers and we only made it back because some stupid Titan took pity on us.” He kicked his bed. “What are we to do now? We need Eren back. We can’t let the MPs have their way. Bunch of cowards. I’d sooner trust him in Titan form with Section Commander running her experiments and we know what happened to the last two.”</p><p>Armin flopped backwards to lay down on the bed.  "I need to think..." he said quietly, and he closed his eyes, his wrist resting against his forehead.</p><p>Jean stood up.  "Well, it isn't curfew yet," he said with a lowered brow.  "I need some air."  He walked out of the barracks with long and heavy strides.</p><p>“Jean has a point. I’m gonna blow off some steam. Leave you in a little bit of peace Armin.” Kuro headed out as well. Maybe he could get some training in. Standing around complaining wasn’t going to get him anywhere.</p><p>Kuro passed by Hange's office, and the door was open only a little.  Through the thin opening, he saw the Section Commander sitting on the wood floor with her back against the wall.  Papers were scattered all around her in such a way that it looked like she'd gotten angry and swiped them off her desk.  Now, she just sat staring, her legs straight out in front of her in a wide V-shape with her hands flopped between them.</p><p>He looked at the scene before him. He couldn’t just leave her like that. It didn’t sit right with him especially since she’d been really kind to him. Kuro knocked softly on the door. “Section Commander?”</p><p>Hange looked up.  "What is it, Kuro?" she asked plainly, but softly.</p><p>“Do you need any help? I see your assistant isn’t around.” He stood by the door.</p><p>"Oh.  Moblit."  Hange looked down again.  It was only then that Kuro realized she was intoxicated... both from the slight slur in her words and from the half empty glass bottle beside her.  "I ummm..."  She shut her eyes and slid her hand down her face.  "...I gave him the night off.  Let him go see his family."</p><p>“I see.” He moved forward a little. “I don’t mind standing in for him Section Commander.” With the state she was in, along with what she was like normally… it was a surprise that he actually left her. Although, the pull of family was quite strong. At least Kuro was without any family left so he would always be free… and they wouldn’t have to bring his body back when he died on a mission… like he should have done during the expedition.</p><p>Hange hung her head and shook it a little.  Her shoulders were slumped, and her bangs fell forward over her eyes and her glasses.  "I don't have anything for you to do at the moment," she mumbled.  "Un...less you can mmaybe go look for my red journal for me."  She sighed and lifted her head again only to drop it back against the wall and close her eyes.  "I mmmust have left it... downstairss..."  Her words trailed off.  She was so exhausted.  And drunk.</p><p>“Of course, Section Commander.” He saluted before going to hunt for the journal. He’d start downstairs since that’s where she said it might be. At least it gave him something to do other than random and unfocused training. He walked quietly. It seemed wrong to move quickly with loud footsteps. Especially since everyone seemed to be in mourning.</p><p>The downstairs of the barracks was a windowless basement, lit dimly by oil lamp wall sconces.  There was a large conference room with a long, oak table, and it was here that Captain Levi sat with a lukewarm cup of black tea.  He was no longer in uniform, but he wore instead plain, loose black pants with a cotton civilian shirt.  His arms were crossed on the tabletop, and his slender, stormy blue eyes looked down into his teacup... but his gaze was a million miles away.</p><p>Kuro hadn’t expected to see the Captain down there but it was quiet and out of the way. He didn’t look like he wanted to be disturbed so… maybe… if he was quiet, he could sneak around and have a look for the journal. He walked around and kept he steps as quiet as possible. He looked around the tables and even on the floor… before spotting the book right next to the Captain. Typical. Kuro took quiet steps towards him but stopped a little way back and saluted. “Captain?”</p><p>Of course, Kuro's presence had been known to Levi all along, but he just hadn't reacted.  His head felt foggy, and his whole being ached with loss. </p><p>Farlan and Isabel were so heavy on his mind tonight...</p><p>And Gunther. </p><p>And Eld.</p><p>And Oluo.</p><p>And Petra</p><p>...and Kuchel.  His mother who had loved him more than anyone.</p><p>And Kenny, who had left him without care.</p><p>They surrounded him like ghosts, silent and ethereal in that quiet basement room.  And the throbbing pain in his leg wasn't making things any better.</p><p>"What is it, soldier?" Levi asked quietly, not looking up.</p><p>“My apologies Captain. I didn’t want to have to disturb you, but I was wondering if you could pass me the journal beside you. Section Commander Hange misplaced it and asked me to look for it for her.” As soon as he had it, he could leave the Captain in peace. Despite how stoic he was, the loss must have taken its toll on him as well as the injury Mikasa said he had sustained.</p><p>Levi's eyes shifted over to the journal.  "Tch.  Always misplacing things, that one.  Here you go."  He picked up the journal and held it out, making eye contact like the soldier he was.</p><p>Kuro took the journal. “Thank you Captain.” He stepped back a little and looked at the floor. “I also offer my condolences and an apology. The squad I was with had the opportunity to stop her, but we failed. So I apologise for my lack of ability on the battlefield.”</p><p>Levi looked back down into his tea.  "There's no need for that, soldier," he stated lowly.  "We all had an opportunity today and failed... Commander Erwin... my Squad... Eren... me."</p><p>“Mikasa said that you saved Eren from the female titan. At least that is one victory, sir.” He held the journal behind his back. Tapping it with his fingers for a second, he thought about what to say. “I understand how hard it is to lose your family sir. It never grows easier… even if you expect it, but… if you don’t mind me saying, Sir, as long as we keep them with us, we’ll never have truly lost them. By saying their names and speaking their stories, they will live on. Today may have been a failure, but we’ll fight harder next time to make sure their deaths are not worthless. Those I have lost have guided me to where I am now, Sir. Without them giving everything, I wouldn’t be standing here now, Captain.”</p><p>Levi's eyes lifted, his expression stoic as it ever was.  But his eyes... they gave him away.  There was so much pain in them.  So, so much pain...</p><p>Slowly, he nodded once, his parted hair falling forward a little as he did.  "I couldn't agree more," he said quietly.  Then he sighed and leaned forward a bit, looking downward as he slid his hand back through his ink-black hair.  It spilled over his fingertips before falling into place again on either side of his forehead.  "Your efforts don't go unnoticed," he commented firmly.  "I've seen the dedication with which you put your hands to your tasks."</p><p>Levi let his forearms come to rest against the wood tabletop, his strong shoulders bearing the weight of, not only the horrific events of the day, but a lifetime spent pushing, striving, fighting... there were few who ever saw the Captain in such a state.  He rarely allowed it.  But he was only human... and no one can be strong all the time.</p><p>A pair of slim, grey-blue eyes looked right into those of the younger man.  "You're a fine soldier, Kuro," Levi said simply.</p><p>“Thank you, Captain.” He saluted and turned to leave but something else crossed his mind. Maybe now… in the quiet… it was the correct chance to say it. While all was odd and chaotic… it could be said now and lost in the chaos later.</p><p>“Sir… Captain,” he turned around to look at him. “You probably already know this but like Eren, Mikasa and Armin, I too am from Shiganshina. On the day when the Colossal Titan attacked… I lost the only people I’d ever looked up to, my mother and father. I was 10 and was left to take care of both myself and my little brother. He was 7 at the time. Wall Rose wasn’t the safety we had hoped for, and without anyone to look out for us… I went astray to try to keep us alive. I stole and fought and did whatever I could to get either another scrap of food or another layer of clothing. It was all for nought as my brother died just under a year after we lost our parents. I promised him that I would make it back to Wall Maria and see the world beyond it.  That’s when I turned to look at the Scouts. I’ve been lost for so long, and now I think I’ve finally found my path and… hearing that from you makes me believe that this is the right choice. From the moment I set foot in here, you’ve been the one to look up to. I trust you. Even when all seems lost, you’re able to keep going. I made a promise to my brother and now I make one to you.  Captain Levi. I promise to follow you all the way to Wall Maria and then on to the horizon after.”</p><p>The Captain kept his eyes on the young Scout as he spoke.  His expression didn't change... not even a little.  But he heard every word.</p><p><em>"All these soldiers..."</em> he thought.  <em>"These kids.  Looking up to me like I'm some great leader.  I don't know how to lead... I just know how to kill.  I'm damn good at it... but I've never asked for heroism.  All these people worshipping the ground I walk on while they themselves aren't willing to lift a finger.  Tch.  Spare me."</em></p><p>As Kuro finished speaking, the Captain was quiet for a moment.  His thoughts continued...</p><p>
  <em>"But then there are those like this kid.  Those that get it.  Those who aren't just willing to kick back in security while the rest of us are soaked in the blood of human sacrifice.  As long as we have hearts like these... humanity has a chance in hell of beating the titans."</em>
</p><p>"I appreciate that," Levi finally said aloud.  "In return, I promise to maintain your trust."  He nodded once.</p><p>“Thank you Captain.” He looked at the book in his hand. “I should get this back to the Section Commander before she decides to drink the rest of whatever was in that bottle she had with her.” He saluted and left, making his way quietly back up the stairs. He knocked on the door. “Section Commander. I’ve found your journal.”</p><p>Hange was still against the wall with her legs straight out, but her top half had slumped sideways, and she was sound asleep.  The soft, flickering light glinted off the glasses that sat crooked on her nose.</p><p>Kuro sighed and went to place the journal on her desk. He looked around and picked up here green cloak and placed it over her. It was better than nothing. He left the room and pulled the door shut behind him. No point waking her up over just the journal.</p><p>As Kuro pulled the door shut, he heard the Captain's voice.  "She in there?" he asked.  The soft lighting illuminated his features.  He looked... different somehow without his uniform.  He didn't even have shoes on.</p><p>“Captain.” Kuro was a little stunned as he hadn't expected to see him there. He thought he would remain downstairs... at least for the time being. “She is, Sir. However, she's passed out on the floor so I used her cloak as a blanket. Wasn't quite sure what else to do.”</p><p>Levi nodded.  He moved passed Kuro into the office, stopping briefly to look around the room at the mess Hange had made.  Then his eyes fell on her passed out form.  His top lip curled a bit.  "Tch... you shitty glasses," he muttered, and he walked over to her.  Kneeling down, he wrapped one arm under her shoulders and sat her upright, then slid the other arm under her knees.  Pressing his weight into his right leg, he stood up, wincing even still.</p><p>"Mmh... Levi?"  Hange's words were barely a mumble as her eyelids fluttered and her head bobbed.</p><p>"Yeah, Four Eyes, it's me."  The Captain's voice was soft as he hoisted her into his arms, turning to leave the room.  Glancing at Kuro as he passed him, he ordered quietly, "Turn down the lamps, and then return to your barracks."</p><p>"Yes, Sir," Kuro replied equally as quietly before turning to sort the lamps out.</p><p>Hange's forehead dropped to lay against the base of Levi's neck.  "You'rrre hurt..." she slurred, protesting against being carried.</p><p>"And you're drunk."  Levi's voice trailed down the hallway, his bare footsteps against the wood floor uneven as he favored his left leg.</p><p>"Yeahhhh..."</p><p>"Tch.  Your breath smells like shit."</p><p>"Ppffftttt!"</p><p>"Ug--!  You're disgusting!"</p><p>"Youu lovve mee..."</p><p>"Stop talking."</p><p>And then their voices disappeared, and only silence remained.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Close Call</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sun gleamed down onto gently swaying grass, the light glinting off the dewy blades. A bird twittered from somewhere nearby, and the sky was clear and blue.</p><p>And then, a rumbling sound began to rise in volume and power until, like a flash, an army of galloping hooves corrupted the stillness of the peaceful field.</p><p>The Scouts rode toward the trees, their mission simple-- gather lumber from a forest outside Wall Rose since a fire had devastated a large wooded area that had been a heavy resource.</p><p>Kuro rode with sweaty palms clinging to the reins. After the first time, he’d been extra wary. Out here, they didn’t have an advantage like they'd had in Trost. He knew that now. He made sure to look over to his blind side occasionally. He trusted those he rode with, but he just wanted to make sure.</p><p>They reached the treeline, and Levi put his hand up to signal the Scouts to stop. "Alright!" he called out. "Let's get to work and get the wagons loaded up. I'd like to be back before sundown. You all know your positions. Rotations will be made on my command between keeping guard and chopping and loading wood. Let's go!" He dismounted his horse and moved around to her front, giving her a subtly affectionate pat against her thick, strong neck.</p><p>Kuro dismounted and moved to take up his position on the first guard watch. He scaled one of the trees on the edge of the forest to allow him a clear view. He kept one of the hooks wedged into the trunk of the tree just in case he took a wrong step and fell. <em>"Imagine that,"</em> he thought to himself. <em>"Come all the way out here and die due to falling out of a tree. Talk about pathetic."</em></p><p>The Scouts got to work sawing down trees and chopping the wood.</p><p>"Not exactly what I signed up for when I joined the Scouts..." Jean muttered, pausing with an axe held at his side as he wiped his brow with his other wrist.</p><p>"Hey, at least no one's getting eaten!" Sasha chirped.</p><p>About two hours in, a thudding sound began approaching.</p><p>Moving towards the edge of the branch, Kuro started scanning the horizon. He knew it wouldn’t be that far away, but he started there and worked his way closer to himself. “Eren! See anything yet?” he called over.</p><p>"There's some movement over this way," Eren called back.</p><p>Kuro turned to inform the others, but suddenly, a titan came diving through the trees, arms out and mouth open wide.</p><p>"Nhh--! An abnormal!" Eren yelled.</p><p>The titan's actions had been so fast, so out of the blue, and its earth-shattering dive had sent stones and debris flying. In the midst of the chaos, Hange had turned around to see what was going on, and a heavy, sharp rock had slammed into her forehead just above her eyebrow. Blood immediately ran down her face, and she dropped to her knees, dizzy and losing consciousness. Her upper half flopped into the grass, and she lay there still. </p><p>All of this occurred in little more than a second's time, and the sickening cracking and splintering of wood sounded throughout the dust-filled air. A huge half-sawed tree began to twist and tilt, its shadow looming directly over where Hange was lying helplessly.</p><p>"HANGE!!!" Levi's voice split through the chaos, panicked and terrified.  No one had ever heard the Captain yell like that before.  </p><p>A few nearby Scouts quickly sliced the nape of the grinning titan in the meantime, but it was like suffocating slow-motion that felt like several moments in a matter of one or two seconds.</p><p>Levi knew there was nothing he could do. He was too far away, it wasn't physically possible for him- for <em>ANYONE</em>- to get to her in time. The tree was falling, crashing down towards her with incredible force, and all he could do was watch as a horrible tightness constricted his throat and chest and stomach.</p><p>The Scouts all looked on in horror, some even shutting their eyes and looking away from what was about to happen. An ear-splitting, thunder-like crack shattered the air, and a forceful wind threw out stones and woodchips and dirt...</p><p>And then it was silent. So suddenly, so abruptly. Amid coughs and questioning vocalizations, the Scouts all at once beheld a massive, black-haired, green-eyed titan standing over Hange, its powerfully muscular shoulders holding up the gargantuan tree trunk.</p><p>
  <em>...Eren!</em>
</p><p>His knees began to buckle under the weight, for even his titan form was no match for these colossal trees. His emerald eyes looked directly up at Kuro from above his corpse-like mouth.</p><p><em>"Grab her!"</em> Eren pleaded in his mind from inside his titan. His human teeth gritted with the effort. <em>"I can't... hold this up... much longer..."</em></p><p>Kuro was frozen for a moment as the titan form of his comrade stared at him before he quickly snapped himself out of it and understood the message. He shot a line and used the gas to fly as quickly as he could to the Section Commander. He knelt down next to her and gathered her up in his arms before shooting another line and getting them out of the way and closer to the Captain. When he was happy with the distance, he gently laid her down before looking her over in case of any other injuries.</p><p>Levi was at Hange's side almost instantly, taking a knee as Kuro laid her down in the grass.</p><p>No sooner had Kuro cleared out did Eren's titan collapse powerfully to its knees. The tree came down with intense force onto his back, sending out another shockwave of dirt and woodchips and gravel. Then the titan lay still, steam rising from its already decaying corpse. The nape wriggled and then burst open, Eren's head and shoulders flying backwards. The titan muscle was fused to his face just beneath his eyes, and his arms were still immersed in the red titan flesh. "Is she okay???" he called out frantically.</p><p>“She seems to be!!!” Kuro called back. Her breathing seemed normal and there didn’t seem to be any other injuries other than the one on her forehead… although it looked pretty nasty.</p><p>Kuro took his cloak off and scrunched up the hood, using it to clean the blood away from the cut. He couldn’t see anything stuck in it, though, it was fairly deep. “She might need stitches for that…” he mused.</p><p>"Tch-!" Levi draped an arm over his knee. "I suppose we'll have to send her back with some Scouts then... which means a loss of manpower." He looked up. "Daylight won't last forever..." he muttered. He looked back down at Hange and leaned down, gently brushing some of her hair away from the gash with his thumb as he looked at it more closely. "...you're right. It's too deep to just wrap it. But I suppose that's all we can do for now."</p><p>“Shame we don’t have a medic with us here," Kuro mused. "The sooner it’s sorted out, the better…” He looked at the wound again and dabbed some more blood away. There was a lot of it. Head wounds always seemed to bleed like hell… Kuro knew that all too well. “She’s lucky though. At least it hit her eyebrow and not her eye. That would have been much worse.” He lifted his head. “Does anyone have any water to spare so we can clean it?”</p><p>"Here!" Armin jogged over and offered a canteen of water just as Hange's eyelids began to flutter.</p><p>"Nhh--! Oww..." she groaned.</p><p>"Shh. Don't talk." Levi spoke to her firmly yet gently.</p><p>Hange winced hard. "What... happened...?" she managed.</p><p>"You have a head injury. And I said no talking." Levi's words were a bit more stern this time. He sighed and adjusted his stance irritably. "We have a med kit," he remembered aloud. Looking around, he raised his voice. "Get me the medical kit!" He looked back down at Hange. "...damn. I'm no doctor..."</p><p>Placing a hand just above her eye to stop the water, Kuro carefully pored it over the wound, getting rid of any dirt in it, then he dried it using his cloak. Shame human blood didn’t disappear like titan blood did... “If this was fabric or leather then I might have been able to help…”</p><p>Levi looked up. "Why do you say that?" he asked plainly. He took the medical kit that Jean handed him.</p><p>“Oh, my father was a cobbler and my mother a dressmaker," Kuro replied. "Sewing was a major part of what we did since both of their occupations required it.” He said it without much thought. If only Eren had learnt more stuff from his father… they may have gotten somewhere then.</p><p>Levi looked back down at Hange. An infected head wound could be incredibly dangerous...  </p><p>"Pretend its leather, then," he said decidedly. He opened the medical kit and extracted a needle and suture thread. He held it out toward Kuro.</p><p>Kuro's eyes widened.  “S-sir… I’m not sure if I can… I don’t even know how to begin sewing skin. I could make it worse.” Hell, he didn’t even know what stitch to use to sew someone up.  He looked down at the Section Commander. Maybe he’d just have to grit his teeth and get on with it… the Captain was in charge of him after all.  He gulped.  “Sir… do you trust me to be able to do this?”</p><p>"I've got no other choice, it seems," Levi sighed. "But I don't see how it can be much different than sewing boot leather. It's just messier is all..."</p><p>Kuro sighed and then threw his cloak to Armin. “Keep the wound clean while I work and try to keep any blood from running into her eye.” He thought about what else would be needed. “Can maybe two come and help to hold her still? I need her to be completely still while I do this. Don’t want to end up creating more injuries if she moves too much.”</p><p>He stripped himself of his jacket and rolled it up underneath her head before pulling up the sleeves of his red shirt and pouring the water from the canteen over his hands to wash them.  He then carefully threaded the needle while thinking of which stitch to use. “I’ll apologise now, Section Commander, but this is going to hurt like hell. I’ll be as careful as I can but this will not be pleasant.”</p><p>Hange was more awake now, and she nodded, taking a deep breath. Levi carefully removed her goggles for her and then dabbed some antiseptic onto a sterile cloth. "Sorry about this, Four Eyes..." he said quietly, and he pressed the cloth against the ugly wound.</p><p>"Hnn--!" Hange inhaled sharply.  She took another deep breath, focusing on controlling her breathing.</p><p>"I can help." Eren knelt down on the other side of Hange as Levi and Kuro. Vertical red gashes from where the titan muscle had torn away his human skin ran like tears beneath his eyes.</p><p>Levi continued carefully cleaning the wound with the disinfectant. The strong-smelling cloth was soaked in red now. "Fine by me," he replied.</p><p>Kuro knotted the end of the thread once he had worked out which stitch would work best. His mother had used it for altering clothing, as it was hidden… hopefully it would work. “Okay. I'm going to keep the stitches fairly loose at first, but when there are stitches all the way up… I’m going to pull the thread tight. This should pull the wound together as well as hide the stitches. To be honest, that will probably be the worst part.”</p><p>He waited for everyone to be in position, then leant over her. “This might be better if you closed your eyes. I’ll talk you through what I’m doing so you know what to expect.” </p><p>Hange nodded bravely as he spoke. She didn't look scared... just in pain. She shut her eyes and sighed, mentally preparing for the ordeal.</p><p>Kuro brought the needle to the bottom of the gash. “First stitch in 3… 2… 1…” He pushed the needle through the skin. It felt odd. It was harder than fabric but easier than leather… maybe it was the blood that was helping.</p><p>The first stitch went in, and Hange's brow furrowed. Her body tensed up, and she resisted the urge to arch her back and jerk her head away. Instead, her fingers tightened around handfulls of grass at her sides. Her breathing was quick and jagged, but she fought to stay as still as possible. She was strong, and it showed.</p><p>It was subtly done, but as Kuro worked, Levi quietly placed his free hand on top of Hange's. Her fingers responded, curling a little bit towards Levi's. But the Captain's expression remained as plain as ever.</p><p>This would be hard on anyone. It also wasn't easy to do. With each stitch, both the needle and Kuro's hands got bloodier which made everything both sticky and slippery. It was a weird sensation.</p><p>Finally, the stitches were all loosely in place.  "Okay... here comes the worst part," Kuro told Hange. "I'm going to pull on the thread, which will then pull everything together. You'll have to brace yourself for this. It might take about 10 to 15 seconds to do as I also need to make sure that the wound is coming together nicely. Is everyone ready?"</p><p>"Ready as I can be, I suppose," Hange said, her eyes still shut. Her voice was strained with discomfort, but it sounded like her normal self for the most part. </p><p>The others nodded, and Levi's fingers moved inward toward her palm to hold her hand a little tighter.</p><p>Kuro took a deep breath. Slowly, he teased the thread tighter so the skin slowly came back together. He blocked everything else out and focused only on what he was doing. </p><p>Hange's grip instantly tightened on Levi's hand as the thread was pulled tighter. Her teeth grit, and her brow creased as a sound likened to a sob caught sharply in her throat. Halfway through, she bit her bottom lip, her breathing erratic. "Hh--! Damn it!" she choked out. The effort it was taking to lie still caused a tremor to pass over her, tensing and jolting her to her fingertips.</p><p>"Hey." Levi's voice was soft but firm. "Don't fall apart on me now, Shitty Glasses. He's almost done." His voice lowered, and he leaned in a little as his thumb brushed over her knuckles. "You're doing great."</p><p>The stitch seemed to be working. It pulled together like it should, and after a few moments, the wound was closed properly. Kuro checked it over before knotting the thread and snipping off the excess. "Stitches are done now." He passed the needle to Armin in exchange for some bandages.</p><p>As he wrapped the bandage around her head, Hange gave a simple, exhausted, "Thanks..."</p><p>“No problem, Section Commander,” Kuro trying to steady his breathing a little. He felt like he’d forgotten to breathe through the whole thing. Sewing a shirt was one thing, but trying to sew up a wound was completely different. He wasn’t used to sewing anything that bled.</p><p>"Good work," the Captain commended Kuro. But his eyes didn't leave her... his hand didn't either.</p><p>“Thank you, Captain.” Kuro kept his eyes trained on the bandage. “What should we do now?”</p><p>Levi handed Kuro the bottle of disinfectant. "Clean yourself up. Then return to your positions. I'll take care of Hange."</p><p>“Yes sir.” Kuro took the bottle and began scrubbing his hands. He still didn’t feel clean even after he was. He rolled his sleeves back down and put on his bloodstained cloak.</p><p>Levi helped Hange sit up, then lifted her up into his strong arms.</p><p>"I can walk, Levi," Hange told him, but her eyes were shut and her eyebrows were furrowed.  Everything was spinning.</p><p>"Yeah. Sure you can." Levi carried her over to a shady spot, a short distance away from the others. "Hang onto me," he instructed plainly.</p><p>Hange's arms went around his neck, and she held tightly onto her own wrist. With a <em>POP!</em> and a <em>ZZZZTTTTTT</em>, the Captain shot them both up to a tree branch, the cables then retracting back into the metal boxes at his sides. He knelt to set Hange down, propping her up a bit against the tree trunk.</p><p>"Don't ever do that again, you Shitty Glasses, do you hear me?"</p><p>Hange looked at him, her expression still pained. "I'm fairly certain the situation was out of my control," she snipped coolly.</p><p>"I mean it," Levi growled lowly. "I can't--" He hesitated. Then he glowered off to the side and stated stiffly, "I just can't. Okay?"</p><p>Hange was looking at him, her eyes widened in a soft expression with her lips slightly parted. "Can't... what?" she asked in almost a whisper.</p><p>Levi's head was still turned away as he knelt before her with one arm draped over his bent-up knee. His jaw tightened as a warm breeze fluttered his hair and his cloak. "I can't lose you," he said so quietly, Hange wasn't sure if she'd heard him right.</p><p>The breeze picked up a bit, catching their clothing and the ends of their hair in a momentary dance before letting things settle again. A bird twittered from a branch up above them.</p><p>Hange reached up to brush aside a strand of her hair that had come to rest on the wrong side of her nose. Her hand still up by her face, she said his name in a meaningful exhale. "Levi..."</p><p>The Captain's head snapped to look at her. "Get some rest," he said tightly. And before she could respond, he was gone.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. No Regrets</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was evening, and Captain Levi stood on a rooftop watching the sunset.  His hair and his cloak flapped and fluttered in a warm breeze as he stood lost in his troubled thoughts.  The events of the day weighed heavily on his mind.  Over and over, his memory replayed that awful moment... the tree snapping and falling, the sickening twist in his stomach...</p><p></p><div>
  <p>Levi sighed as he sat down with his back against a chimney.  One leg stretched out before him, and the other he bent up, his forearm coming to rest atop it.</p>
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  <p>In his lifetime, he had loved deeply and he had lost greatly.  He loved Hange... he knew that now.  Maybe even, he'd known it for awhile.  But <em>this</em> love, this... ache that burned inside him... this wasn't the way he'd loved Farlan or Isabel or anyone ever before.  With Hange, it was different.  With Hange...</p>
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  <p>Levi closed his eyes and brought a hand to his forehead.  He'd never wanted to love anyone like this... He'd seen the grieving widows countless times... heard their heart-shattering sobs, their anguished wails as their lover was brought home on a stretcher or in pieces or not at all... and he wanted no part of it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>But he wanted other things too... he <em>wanted</em> to be close to her.  To lay down beside her and hear her heartbeat and breathe her scent.  To hold her against him wrapped in darkness and in the coolness of bedsheets.  To call her his... he wanted that. </p>
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  <p>...but was it worth it?<br/> <br/>The sun sank behind the Wall, and Levi still sat there beneath a glittering night sky.  He could feel them there... Isabel to his right, Farlan to his left.  The pain of losing them remained so sharp, even after all these years.</p>
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  <p>It wasn’t his intention to fall asleep up on that rooftop, but all the same, he drifted off, and it wasn’t long before two unforgettable faces appeared in his dreams.  He found himself in a large open space, all blank and black.  Ahead, he saw a simple wooden table in a lighted area that appeared to be the corner of a room... a very familiar room.</p>
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  <p>"Ha!  Big Bro!"  A short, red-headed, pigtailed figure with wide and vivacious green eyes stood up and lifted a hand in an exuberant wave.</p>
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  <p>The tall young man next to her with the light grey-blue eyes and sandy hair smiled as he sat with his arms folded casually on the tabletop, a hot cup of tea before him.</p>
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  <p>Levi slowly walked towards them, and he felt an all too familiar pain in his chest. “Farlan... Isabel...” He said their names quietly.</p>
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  <p>"LEVI BRO!"  Isabel Magnolia swept around the table and crashed into Levi in a big bear hug.  Her arms flew around his neck as her knees bent up behind her.</p>
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  <p>Levi furrowed his brow as he hugged her back, holding her off the ground a bit.</p>
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  <p>Farlan was beside him now too, pulling him into a tight hug from the side.  He smiled warmly, that spark in his soft, yet stormy eyes ever-present.  "Look at you," he said, jostling him a bit in a brotherly way.  "Big ol' Captain in the Scouting Legion."  He laughed.</p>
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  <p>"We're so proud of you!!" Isabel's feet touched the floor again, and she looked up at Levi, her arms still around his neck.</p>
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  <p>The side of Levi’s mouth twitched into the slightest of smiles as he exchanged looks with the both of them, but the pain never left his eyes. “I miss you," he said quietly.  "Every day, I miss you both."</p>
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  <p>Isabel's smile softened but didn't disappear.  She took hold of his arm and rested her head against his shoulder and collarbone.  </p>
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  <p>Farlan slid both hands casually into his own pockets.  "We're not completely gone," he said with a light shrug.  "We know you still see us when you look at the sky."  He grinned.  "And I know for a fact you still make your tea the way I taught you."</p>
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  <p>"And you still hear me when birds sing."  Isabel rested her chin on his shoulder, smiling at him and still holding his arm.</p>
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  <p>Levi nodded and looked at her, bringing his hand up to move it affectionately in her hair.  "I just... wish we'd had more time," he said achingly.</p>
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  <p>"We'll always wish that," Farlan said gently.  Keeping one hand in his pocket, he firmly took hold of Levi's hand with the other.</p>
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  <p>"But we had what we had." Isabel slipped her hand into Levi's as well.  "And you've still got a lot of life left to live."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No regrets, Levi."  Farlan nodded down at his brother, meeting his gaze.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No regrets," Isabel repeated.  She lifted up onto her tiptoes and kissed his cheek.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The Captain's eyes opened then, a soft and sweet sensation still lingering on the side of his face.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>But his hands were empty now.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He looked down at them, his palms turned upward, his fingers slightly curled.</p>
  <p>
    <em>No regrets...</em>
  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Losing the two people he loved the most had been, and still remained, the worst pain he'd ever endured.  <em>"But..."</em> he thought to himself as some hair fluttered over his forehead.  <em>"I’ll never regret the time I had with them..."</em>  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He looked upward again, realizing in that moment that what little time he may ever have with Hange would be worth never having it at all.  He knew in that moment that never telling her how he felt would be a decision he’d regret.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>And <em>"No Regrets.”</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>That was his motto.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Pressing his hand into his knee, he stood up and tilted his face toward the sky one more time. A shooting star graced across the heavens, and he felt a flutter in his stomach.  Lightly, he exhaled in something likened to a chuckle as just the beginnings of a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Alright then...” he sighed.  And then he added with a whisper, “I believe in you.”</p>
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  <p>He made his way to his room and shut the door. His mind was a million miles away as muscle memory effortlessly removed the ODM gear.  He then turned with the complicated piece of equipment made of leather and brass buckles, and he hung it on a wall hook.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>It was only after a hot bath and a cup of tea that Levi made his way down the hallway to Hange’s room, dressed in civilian clothes now.  It wasn’t too late, but he knew she’d be up.  He knew her well.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Hange opened the door to his knock, looking surprised when she saw him standing there.  A doctor had taken a look at her injury, and a simple square bandage was taped in place over it.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh!  Levi.  Is something the matter?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“No,” he replied dryly.  “I just wanted to make sure you hadn’t keeled over or something.”  He sighed a bit awkwardly and gestured forward with a nod of his head.  “...may I come in?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Uh... sure.”  Hange opened the door wider and stepped aside to let him in.<br/>She started to say something bright and casual as she was shutting the door, but Levi’s words cut her off.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Alright, listen to me, Four Eyes, because what I have to say needs to be said... even if I’m not quite sure how to say it.”</p>
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  <p>Hange blinked her eyes.  She nodded.  “...okay.”  She crossed her arms, ready to listen.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Levi’s eyes looked directly into hers as he stood there with his arms at his sides.  Silence hung between them, disturbed only by the soft flicker of oil lamps.  </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Hange's eyebrows rose, and she shifted her weight to her other leg.  "What's the matter there, Levi?" she asked gently.  "You're not constipated, are you?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"No, but I appreciate the concern."  Levi's response was easy and quick.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Hange smiled.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Levi brushed his fingers against the side of his nose, then brought his hands to his hips.  "How's the injury?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Fine," Hange answered.  "I've got a bit of a headache," she added.  "But that's to be expected, I suppose."</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Levi nodded.  Then he swallowed.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Hange uncrossed her arms and instead took hold of her elbows.  "Levi, what is it?"</p>
</div><div>
  <p>A million words swirled around in his mind... a million ways to start this conversation.  A million rabbit trails of awkward sentences all tripping over one another... But he said nothing, his mouth open only slightly, as if stuck on the beginnings of whatever it was he wanted to say... only he didn't know how to say it.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Looking up into her big brown eyes, her face framed by messy hair, Levi could only make sense of one thing, one truth.  Anything else he could say would only dance around three little words, and so he saved himself the trouble and just said them.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>"...I love you," he said so simply, helplessly, as though any other words would fail him.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Hange's lips parted, her eyes widening.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I’ve lost a lot of people, Hange," Levi went on, finding it easier to speak now that she knew why he was here.  "You know that, and you have too.  And awhile back, I resolved that I—”  He looked away, and his voice lowered.  “...that I would never... be with anyone."  His tone was the same as it ever was, despite the words tasting so foreign on his tongue.  He looked at Hange again.  “I made the vow to myself at a time when I didn’t know what the hell it was to... <em>want</em> to be with someone.  I never have before.”  His brow was lowered, and it was taking everything he had not to make some sharp remark and turn and leave for the sake of his utter discomfort.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Hange listened to him, her eyes never leaving his face.  “And...”  Her voice was a whisper, almost a squeak.  “...are you saying you... want that now?”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Levi stepped forward then, making Hange’s stomach flip.  He looked up at her, his eyes moving back and forth a little with the intensity of his gaze.  He felt the words before he even voiced them, like a bubbling up in his abdomen and his chest and his throat, and then he was saying them again, clearly this time and without an ounce of doubt.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I love you.  Damn it, Hange, I do.  I—”</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The tears glinting in her eyes gave her away, the soft expression, the smile that formed around the breath of an exhale, and Levi knew she felt the same way.  Without another word or thought, he was suddenly kissing her, his hand resting firmly at the base of her neck as her own came to his sides.  His instincts were raw and unpracticed, but nothing in his life had ever felt so right as this.  The uncertainly he felt only moments ago vanished completely, and he knew without question...</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He’d never regret this.</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Rain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sky was the brightest blue, and the sun shone down on Kuro as he ran through familiar streets towards a gathering crowd. He could hear mumblings and whispers coming from those ahead. He saw three children run past him… a flash of brown, black and blond… charging towards the crowd by the wall. The closer he got, the more the sun became blocked by the looming structure, shrouding the people it protected in shadow.</p><p>A colossal hand. A skinless face. Crying. Shouting. Screaming. All in the blink of an eye.</p><p>His heart pounded in his chest, and there was nothing but the sounds of lives being torn apart and buildings crashing down all around him. He looked up once again and couldn’t even see the sun. No wall blocked it, just the smoke rising from the city.</p><p>Kuro blinked and found himself running away from the wall. His arms held tightly to the small boy he carried. Ryu’s cries tore his heart in two as he raced through the chaos. Looking for somewhere. Somewhere he knew. Somewhere he loved and felt safe…</p><p>His home was rubble. There was nothing left of it. Blood flowed from his ruined home, twisting in small rivers round the cobblestones at his feet. Shaky step by shaky step, Kuro inched closer while his hand held Ryu’s head against his shoulder, shielding the young boy from the horrors around them.</p><p>Red clouded his vision like the blood covered his father. The man lying on the ground missing everything below his torso, his guts spilling out onto the street. His mother was screaming something at him, but he couldn’t make it out. Everything around him began to sound like he was under water. He looked down and saw the blood begin to creep up his legs. It was thick and clung to him as he tried to retreat from it. Kuro started to panic, stumbling backwards as he started to run.</p><p>He slipped, falling forwards and-</p><p>The rain poured and poured. It thundered onto the roof as Kuro knelt beside Ryu, running a cloth over his forehead, just trying to fight the fever. His brother only coughed, his eyes barely opening any more. Kuro begged to whatever power would listen to him. He couldn’t lose him. Not now. The storm grew louder and louder and-</p><p>A crack of thunder jolted him awake, his breathing heavy. The rain lashed against the windows of the barracks as the thunder rumbled around. But the weather outside was the only thing disturbing the peace of the barracks. Just a dream. Kuro brought his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them and dropping his head on top. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. His lungs were doing the right thing but it felt like there was no air around him at all.</p><p>Kuro tried to slow his breathing down. He <em>tried</em> to hold each breath for longer but it only made him start to panic. The images of his nightmare flashed through his mind, blurring them with the reality of all he’d seen. The harder he tried to calm himself down and pull himself back to reality, the worse it got. It was useless, and it was driving him mad. </p><p>He needed air, needed space. It was all too much for Kuro right now. How he longed for the break of day, for something to do with his hands, for something else to occupy his thoughts... but hours remained until then, and Kuro wasn't certain he could last that long. Kuro pushed back the blanket, and as quietly as he could, got up from his bed. He needed to get out. Silently, he picked up his boots, waiting until he’d crept outside the barracks to slip them on his feet. </p><p>He made his way hastily to the door that led to a small balcony. It wasn’t exactly discreet, but Kuro wasn’t thinking about that. It was the quickest way out.</p><p>Upon opening the door, the rain quickly drenched him, and the stormy wind pushed and pulled at his black hair.  Kuro slumped against the wall, leaning over with his head hanging down and just let the downpour drown out everything... even the tears that began to stream down his face. The ache he felt seemed to mirror the lonely rumbles of thunder and the mournful wind. It had been a long time since Kuro had felt this alone and this helpless.</p><p>An hour or so passed.  The blueness of early morning hung in the air, and a bird twittered from a drippy branch outside, though the rain itself had stopped. </p><p>In a room down the hall, Levi sat shirtless on the edge of a mattress as he pulled his boots on, his movements careful and quiet.</p><p>From behind him came a snort and then a mumble.  "Wr- write that down... mhh... write it down..." <em>Snnnoorrree</em></p><p>Levi turned to look at Hange, placing a hand behind him as he did. "Tch..." He shook his head slightly. Then he leaned down towards her, his hair falling forwards, and he brushed a gentle kiss against her cheekbone. His eyes closed as his inhale caught her scent, enveloping his senses with the memory of her lips and her skin and the warmth of her closeness he'd left only moments before.</p><p>Zoe Hange smiled in her sleep with a contented little exhale as she stretched one of her curled legs out, gently rustling the sheets.</p><p>Levi then stood up and reached for his shirt, pulling it over his head and adjusting it over his torso before quietly moving to the door. He turned one more time to look at Hange...</p><p>The softest glint of early light was cast over her sleeping form, and Levi felt a warmth stir deep within him. He smiled softly, the edges of his mouth lifting only slightly with the swell of his chest. Then he turned and opened the door without sound.</p><p>Meanwhile, Kuro finally decided to sneak back inside. His midnight adventure really hadn't been one of his best ideas. He looked like a drowned rat and was shivering as he crept down the corridor. Rainwater dripped down from his hair and clothing as his boots left wet footprints on the ground.</p><p>As he turned the last corner, he saw the door of Section Commander Hange's room begin to open. <em>Dammit. This isn't good.</em> Kuro hastily decided to back track. With some luck, he could hide at the end of the corridor. <em>At least it's just Section Commander Hange,</em> he thought. <em>It could be worse.</em></p><p>The door shut again, and then quiet bootsteps tapped down the wooden floor... right towards Kuro.</p><p>Then they stopped suddenly.</p><p>Levi looked down at the wet marks. Then his footsteps became quicker as he followed them straight to their source.</p><p>As Kuro hurried along the corridor, he suddenly realised the one major flaw in his plan. He was, of course, dripping wet and leaving a very noticeable trail on the floor. Not matter what he did, he'd still be in trouble. Luck was never on his side.</p><p>"HEY." The Captain's tone was as sharp as his blades.</p><p>He froze in his tracks. Kuro knew exactly who that voice belonged to. He was so dead. In that moment, Kuro couldn't help but to wonder if there was some sort of higher power that really enjoyed messing with him. The one time he broke curfew, and who should find him? It never happened to Sasha or any of the others who were constantly out. Of course, it had to happen to him.</p><p>In fact, Kuro wished that a Titan would break into the Scouts HQ and eat him there and then. Such a catastrophe might just distract the Captain from the footprints.</p><p>Levi took a few quick strides to round the corner, then stopped. His steely eyes narrowed and then traveled disapprovingly over the sodden young soldier. "...what were you doing outside?" he questioned directly.</p><p>Kuro turned around a saluted. "I was... err... was... erm..." His heart was pounding, and his head had turned to mush. "I... err... was just..." This was useless. "Just... needed some air... sir..." Kuro sighed, defeated.</p><p>"I see." The intensity of Levi's gaze was driving a hole right between Kuro's eyes. "Mind telling me why 'just needing some air' was so damn important that you broke multiple rules doing it?" His voice raised sharply at the end.</p><p>"I... well... I..."</p><p>Kuro at least managed to work out that he had two options: one, lie and quickly come up with something else, or two, tell the truth and end up sounding like some little kid wanting his mum. He'd look bad either way. There wasn't any getting out of it.</p><p>"I... was panicking... because of nightmare, Captain, sir..." He hung his head a little. "It... well... brought up some stuff I'd rather forget."</p><p>Levi crossed his arms. He was quiet for a moment, not breaking eye contact. When he spoke again, his voice seemed to echo down the hallway. "So you're above rules, then. Is that it?"</p><p>"No, Captain. It won't happen again, sir." Kuro wished this would just be over already. He'd broken the rules and had been caught. Whatever punishment he was going to get, he'd take it.</p><p>But Levi wasn't about to dismiss the matter so easily. "Tell me," he said lowly. "How exactly does a bad dream justify your blatant lack of regard toward the rules that have been set in place by your superiors?"</p><p>Kuro swallowed, and looked at the floor. There was no rhyme or reason to what he had done. Even he couldn't exactly work out why he'd gone out in the pouring rain.</p><p>"It doesn't, Captain."</p><p>"No," Levi snapped. "It doesn't. You may be thinking I'm a heartless son of a bitch right now who doesn't give a shit about everything you've lost, but you're wrong. The truth is, we're all living in the same hell, soldier. And it doesn't give you or me or anyone else the right to disregard regulations. DO I make myself clear?" Levi stepped forward and pressed his fist against Kuro's chest, pushing him up against the wall. His face was only inches away.</p><p>"Yes, Captain. It won't happen again, sir. I wasn't thinking straight." Kuro shoulders dropped. He'd been stupid and not thought about what he was doing. All this because of a nightmare. He really hadn't grown up at all.</p><p>Levi sensed that the boy was accepting his fate without learning his lesson. "HEY. Snap out of it, soldier!" He shoved his weight into the arm against Kuro's chest. "You think you're the only one who's suffering?! The only one who's had their life torn to shreds by this goddamn war??" His voice lowered to a growl. "You think you're the only one who's ever held the lifeless remains of someone you love in your arms? Look around you, Kuro. Your grief isn't special... No one's is."</p><p>Kuro knew this. Of course, there was nothing special about it. Everyone had lost someone. He was meant to be a soldier for crying out loud, meant to be strong and be able to move on from his past. His family were dead and gone. That was that.</p><p>"I understand, Captain," he said simply with a nod.</p><p>Levi's eyes didn't leave Kuro's. Then, he let his arm fall, taking a step back but maintaining his gaze. When he spoke again, his tone was changed completely, sounding low and tired. "They're gone, Kuro." Levi's deep voice hung heavily in the empty corridor. "They're gone, and we're still here. All we can do now is to honor their memory and to live in such a way that does just that. Keep that in mind next time you think you can just do whatever the hell you want. Everything you do, every choice you make, every risk you take, should be for those you've lost... isn't that what you told me?"</p><p>Kuro's eyed widened at that. He hadn't even realised that the Captain had remembered that conversation or paid much attention to it. There had been greater concerns that night than the ramblings of a young soldier.</p><p>"I did, Captain. I'll keep that in mind, sir," he said slowly and quietly.</p><p>Levi looked at him a moment longer for emphasis before nodding. "We'll discuss your demerits later. For now, you're going to scrub every damn centimeter of this floor." His finger thrust forcefully downward as he said the words.</p><p>"Yes, Captain." He saluted again. Kuro had been expecting to clean the floor, as he was the one who'd made the mess in a first place.</p><p>Levi briefly wondered if Kuro had seen which door he'd come out of... But he wasn't going to bring it up. He nodded curtly. "When you're through with that and your regular daily chores, report back to me," he ordered. And then he was gone, his boots taking him once again down the wood-planked hall.</p><p>Kuro made his way over to the broom cupboard and got the stuff needed. He took everything right to the end of the corridor and started scrubbing the floor. This was going to take a while... especially with getting it up to the Captain's standards.</p><p>As he was kneeling down, scrubbing at the floor, he had time to think about what Captain Levi had said. He'd let his emotions get control of him, and he couldn't let that happen again. The Captain was right, everyone was going through this, so that didn't excuse him. Kuro knew fully well that everyone was having nightmares about what they'd experienced. Living like this meant that no one got spared when it came to seeing the horrors of this world. Soldiers didn't truly live... they just survived. They had to fight every day. They had to be strong no matter what they faced: mental or physical.</p><p>His mind wandered as he carried on cleaning. It wandered back to Ryu, when the boy was happy and healthy and full of life. How he'd tried so hard to set his little brother a good example to follow. He hadn't managed it this time. <em>Everything you do, every choice you make, every risk you take, should be for those you've lost... </em>That's what Captain Levi had said. Kuro thought about what that meant to him and kept coming back to the same answer. To move forward and be better, he should try to think about trying to set an example for Ryu still. He could never have let his little brother see him breaking rules like that in case the lively boy got the same idea.</p><p>Kuro sighed and looked at his slight reflection in the wet floor. "Alright, Ryu," he whispered quietly. "It's time to show you how to act properly." He smiled softly to himself.</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Blood and Steel</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sun shone down warmly, a light breeze fluttering tattered clothing on a wash line and creaking the hinges of a hanging wooden shop sign. A steady <em>drip, drip, drip </em>from a rusty water pump echoed throughout the empty alleyway as a cat jumped down neatly from a stack of crates to investigate. Her pink nose twitched as her neck stretched out, and then she sat down to drink from the muddy puddle, curling her tail primly around her legs.</p><p>And then a massive foot shook the air and cracked the ground. The cat jumped and hissed savagely, lowering her ears as the fur on her arched back bristled.</p><p>More footsteps trembled the earth as the titans were lured by the sound of approaching horses.</p><p>The thundering of hooves neared the abandoned town, green cloaks flapping their Wings of Freedom.</p><p>"Get to the rooftops as soon as you can!" Captain Levi's voice rang out as he gestured widely with his drawn blade.</p><p>As soon as they were within range, an orchestra of pops and zips resounded throughout the air as Scouts from multiple squads flew up to the rooftops. The Captain landed with his boots on the clay shingles, then turned to address the soldiers.</p><p>"Listen up," he called firmly. "As you all know, our supply of ultra-hard steel has been running low due to the shortages inside Wall Sina. We are told that the equipment is being rebuilt and will be functional again in time, but our supply is dangerously low. At the center of this town, there used to be a blacksmith, and it is believed that his workshop is still fully stocked. The mission is to retrieve as much as we can, namely steel ingots as well as any finished blades and equipment."</p><p>Captain Levi stepped forward on the incline, both blades drawn now. His voice was clear and strong. "These supplies are critical to the continuation of our cause! As we speak, Commander Erwin is forming a plan to re-take Wall Maria! And these are the supplies that will get us there!" He flung one blade outward to point at a squad off to his right. "Hange Squad will transport the supplies back and forth from the wagons. Engage only if absolutely necessary." Then Levi turned his head to address everyone again. "Protect them at all costs! Left flanks will be positioned around the center protecting those who are loading the supplies! Right and center flanks create a wider perimeter as a second line of defense. Jaeger!" Levi swung his head over to Eren, whose snapping green eyes lifted to meet his Captain's.</p><p>"Sir!"</p><p>"You will assume titan form and protect the border of the town and the wagons outside it!"</p><p>"Yes, Sir!" Eren nodded firmly, the ferocity of his power already blazing in his eyes.</p><p>Once they were dismissed, Kuro swiftly made his way to the perimeter. He climbed up one of the buildings and found himself a good spot to look out, stood with blades drawn. Kuro carefully observed his surroundings. There was a feeling that something could happen at any time. He was on edge but kept himself focused on the task at hand.</p><p>Eren landed on the rooftop beside Kuro, and his fists tightened at his sides as his top lip curled up revealing teeth and gums. His eyes flashed and snapped like a wildfire as he began to bring his hand to his mouth. "You ready?" he asked with a snarl.</p><p>Kuro glanced over at his comrade. "Ready as I'll ever be." Turning his gaze back to the horizon, he tightened his grip on his blades. "Do what you need to do. I've got your back."</p><p>Eren nodded. "Right!" With his eyes fixated on an approaching titan, the soldier barely more than a boy took a running leap and tore into his own skin with his teeth. A blinding flash of jagged lightning cracked and bolted from the heavens as bone and muscle and skin in a massive form took shape around Eren.</p><p>With a powerful crash, the black-haired, green-eyed titan's feet slammed into the ground, cracking and shattering the cobblestone like thin ice. He opened his corpse-like mouth, emitting an ear-shattering roar that pulsated through the air like a shockwave.</p><p>With footsteps that shook the very earth, Eren's titan charged forward, swinging out a fist with tremendous force, splitting an enemy's face wide open in a gory mess. Eren screamed like a wildcat, his carnivorous cry shaking the atmosphere.</p><p>Kuro leapt into action after Eren. This position often felt more like being his comrade's bodyguard than anything else. It wasn't one to be taken lightly though.</p><p>Eren crashed on ahead, his elbows bent like a runner, each footstep leaving fractures on the stone road below.</p><p>Skilfully weaving his way around Eren, Kuro hacked and slashed at any titan that came too close for comfort. He jumped swiftly from roof to roof, blood steaming from his blades.</p><p>Eren dove head first into another titan, wrapping his arms around it as he brought it crashing down. Pulling back his fist with another terrible roar, he slammed his knuckles with full force into the titan's face, snapping his own arm at the elbow upon impact.</p><p>Kuro heard Eren's elbow break as he landed heavily on a nearby building to quickly switch out his blades. Hastily, he moved to the side of the now fractured arm. He would be more use there until it had healed.</p><p>Steam rose from the titan shifter's spintered arm as Eren used his other titanic hand to snatch a handful of his enemy's hair, lifting its head up in order to clamp down with his teeth on the back of its neck. With a grisly shredding and cracking sound, Eren tore the nape right off, blood spurting outward like a popped bottle of champagne.</p><p>More titans of various sizes were approaching from multiple avenues.</p><p>Kuro looked out as the blood steamed on his uniform. His fingers tightened around his blades, readying himself for the onslaught. He took a running jump from one rooftop, propelling himself forward and firing out the wires.</p><p>Eren got to his feet just as a smaller titan took a flying leap onto him, digging its teeth deep into the back of his shoulder. Tilting his head back with a spitting scream, Eren shoved his shoulder back into a building twice in succession, smashing his opponent against it. The humanoid's jaw released on the second impact, tearing off a chunk of Eren's titan shoulder with it. It collapsed to its knees, then fell face-down, and Eren crushed its nape powerfully with his foot as the other titans' thudding footsteps closed in around him.</p><p>Retreating slightly, Kuro moved closer to Eren once again, finding a better position to help protect him. He continued his pursuit of the smaller titans. The sounds of the fighting echoed all around; from the popping sounds of wires being fired to the all too familiar shouts of soldiers in peril.</p><p>He sent his own line down into the back of one of the titans beginning to surrounded them. Kuro kept a tight grip on his blades as they sliced through the creature's nape, blood spurting out from the gash.</p><p>Eren glared fiercely at a titan before him, clenching his fists at his sides just as his arm finished healing and the steam from it dissipated. With another animalistic cry, he lunged forward, ducking down, and grabbed ahold of the titan's leg, picking it up and swinging it hard into a second titan. Both of them smashed destructively into a building, sending dust and rubble flying.</p><p>Just then, an abnormal titan leapt straight over a building, careening through the air as if it had been flung by a catapolt. It crashed hard into Eren, sending him back down with a thundering quake. Another titan, much smaller, grabbed ahold of his foot and chomped it in a spray of crimson, and Eren used his other foot to kick it off. The abnormal had latched its teeth into the side of Eren's neck, and he gripped its head in a choke hold. With a roar that split the atmosphere, he used his incredibly strong legs and abdominals to flip the titan onto its back. Flesh tore from bone as the abnormal's jaw was ripped away from its neck. Eren took ahold of the titan's chin and the top of its head with both hands, twisting with effort like trying to open a pickle jar. With a sickening <em>snap!</em>, the whole head popped off, and Eren threw it powerfully to knock one of the smaller titans to the ground.</p><p>The Scouts were working as quickly as they could to load up the supplies, but there was still more to be done. Eren's titan was attracting the others, so Levi was ordering more squads to assist him.</p><p>A stream of vapor flashed past the Captain then. "WOOOOHOOOO!!" Hange grinded her blades alongside a titan's nape, fairly giggling as she burst through the veil of blood, drenching herself in the steaming gore. "How do you like me now, Levi?!" she sang out.</p><p>Levi's top lip curled. "Tch!" Then he looked over to Eren who was battling two titans his own size, a third one making its way toward him. "Kuro!" he called. "Take out that one to your left! I've got the two coming down this alley!" With a POP! from his cables, he headed toward the alley as planned.</p><p>Kuro looked around and saw the one the Captain meant. "Yes, sir!" he shouted back as he set off running along the rooftops. Taking a deep breath, he fired a line to the building opposite before taking a running leap. He swung up to a better vantage point before firing a line at the titan's nape. His movement had limited his options so that there was no choice but to go in blind side first. Reeling the line in, he got close enough to slice its neck before quickly firing another wire in order to get away. Sometimes risks paid off.</p><p>He stumbled as he overshot his landing, fell onto his hip and slid down the broken tiles. Kuro felt the shingles tear through his uniform, cutting the skin along his left-hand side. He scrambled onto his front, digging his feet against roof and grabbing where he could with his hands. His left side stung like hell as he stood up and grabbed his blades. Ignoring the cuts and bruising, he set off back towards Eren.</p><p>Nearby, a quaking thud shook the air as the first of Captain Levi's two titans fell to the ground. The second was swiping at him like he was a pesky fly, and Levi fired his cables to narrowly avoid being grabbed. The monster's throat gurgled hungrily, its expression horridly eager.</p><p>Levi landed onto a rooftop, then turned to face his foe.</p><p>The beast growled again.</p><p>"My sentiments exactly," Levi snarled, his hands like fists around his hilts.</p><p>The titan made another attempt at grabbing him, and Levi took his chance. Popping his cables directly into the massive hand, he swung down and up again, his boots landing firmly onto the massive forearm. With both blades held out behind him, he sprinted up the incline towards the titan's shoulder, the grinning creature reaching for him with its other hand. Just as the giant fingers were about to grab him, he fired his cables again, the hooks latching onto the titan's chin. Levi swung down and back up again in a motion like a pendulum, soaring high into the air. His upper body twisted and his teeth gritted as he readied his blades before spinning back downward in a blur. Both blades came down powerfully, digging deep into the titan's flesh. Amid the <em>shhhhhhkkk!</em> of metal, the nape burst away with a gush of blood, and the titan crashed to the earth, Levi landing smoothly on his feet between its shoulder blades.</p><p>Looking around to assess the situation, Levi saw that Eren was battling another titan hand-to-hand as Kuro closed in for the kill. Turning his gaze to a rooftop, the Captain fired his ODM gear, his boots landing swiftly on clay shingles.</p><p>Compared to Eren in his Titan form, Kuro was tiny and could easily end up badly injured or worse if he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, so he had to be careful when taking his aim. Moving around wasn't as easy as it had been at the start of the battle either, and it wasn't just because of his injuries. He had to keep away from the crumbling buildings. They wouldn't be as safe to stand on now. Kuro had to be more careful, or he'd end up taking another tumble.</p><p>He took a running jump off the roof and fired his next line into the titan's shoulder. This time, Kuro was in a better position to aim more carefully. Holding his blades tightly, he sliced away the nape much neater than he had before. He swung away and ended up landing on Eren's shoulder.</p><p>Kuro turned to Eren with a smile. "Good job!" he commended. "You're doing really well."</p><p>The words traveled through Eren's long, pointed ears and through the canals and nerve endings to reach the human boy inside. Green, demonlike eyes shifted only slightly toward Kuro in acknowledgement.</p><p>"I don't see any more heading this way!" Captain Levi called over to them both. "I'm going to go check on--"</p><p>A destructive blast of rubble cut the Captain off as a 15 meter titan came crashing through a building and slammed itself hard into Eren, sending him flying backwards into woodbeams and stone.</p><p>Kuro just managed to fire the lines in time and zipped away from Eren onto the side of the building where Captain Levi was standing. He hung there for a second as he felt his heart racing. That had been way too close for his liking.</p><p>Eren's head was now hanging at an odd angle, and his eyes rolled down toward the abnormal, who had sunk its teeth into the side of his neck. Almost instantly, two more titans lumbered through the gaping hole in the buildings and lurched on top of him, tearing at the flesh on his ribcage and legs. A piece of the building above them teetered back and forth before coming down with full force right on top of them all, and suddenly, Eren was completely still amid the settling dust. His tongue hung sideways out of his open mouth, and his head was flopped unnaturally to the side.</p><p>"His neck is broken!" Levi called to Kuro. "That will take far too long to regenerate safely! Help me cut him out, then get him to the treeline to await further instructions!" He fired his cables and swung down toward Eren with Kuro close behind him.</p><p>Their boots landed in running steps as they approached Eren's nape. The titan's eyes weren't moving at all, which most likely meant that Eren had been knocked unconscious inside.</p><p>Levi exhaled in repulsion. "It's going to be a disgusting mess," he glowered. "But we have no choice. He might have to lose his arms for us to get him out of there... not that it matters in the long run. Tch! Alright, work quickly, soldier!" Levi began using his blades to burrow deep into the area just below the weak spot, minding the very center where Eren's human head and neck were vulnerable.</p><p>Kuro knew they would grow back, but still... it felt wrong to just cut his arms off. Kuro shook his head and tried not to think about it too much as he stuck a sword into the titan form's neck. He started cutting away chunks to get to Eren. It was tough and extremely messy.</p><p>Finally, he was able to see a bit of Eren and worked quickly but carefully, cutting away more of the titan flesh in order to find where his comrade was joined. As they got to the deeper parts, Kuro had no option but to stick his foot inside an area he'd just cut.</p><p>Battle cries rang out around them as they worked in haste. By the time enough of Eren's body was exposed to pull him out, both Kuro and the Captain were soaked in steaming gore. One arm had had to be cut just below the shoulder, the other at the elbow.</p><p>Levi shoved his blades back into the metal boxes at his sides before bending and wrapping his arms around the unconscious boy's middle. He pulled hard, gritting his teeth, and Eren's head came into view. It was still attached below his eyes by long and bloody titanic fibers. Levi planted his feet firmly with a wet, sticky sound and pulled harder. The folds of titan muscle began to peel off, taking ribbons of human flesh with them. With a grisly tearing sound, Eren was freed, the Captain's upper half jerking back a bit with the release.</p><p>"Get him out of here!" Levi growled, completely disgusted as he shoved Eren's limp and dismembered form into Kuro's arms. "And <em>don't</em> leave him! We can't risk anything happening to him. Now go!"</p><p>"Yes, Captain!" Kuro made sure to get a tight hold on Eren, which was a little difficult with how the slippery the blood had made everything. Once he was sure that Eren was secure, he flew off towards the horses. He took off in the direction of the trees on his horse. After tying his horse up, Kuro took hold of Eren once again and scaled one of the tallest trees using his ODM gear. He climbed until he was far enough up that the largest titans would struggle to reach them. He set Eren against the trunk and sat close to him so he wouldn't fall off.</p><p>Eren's head flopped forward as steam rose from his severed limbs and from the deep, vertical lacerations beneath his eyes. The sounds of battle could be heard from the nearby town, the massive forms of the titans visible among the buildings.</p><p>This was going to be a waiting game now. Kuro couldn't move until Eren was awake, and even then, they would have to stay here while Eren healed. At least this gave him some time to rest. He'd had a few too many narrow escapes today.</p><p>Tucking away his hilts, Kuro gave himself a quick once over, checking his injuries. He was lucky that they were just superficial. It could quite easily have been a lot worse, but he would have to be more careful in the future. Kuro still had a lot to learn but, on the bright side, he'd survived another battle. No Scout could ask for a better outcome than that.</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. To Make a Difference</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A cloudy haze had settled over the late afternoon sun. The battle in the abandoned town raged on, but Kuro and Eren still waited on the sidelines. As they sat there in the tree, Kuro kept a lookout for any signs of trouble. Luckily, due to the large number of soldiers drawing the attention away from them, the two went mostly unnoticed, and the few titans who had spotted them couldn’t reach.</p><p>Although he was there to guard Eren, Kuro felt his mind beginning to wander. Considering how important his comrade was, Kuro wondered if someone else would have been better.</p><p>He wasn’t the best soldier by a long shot… or even among the best of the new recruits. Kuro’s track record for avoiding injury wasn’t great either. First Trost and now here. At this rate, it wouldn’t be long before he really messed up and made a fatal error. More and more, he felt like he was becoming a liability. Kuro really wanted to help make a difference, just to do <em>something</em> that might change things for the better, but he had no clue how. There wasn’t anything special about him, and in the end, his name would just be one more addition to the long list of dead Scouts...</p><p>A soft moan came from Eren's hung head.  Then he twitched a bit, his top lip curling and exposing his teeth in a snarl.  "Nnh-!"  His one foot slid towards him a little, bending his knee up.  Consciousness was returning to him, but his head was still in the battle.</p><p>Kuro quickly snapped back into reality. “Eren?” he said softly, leaning closer. “Eren, can you hear me?”</p><p>Kuro's voice sounded hollow and far away, but then it was right there in front of him.  Eren's brows knitted together above his closed eyes as awareness came to him gradually.  "Wha- what happened...?  Nhh--!  I... I can't remember.  Something landed on me..."  His head came up then, and his eyes popped open.  "Dammit!  Am I outta the fight??"  He looked around frantically before his eyes fell on his slowly regenerating arms.</p><p>“Easy, Eren. Calm down.” Kuro rested a hand on the other's shoulder. “Yes, you’re out of the fight. You got attacked by three titans and then had part of a building land on top of you. It broke your titan’s neck, so the Captain and I had to get you out. Unfortunately, in order to do so, there was no option but to cut your arms... sorry.”</p><p>Eren grit his teeth and scowled, hearing only about half of what Kuro was saying. "Shit!!"  He knocked his head back against the tree trunk in frustration.  "So now <em>two</em> soldiers are out of the fight because I couldn't keep it together... Great. Perfect."  He hated always having to be babysat like this.</p><p>“Captain’s orders," Kuro stated simply, moving back again to give Eren some space. “It wasn’t your fault. That 15-metre came out of nowhere, as did the other two. Even Captain Levi couldn’t stop them.” He sighed and swung one leg over the branch so he was straddling it. “Anyway, it’s not like I would have made a difference if I was still fighting. And it’s a chance to rest, so…”</p><p>Eren sighed in defeat, though he was still scowling.  "Don't say that," he snapped.  "Of course another soldier can make the difference.  And now 'cause of me, you're not there either."  He pulled his knees up and rested the incomplete end of his longer arm atop them.  Inwardly, he felt sick.  Would anyone die due to his absence from the battle?  Could the wagons full of supplies get crushed?  Would the mission fail?</p><p>“You fought well today though, and you’re definitely improving.” Kuro looked out again, letting his legs swing as he sat there. “And,” he sighed, "don’t worry about me being out of action. Right now, keeping you safe is the top priority.”</p><p>Eren averted his eyes as a warm breeze tugged at the ends of his brown hair.  Then he dropped his head back again and closed his eyes.  Being in his titan form always drained him of energy.  In fact, the tree trunk was really the only thing holding him upright at the moment.</p><p>Kuro noticed how Eren was sitting and shuffled closer to him, just to be on the safe side. The last thing he wanted right now was for Eren to fall off <em>after</em> he had woken up.</p><p>A few moments went by without conversation, and the leaves rustled above them with another passing breeze.  After a short while, Eren spoke softly, his words seeming completely out of the blue.</p><p>"...I remember you and your brother."</p><p>“You… remember us?” Kuro was surprised.  He thought back to when he’d first met up with Eren and the others from Shiganshina on the first day of cadet training. Only Armin had seemed to recognise him back then. Still, at the mention of his brother, he couldn’t help but to smile softly... albeit sadly. Even now, Ryu was still the child who could make anyone smile, even though it hurt. Kuro wasn’t sure if the ache of losing his family would ever ease. It had been years, but there were still many times when it felt just as raw as when he had first lost them.</p><p>"Mhm."  Eren opened his emerald green eyes and lifted his head off the tree trunk to look at Kuro.  "I didn't back when we first met.  But since then, you've become more familiar.  You two delivered a dress for my mother once.  It was a gift from my father... for her birthday."  Eren's eyes had drifted, and they now gazed somewhere far away.</p><p>Thinking back, Kuro seemed to recall making such a delivery… or at least his mother mentioning something along those lines. “I… think I remember that…” he said slowly. Kuro clicked his fingers. “Emerald green with dark green stitching and minor detailing.” It really was bizarre what he remembered at times.</p><p>Eren looked up again, surprised.  "Y... yeah," he said, a bit impressed at Kuro's recall.</p><p>Kuro chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “I- er… remember my mother making it. I watched her do the embroidery on it. It was like… small leaves and flowers… along the hem… collar and cuffs, I think…” He’d always loved watching his mother work. How, stitch by stitch, she could create the most beautiful of patterns. It had been like magic to Kuro’s young eyes.</p><p>"Yeah..." Eren said quietly, his voice full of memory.  Then he shrugged.  "Anyway, I remember the two of you coming to our house.  Mom sent you back with... something.  Bread, cookies... I can't remember."  His shoulders rose and dropped again.</p><p>“It was cookies, and Ryu ended up with crumbs in his hair somehow,” Kuro added with a laugh, thinking back. </p><p>Eren was quiet again.  He watched as his hand slowly began to take shape on his right arm.  The left one was almost down to his wrist.</p><p>“Does that…” Kuro began as he stared at Eren’s arms. “Does that hurt at all? I mean, having them grow back.” It was still odd watching someone’s limbs regenerate from nothing.</p><p>"It's... hard to explain," Eren answered, not looking up.  "It feels like... like my hand is already there, but it's invisible... and it's slowly becoming visible again.  It's a tingling feeling.  Once it heals the open wound part of it, there's no pain."</p><p>“That’s a relief, at least. I always assumed that it would hurt having everything grow back.” Kuro's eyes wandered, and he saw a bird flitting happily between the branches below them, chirping away as it did so.</p><p>Eren flexed his fingers as they finished forming, the steam from them dissolving into the air like smoke from a snuffed-out candle.  "I do feel like a freak sometimes," he admitted with a sigh.  "I suppose I shouldn't complain... getting to work with the Elite and all.  And being personally mentored by Captain Levi is... well, it's tough.  But I've learned so much."</p><p>Kicking his legs back and forth, Kuro turned back to Eren. “You’re not a freak, Eren. So you can turn into a titan. It’s more useful than anything else. If it wasn’t for you, Trost would have ended badly.”</p><p>Eren made no response.  In truth, he was more weapon than soldier anymore.  But Kuro was right. He'd pledged to dedicate his heart, and if that meant losing his humanity to some terrible power... so be it.</p><p>“Anyway, I suppose that's what I meant earlier about not making a difference,” Kuro went on, looking out over toward the ruined town where the mission was still ongoing. “We all have different roles to play. Some have special abilities like you, some are amazing fighters like Captain Levi and Mikasa… some are smart like Armin, Commander Erwin and Section Commander Hange, but… some of us are just here to make up the numbers. It takes a lot more of us to make an impact than just one of you.”</p><p>Eren's eyes fell on Kuro's again.  "You made a difference when you helped me save Section Commander Hange," he pointed out.  "There was no way I could have held up that tree any longer."</p><p>“Guess that’s true, but I can’t exactly keep waiting around for trees to fall on people.” Kuro shrugged at that but chuckled a little.</p><p>"That's <em>not</em> what I meant," Eren retorted with an edge to his tone.  "I meant that you acted fast and did what you could in the moment.  Isn't that how to make a difference?  How <em>any</em> of us make a difference?"</p><p>“You’re right, you’re right,” sighed Kuro. “It’s what we can do in any given moment that can matter in the end...”</p><p>Over by the town, Captain Levi was giving the orders to fall back.  Soon, dust began to rise in a dull, brown cloud as the Scouts headed towards the treeline on horseback.</p><p>Eren sighed.  "Mind giving me a hand?" he mumbled, extending an arm.  He was likely to pass out again, or worse, if he tried rappelling down the tree on his own.</p><p>“Sure.” Kuro carefully stood up before taking hold of Eren’s arm and helping him up too. “If I crouch, do you think you’ll be able to get on my back?” he asked as he pulled his hilts out.</p><p>"Yeah, sure..."  Eren's limp form practically flopped onto Kuro's bent back.  He took hold of his own wrist to hold on tightly, and together, they descended to the ground.</p><p>The Scouts had almost reached them now, and Eren let go to lean against the tree.</p><p>"Thanks..." he breathed, closing his eyes and putting a hand to his stomach.  He always felt a little dizzy and nauseous after using his ability... and more especially after an intense battle.</p><p>“No problem. Just take it easy.” Kuro moved over to untie his horse.</p><p>Eren watched Kuro for a moment.  "You know..." he spoke up slowly.  "You're not useless, Kuro, even if you may feel like it sometimes.  We all have our own skills and ways we can contribute.  And hey... even if that is just being another body in the fight, it's something.  But I'm sure there's more to you than that.  I mean... none of the rest of us would have known how to stitch up Section Commander Hange."</p><p>"Eren!"  Mikasa was off her horse before it had even stopped moving, and Armin wasn't far behind.</p><p>"I'm okay, you guys," Eren protested.  Nevertheless, he accepted their help all the same, draping his arms around their shoulders as they assisted him to the wagon.</p><p>But Kuro's mind was still on what Eren had said... about stitching up Commander Hange.  The very beginnings of an idea stirred inside him, burrowing like a seed, small and new.  Maybe he <em>did,</em> in fact, have some knowledge and skills that the others did not... They were rough and rudimentary, sure, but he could learn.  That he knew he was good at.</p><p>As Kuro mounted his steed, Levi gave the order to move out.  Kuro clicked his tongue and tugged on the reigns to get into formation, but his mind was remembering that day.  The idea of suturing a wound had been terrifying at first, but... he'd done it, hadn't he?  And the Section Commander barely had a scar, even.  </p><p>The Scouts made their way back towards the safety of Wall Rose, the wind whipping their hair and their cloaks as galloping hooves tore up grass and dirt.  But the seed was firmly planted in Kuro's mind now as he rode onward, sprouting into fresh purpose and a newfound hope for his future.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Something New</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the weeks that followed, Kuro managed to obtain a medical textbook from Hange.  He spent his free time poring over the pages and taking notes, trying to focus on the knowledge that would best benefit him in the field.  He knew he wasn't the strongest or the fastest or even the smartest amongst his comrades, but he was a fast book learner and was good with his hands.</p><p>Still, it wasn’t an easy read, and some of the language was quite technical. Amongst all the notes he had taken were lists of words and sections he didn’t understand. He knew he wasn't going to be able to learn everything he needed to know on his own, but he tried to figure things out independently as much as he could.</p><p>One evening, Kuro headed to Section Commander Hange’s office to return the book. He felt like he’d gottten as much out of it as he could, even if he didn’t understand the whole thing cover to cover.</p><p>Moblit's voice responded to Kuro's knock.  "Ah-- come in!"  He looked up from the papers he was shuffling through as the door opened.</p><p>Kuro walked in and saluted. “Good evening, Vice Captain. I’ve come to return the book I borrowed from Section Commander Hange.”</p><p>"Oh!"  Moblit stood up too quickly and knocked over a stack of books, having to grab them all in a clumsy armful.  "She was looking for you, actually!  Earlier today, um--" One of the books he was attempting to hold slid to the floor with a dull thud.</p><p>“Let me help you with that,” offered Kuro as he bent down to pick up the book, placing it back on the desk.</p><p>"Thanks," Moblit gave a sheepish smile as he set the stack back where it belonged.  "She'd have my head if I scattered her notes."  He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck.  Sticking haphazardly out of the pages of each book were several scraps of paper scribbled and doodled with nearly illegible research.</p><p>“You’re welcome, sir.” Kuro gave him a small smile in return. “I guess I should be careful not to get this mixed up with the rest of her research then,” he added, gesturing to the book he’d brought back.</p><p>"Ah, no.  That goes..."  Moblit tilted his head to check the title of the volume Kuro held.  "... over here.  I'll take it."</p><p>Kuro handed over the book, and Moblit moved to a nearby shelf to replace it.</p><p>“What were you saying about Section Commander Hange looking for me, sir?” Kuro stood smartly once again with his hands behind his back.</p><p>"Right, ah-"  Moblit stood from his crouched position and ran a hand through his hair.  "She mentioned your name earlier and said something about needing to remember to find you.  But that's... all she said."  He lifted his shoulders with a crooked smile.  "She, ah... doesn't always finish her sentences."</p><p>“I’ve noticed that, sir,” added Kuro with a chuckle. His fingers twitched a little, not really sure what to do with his hands other than keep them where they were.</p><p>He wondered why she could be looking for him, apart from needing the book back that is. Nothing else came to mind, but this was Section Commander Hange they were talking about. It really could be anything, and that wasn’t always the most comforting thought…</p><p>"She can be a lot to handle," Moblit mused fondly as he returned to the desk.  "Funny how Captain Levi picked her when they're so very different.  I suppose they balance each other, though."</p><p>Kuro looked confused. He hadn’t heard anything about Captain Levi choosing soldiers for anything. “Picked her, sir?”</p><p>Moblit looked up.  "Yeah."  His own brow creased at Kuro's confusion.  "Yeah, you know, as his w--"  He stopped himself and paled.  Had they not told anyone??  Moblit cringed.  "Uhh-!  Forget I said anything!" he dismissed quickly, fluttering a hand in the air and flitting his eyes over his paperwork.  "You'd better go see what she wants."</p><p>“Yes, sir,” replied Kuro. It was quite obvious that Vice-Captain Moblit had nearly let something slip. Whatever it was, it sounded like something personal. “Where would I find her, sir?”</p><p>"Ah, let's see..."  Moblit was clearly flustered now, and he scratched the side of his head with the mostly-used eraser end of a pencil.  "She's moved recently, so... now she's down this hall and up the stairs... ah, first door on the left."</p><p>“Right. Thank you, sir.” Kuro saluted before turning to leave. He couldn’t help but to wonder if what Vice-Captain Moblit had almost said before was somehow linked to the move…</p><p>He reached the door he'd been directed to and knocked.  From within, the sound of bootsteps approached, and the handle turned.  Then the door opened, and Captain Levi stood there in his civilian clothes. </p><p>"What is it, Kuro?" he asked plainly.</p><p>“Sec-” he began as he saluted but stopped himself when he saw who as at the door. “Captain.” He was sure he’d followed the directions correctly. They weren’t that difficult, after all. “I’m looking for Section Commander Hange. Vice-Captain Moblit said she wanted to see me about something.”</p><p>Keeping one hand on the door, Levi turned his head back a little.  "Hange," he called, his voice raised only slightly.  He looked up at Kuro and stepped back, opening the door a bit more.  "Wipe your feet," he said, gesturing to a mat on the floor."  Then he turned and took a few steps into the small apartment.</p><p>"Hange!" he called again.</p><p>"Be right there!"  Hange called from a back room.</p><p>Kuro wiped his feet and quickly decided to go over them again. After one encounter with the Captain and muddy boots, there was no way that he ever wanted to repeat that.</p><p>A thought crossed Kuro’s mind, but he quickly dismissed it as highly unlikely. But Vice-Captain Moblit’s words returned to him again… <em>Funny how Captain Levi picked her when they’re so very different… </em>Kuro really hadn’t expected the Captain to be here, and he hoped wasn’t interrupting anything.</p><p>The quarters were simple, but nice, with wood floors and white walls.  There was a living area to the left with a couch and an armchair and an area rug.  Straight ahead was a tiny kitchen, its shelves neat and organized.  One shelf in particular contained a row of glass jars, carefully hand-labeled with tags.  Their contents appeared to be various kinds of crushed, dried leaves... tea leaves, Kuro guessed.  The place as a whole was absolutely spotless.</p><p>Levi moved over to a small wooden table in the kitchen area.  It appeared as though he had already been working there, as a small tin of a thick, dark substance sat on the tabletop along with a stained cloth.  He sat down and took the rag, then reached down to pick up one of his tall, brown boots.  Carefully and intricately, he continued rubbing them with the shoe polish.  A small white teacup also sat on the table beside him.</p><p>Having seen the state of Section Commander Hange’s office, it really made no sense for her quarters to be so clean. Although… with Captain Levi here…</p><p>Kuro had heard how the Captain had cried out her name when she’d got injured and how he’d held her hand as she was being stitched up.</p><p>
  <em>Captain Levi picked her…</em>
</p><p>It couldn’t be in a more… personal way… could it?</p><p>"Kuro!" Hange's voice greeted him brightly as she came out of the bedroom, shutting the door behind her.  "Good, you're here!  I've been meaning to talk to you!"  She was in civilian clothes as well- a creamy button-up shirt with reddish brown pants.  Gesturing to the couch and moving toward it herself, she asked eagerly, "So, what brings you here?"  She flopped down onto the cushions and bent her legs up, draping one elbow over the back of the couch.</p><p>“Good evening, Section Commander.” He saluted once again before moving over to sit down. “Actually, I went to return the book you lent me and Vice-Captain Moblit said you’d been looking for me. He sent me over here.”</p><p>"Oohh, I see!"  Hange rested the side of her head atop her curled fingers.  She was wearing thin-rimmed spectacles rather than the goggles she always wore with her uniform.  "Mind sharing what use you've made of the book?  A fellow scientific mind is hard to come by!"</p><p>“Well, I’ve read through it several times, and I’ve been making notes along the way.” Kuro scratched the back of his head as he spoke. “I even looked through the section on stitches and tried a few out on a scrap of cloth I’ve had lying about.”</p><p>Hange was thoroughly intrigued and began asking Kuro question after question about what he'd learned.  The eagerness with which she listened to his responses bordered on the intimidating.</p><p>Partway through, Levi stood up, his chair scraping against the floorboards.  He walked over to the shelf and reached for one of the glass jars.</p><p>Hange looked over.  "Are you making more tea?"</p><p>"I am," Levi answered, pulling the cover off the top of the jar.  "Would you like a cup?"</p><p>"Please and thank you!" Hange chirped.  Then she turned to Kuro.  "Do you want some tea?"  Without waiting for a response, she addressed Levi again.  "More tea, please, Captain!"  Her tone was playful, and the title she used for him came across as more of a term of endearment than an acknowledgment of his rank.</p><p>"...alright then."  Levi opened a cupboard and took down two more teacups.  He had to stand on his toes to do so.</p><p>“Thank you, Captain.” Kuro said politely with a small smile. These were peculiar circumstances that he’d found himself in.  </p><p>A few minutes later, Levi set a tea service tray down on the coffee table.  It wasn't anything fancy, but the dishes were polished and well-cared for. </p><p>As the Captain set down the tray, something caught Kuro's eye... Levi wore a simple gold band on his left ring finger. ..</p><p>"Thank you, Levi!" Hange smiled.  She leaned forward and reached for the teapot, and... Kuro saw that she wore a gold band too.</p><p>“Thank you, Captain,” Kuro said politely, trying not to stare at the rings and tried to focus on what Hange was saying. So, they were married. Suddenly, everything made a lot more sense.</p><p>Hange continued talking excitedly as Levi poured the tea, her words bubbling over and tripping over one another in her enthusiasm.  But she did a good job at having it all make sense somehow.  She thunked one of the teacups down in front of Kuro without even stopping her monologue.</p><p>Levi stood up to return to the table, his hand subtly but affectionately moving against Hange’s hair as he walked by her.</p><p>Kuro was genuinely interested in what she had to say. He only wished he’d brought his notebook with him to take notes.</p><p>"...which brings me to the reason I was looking for you today," Hange said finally, lifting her teacup to her lips.  "The Scouts could really use a trained Medic."</p><p>Levi looked up from his polishing at her comment.  He couldn't agree more.</p><p>“A Medic?” Kuro repeated, blinking as he did so. She’d wanted to see him on a more serious matter than he had first thought. In truth, he knew it could have been anything but he really hadn’t expected this. “I don’t think I'm even close to ready for something like that, Section Commander. I’ve only read one book.”</p><p>Hange's eyebrows went up as she took another sip of her tea.  "Well... you seem to have a knack for it."  The teacup clicked against the saucer, and she tipped her head.  "What would you say to undergoing some training?  With an actual doctor, of course."</p><p>“I’m… not sure…” Kuro rubbed the back of his neck. In truth, he didn’t feel like he could take on such a responsibility. He’d never had any sort of formal education… all he knew how to do was sew.</p><p>Levi was looking at Kuro.  "Then may I ask what your intentions were with the book you borrowed?" he asked.</p><p>Kuro turned to look at Captain Levi. “It was to look at proper stitches, sir… before- before I got slightly carried away with reading it…”</p><p>"Because it interested you!" Hange put in.  "You enjoyed learning about it all, didn't you?"  Without waiting for an answer, the Captain's wife continued.  "Genuine interest is hard to come by, and I believe it's part of what would make you an excellent Medic, Kuro."</p><p>Kuro really did find it all very interesting... She had gotten that part right. Not to mention that he did want to do something that would be useful...</p><p>He sighed, still a little apprehensive. “If you think I’d do a good job, then… I could give it a go.”</p><p>"Really??!"  Hange nearly squealed, bringing both fists up by her face.  "That's fantastic!  I'll talk to Erwin first thing tomorrow."</p><p>"I think that's a wise decision," the Captain spoke from his place at the table, not looking up from his task.  "Just know what you're getting into.  This would be in addition to your current responsibilities, not in place of.  You're still a soldier."</p><p>“I understand, Captain, and I’ll work hard to make sure that I can do both.” Kuro realised this was going to take a significant amount of discipline to keep up with both his medical training and his duties as a soldier. Still, if this was his way of making a difference, he’d work hard to make sure he could do the best job he possibly could.</p><p>Levi nodded, this time pausing his hands to look Kuro in the eyes.  "As I've said before... I've seen your dedication.  I have no doubt you can do this if you set your mind to it.  We need a medic... badly."</p><p>"Then it's settled!" Hange decided, leaning forward to set her teacup down.  She clasped her hands together and bounced a little as she sat upright again, grinning at Kuro like an excited child.</p><p>Kuro gave her a wobbily, unsure smile back. Every cautionary fibre of his being was telling him how ill-prepared he was for taking on such a crucial role. However, there was something else inside him... something deep within his beating chest. Excitement? Maybe that wasn't the right word... but it was on the right track.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. After Hours</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hange sighed deeply, if only to catch her breath amidst her babbling monologue.  She sat cross-legged on the bed in her yellow button-up shirt, her pants having been tossed with minimal care over the rim of the laundry basket.  The room was small and simple, the soft light of oil lamps casting a cozy glow over the plain walls and wood floor. The door to the tiny adjoining washroom was open, and Hange's ponytailed head turned towards it.  “Are you even listening, Levi?”</p><p>The sink water turned on briefly, only just enough for a razor to swish under the running stream.  “As much as anyone can to your rambling.”  Levi tilted his chin up and tipped his head as he scraped the straight blade over the shave foam on his neck.  As it was the end of the day, he wore only a pair of black undershorts with a white hand towel slung over one shoulder.</p><p>“Hmmph!” Hange snipped, straightening her back and holding her ankles.  “You’re really an awful listener, husband.”</p><p>“And you’re an incessant magpie… wife.”</p><p>Hange tipped her head.  “Did you know that the magpie is one of the most intelligent birds?  They are one of only a few non-mammalian species who can recognize themselves in a mirror test.”</p><p>The razor swished under the water again.  “How the hell do you know that?”</p><p>“Oh, Levi!” Hange sighed exasperatedly, her shoulders slumping forward.  “You really should read more…”</p><p>Levi very carefully dried the straight razor before folding it and placing it back in its case.  “It seems I don’t need to.  I have you, don’t I?”  He patted the towel against his face and then flipped it over his shoulder again.  He then reached for the brush and cup of shave cream and began meticulously cleaning them in the sink. </p><p>A grin lifted Hange’s cheekbones and shoulders.  Her insides did a funny flip at his words.  It was true… he had her, and she had him. </p><p>The whole thing had been a whirlwind, as they’d gone from comrades to married in a matter of weeks.  The simple signing of paperwork that had taken place in Erwin’s office could hardly even be called a wedding, but Levi had surprised her with a matching set of thin, gold bands to be worn as a symbol of their vows.</p><p>With hardly anything of a courtship or engagement, the whole affair was said and done before most of the Scouts even knew they were a couple.  Kuro had been the first of the 104th to learn the news, and by then, they were already married.</p><p>To many outside the Scouts, such unconventional ways seemed hasty and ill-advised, suspect of a scandal, even.  But those within the Survey Corps understood a little better that tomorrow was not always promised, and a long life was a tremendous blessing that very few of them would ever enjoy.  For that reason, and given that they'd already endured together what most couples never would in a lifetime, Levi and Hange had decided to face whatever time they had left- whatever joys, sorrows, and horrors- together.</p><p>Levi shut the cabinet and turned down the little flame in the mounted wall sconce.  He turned and stood in the doorway, drying his hands and watching Hange, who now stood with her side to him, unbuttoning her shirt.</p><p>"They're quite beautiful, though," he said plainly yet softly.</p><p>Hange looked over, her fingers halfway down the garment.  "Huh?"</p><p>"Magpies."</p><p>Hange felt a warmth rise up in her cheeks, and her expression softened into a smile as she averted her gaze to continue with her buttons.</p><p>His eyes didn't leave her, his slender-eyed stare somehow both bold and gentle.  His hands were dry now, but the towel moved subtly around his smallest finger.  Then he tossed it into the basket and walked over to where she stood.</p><p>"You're sweet when you want to be," Hange chuckled quietly, lifting the hem of her shirt to unfasten the last button.</p><p>"Am I?"  Levi's voice was low and plain, but the backs of his fingers brushed aside her bangs with tender affection.  Then he paused, his expression becoming stiff.  "...you shitty four eyes, how the hell do you see through those?"  He reached up with both hands to remove her glasses.  The lenses were smeared, smudged, and all manner of filthy.</p><p>"Well enough," Hange stubbornly defended.</p><p>"Hold still."  Levi stepped closer and used the corner of her open shirt to rub at the dirty glasses.</p><p>Chuckling, Hange took advantage of his proximity and ran her fingers sweetly through the hair that fell forward on his bent head.</p><p><em>"Well enough...</em> Tch."  Levi repeated her words in a disapproving mutter as he focused on his task.  "How seeing clearly is so low on your priorities is beyond me."  He held the frames up to the light before carefully replacing them on Hange's face.</p><p>Her eyes widened and blinked as she lifted a hand to adjust her glasses more securely.  "Oh..."</p><p>"Incredible, isn't it?" Levi's sarcasm was pointed and dry.</p><p>"Thanks, Levi."  Hange smiled and sighed, draping one arm around his shoulders as she placed the other hand against the side of his neck.  "I'll admit, being able to see you better is quite nice."</p><p>"Don't mention it."  His own hands came to her waist inside her open shirt.  His eyes looked up into hers, and she saw in them what his words could never convey.  This was his love language, right here.  Closeness.  Affection.  Words would always fail to tell her how he felt, but the way he looked at her, touched her, allowed himself to be close to her... that was how he best said <em>I love you.</em></p><p>Chuckling, Hange gently tightened her grip on his neck as her head tilted down to meet his lips.  </p><p>He returned the kiss, letting his hands come around to the small of her back, one sliding higher than the other.  He felt her shape, her skin, her scars, and he loved all of it.  She was familiar to him now, but he never wanted to stop memorizing the features and details of her.  She was his to love for the rest of their lives... however long or short that might be.</p><p>Her back touched the wall as he lifted his chin to deepen the kiss, and she responded in kind.  A soft giggle rounded her mouth against his.  He pulled away just enough to look at her as his hand pressed against the wall beside her head.</p><p>"What?" he asked shortly.</p><p>"Nothing..." Hange whispered with amusement in her voice.  Her big, dark eyes were so adoring as she looked at him.  "It's just... There's a side to you I never knew before.  And I love it."  Her fingertip tapped his nose, which wrinkled and pulled back in return.</p><p>"Don't do that."  Even in his protest, his thumb moved softly against her waist where his other hand rested.</p><p>"You're a fighter, Levi."  Hange's voice was soft but still bright... like a single candle in a dark room.  "But you also know how to love.  I'm not sure I ever knew just how much..."</p><p>"I do love you."  There was a vulnerability in Levi's tone as the hand on the wall moved to touch her face.</p><p>Turning her cheek into his palm, Hange shut her eyes as she chuckled again.  "And I love you, Levi."  Then she moved out of his arms and around him.  She hopped up onto the bed, leaning back on her hands.  A half smile lifted one side of her mouth.  </p><p>One of Levi's eyebrows rose ever so slightly.  Having twisted at the waist to watch her, he now turned to follow.  Bringing one knee up onto the mattress, he crawled over her, and she leaned back against the pillows.  Soft laughter bubbled up in her, subtle and sultry, and her hands came to his chest.  Her index finger traced a thick scar there.</p><p>"You shitty glasses..." he murmured, love enveloping his smoky words.  His hand gently flipped open one side of her shirt and then the other.</p><p>"You know, Levi..."  Hange looked up into his eyes, a mischievous spark in her own.  "Most husbands call their wives 'darling' or 'sweetheart.'"</p><p>"You'd rather I called you those?"</p><p>"No," Hange laughed quietly.  "On the contrary... You're not most husbands.  And I wouldn't have you any other way."</p><p>The faintest smile softened Levi's expression as he gazed down at her.  The lamplight flickered on their features, silhouetting them against the little room's warm glow.</p><p>"Oh Levi..." Hange crooned.  She lifted one hand and let the backs of her fingers grace his jawline.  "You really should smile more..."</p><p>Levi's back arched a fractional degree as he leaned down, his parted mouth just shy of a kiss.  "...you really should shut up," he whispered.</p><p>And then her lips were captured by depth and passion, suppressing the smallest giggle, and her arms lifted to wrap around his neck.  One hand slid up into his hair as the other traveled down his spine.  She was wordless from there, save for the exhale of his name now and then.  </p><p>He alone could shut her up so easily.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Kuro Oscuro, Medic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The dull ringing of the bell from the clock tower roused Kuro like it did every morning. He sat up in bed and ran his hands through his messy hair. The wild, jet-black locks stuck out at all angles, and he always awoke looking like he’d just been struck by lightning. Around him were the sounds of everyone else waking up- everything from yawning to mumbling about needing a few extra minutes. The barracks beds were never truly comfy until someone was trying to get you out of them first thing.</p><p>Kuro yawned as he retrieved his towel and wash bag. A good shower was sure to wake him up properly and somewhat tame his wild hair. Still, despite how ordinary this morning was, he felt a difference. It certainly wasn’t the weather- the clouds had formed a white blanket over the sky, making the landscape look dull and monochrome. There wasn’t anything else special either, but Kuro still felt it. After all, it was his first day of medical training. As everyone else roamed around in their still half-asleep state, there was almost a sense of purpose to each step he took… or as much purpose as anyone could have at this time in the morning.</p><p>He found his way to the shower block and pulled off his off-white shirt and brown trousers he'd slept in. They were the two pieces of clothing that Kuro didn’t mind looking rough. The hem was even starting to come undone on the shirt… fixing that had been on his to-do list for a while now. He just hadn’t gotten around to it yet.</p><p>The Scouts’ showers were crude, and no matter how many times they were cleaned, they still always looked a little dirty. The water in them was no better. It was only just warm enough not to be called cold. It wasn’t too bad on a hot day, but on days like this, a few degrees warmer would have been nice. The Scouts never really had the funds for luxuries though, just the bare essentials. Everyone had heard of how much nicer the Military Police’s accommodations were. It all seemed a little unfair to him that one branch was held up so much higher than the rest.</p><p>Kuro let the water tame his bedhead and run over him. He had a busy day ahead and needed to give off the best first impression. It was a new start for him. After today, he’d have a lot more responsibility on his young shoulders. He still felt anxious about becoming a medic, and he wasn’t sure how he’d do. It was a large jump from someone who knew how to sew to someone who had the medical knowledge to deal with the injuries their battles threw at them. He thought back to how terrified he’d been stitching up Section Commander Hange. He’d never done anything like that before. Fixing up a popped seam and sewing someone’s head back together were two very different things. Fabric was always way more forgiving and leather usually had the holes already punched through. Human skin was altogether new territory.</p><p>Still, Kuro felt drawn to doing this. Despite his nerves and his doubts, this felt like it was the right path for him to take. He felt much better about the idea now than back when Section Commander Hange had first suggested it. Even if he wasn’t the ideal person, or anyone’s first choice under normal circumstances, Kuro knew that he’d give this his all. Once he'd started looking up proper stitches, he'd quickly become immersed what else the book had to offer, and his page of notes had turned into a nearly-filled notebook.</p><p>Though, Kuro shouldn’t have been surprised. Even when he was younger, he could easily sit for hours listening to whatever his mother or father was teaching him. He’d then take time practicing what he’d learnt and working hard until he’d gotten the hang of it. His whole childhood had been spent learning, practicing, and perfecting a craft. Even now, as he watched the water swirling down the drain at his feet, Kuro could remember the sounds of his parents’ voices as they carefully guided him through each step of each new thing.</p><p>As he turned the shower off and grabbed his towel, Kuro’s thoughts turned to the day ahead. While it was good to remember the past, he couldn’t let himself get drowned in it. Today, he had to focus. Look forward. He quickly changed into his red shirt and white uniform trousers before rubbing his hair all over with his towel. It still baffled him who on earth chose white as a uniform colour. Soldiers were bound to get covered in mud and grass stains, to mention the least. There couldn’t have been a less practical colour chosen.</p><p>Kuro walked over to a sink and looked into the mirror as he dropped the towel around his neck. Trost felt like an awfully long time ago now, but he still couldn’t get used to his scarred reflection. After all those years of seeing an unmarked face and two deep blue eyes staring back at him, his expectation to see that likeliness still wasn’t shaken. He’d never forget the shock of seeing his reflection for the first time after taking the bandages off. Since then, it always seemed like a stranger was looking back at him. His left eye didn’t open as fully as his right one anymore, and the muscles around that area didn’t seem to move as well, either. Unfortunately, this now and then left others confused with the state of his mood. The left half of his face often looked slightly ticked off, even if his right looked neutral.</p><p>Sighing, he hastily combed his hair while it was still damp. It was one of the only ways to control it. It was getting a touch long though, even for Kuro. He’d have to cut it again when he next had the chance.</p><p>With his hair still damp, Kuro made it back to the barracks to dump his wash bag and hurriedly pulled on his harness. The holes where his buckles fastened had stretched slightly, as any well-worn belt or watchstrap would. Kuro slipped his jacket on before swinging his cloak over his shoulders as he and the rest of his squad left for the morning run.</p><p>The day remained cloudy and cool, but it wasn't at all unpleasant to be outside in the fresh air.  The morning passed quickly and routinely, and Kuro managed just enough time to freshen up before heading to a small building nearby the military base.</p><p>The hanging sign out front had the familiar medical symbol carved into the wood- two vertical snakes twice intertwined and facing one another.  A second, smaller sign hung under the first and read "Dr. Jacob Lewis."</p><p>Kuro took a deep breath as he looked at the sign. No turning back now. Keep moving forward. He opened the door and headed inside.</p><p>The interior of the clinic had white walls with wood beam wall supports and wooden floors.  A sturdy oak counter greeted incomers, and a tiny brass bell jingled above the door as Kuro entered.</p><p>A tall man with a rather round front and grey, curly hair looked over from where he was unpacking a small supply crate behind the counter.  His chin tilted downwards, and his bushy eyebrows lifted.  "Well, you don't look like an emergency," he observed in a calm, jovial tone. "What can I do for you?"  In one hand, he held a wooden box with a lattice of square compartments, and the other was removing glass apothecary bottles one by one and placing them on a shelf.</p><p>“I’m Private Kuro Oscuro,” he introduced himself politely. “I was sent by the Scouts for medical training.” Kuro stood there smartly with his hands behind his back like he was reporting to an officer.</p><p>"Ah, so you were."  Dr. Lewis observed the boy's stiff body language, and he chuckled as he turned to place the box on the counter.  "Relax, son.  No need to stand with a pole at your back on my account."  The doctor wore a white shirt with the top button undone and a brown waistcoat with matching pants.  His jacket was hung on a wall peg near the door.</p><p>Kuro wasn’t really sure how else to stand, so he opted to let his arms hang down by his sides. It didn't have the desired effect, as he now felt more awkward than he did before.</p><p>"Well, come on over," the older man invited.  "Don't stand there like a bump on a log... you're here to learn, aren't you?</p><p>There were two back rooms, one much smaller than the other.  This was the one Dr. Lewis moved into, and Kuro saw that it was a cramped but well laid-out office space.  There was a desk and a shelf with some books and a small cot in one corner for long nights.  There was also a very tiny stove, and the doctor whistled a tune as he prepared a tea kettle atop it.</p><p>“Yes, doctor.” Kuro walked over to the small office. Dr. Lewis’ relaxed attitude was not what Kuro had been expecting at all.</p><p>"Now then."  Dr. Lewis put his hands together and rubbed them vigorously as he turned to face Kuro.  "They tell me you're to be a field medic.  So why <em>you?"</em>  He crossed his arms and tilted his head with a curious expression.  "Do you have prior training?"</p><p>“Well… err…” Kuro rubbed at the back of his neck. “The only training I have is the basic first aid that everyone learns in the Cadet Corps. The only additions to that are that I’ve read through one medical book, and I’ve already attempted stitches once on Section Commander Hange.”</p><p>"I'd say it was more than an attempt," the doctor stated, sounding impressed.  "I was the one who looked after the injury on her return.  For someone with as little training as you, I'd say you couldn't have done better."  The tea kettle began to whistle, and he turned to lift it from the burner.</p><p>“Thank you, doctor." Kuro tried to sound a little more relaxed than he was feeling. "I have to admit that although I’m lacking when it comes to medical knowledge, I do know my way around a needle and thread."</p><p>Steaming hot water flowed from the spout into one teacup and then another.  "Well you've come to the right place.  Here we are..."  Dr. Lewis picked up both cups before turning and offering one to Kuro.</p><p>He took the cup carefully. “Thank you.” After taking a sip, Kuro looked back to Dr. Lewis. “I am looking forward to what else I can learn.”</p><p>"Then by all means, let's get started."  The kindly old man gestured toward the larger of the two back rooms as he headed in that direction.  He then opened the door to an examination clinic and a small surgery with a table in the very center.</p><p>Dr. Lewis explained to Kuro that, once he was qualified, he’d be issued an armband displaying the twin snakes medical symbol along with a lightweight, canvas first aid pack to be worn during expeditions. It would contain all the basics he would need in an emergency, from bandages and disinfectant to suture threads and needles. Kuro would need to get accustomed to the new equipment and instruments until using them became second nature to him. </p><p>The doctor also assured him that eventually, he would learn clinical medicine, but first thing would be first... Kuro was here primarily to learn about field medicine, which didn't always mean fixing the core problem.  Many times, he would be required to simply stabilize a wounded ally so that they could survive until the doctor could tend to them.  The hardest part of this, Dr. Lewis explained very seriously, would be triage... deciding who to treat first based on degree of injury and knowing when to leave someone at the mercy of their wounds.  His goal would be to save as many lives as possible, and sometimes that would mean deciding not to spend precious time on a patient with a smaller chance of survival.</p><p>Kuro made sure the listen carefully and understood just how serious this was. It hadn’t crossed his mind at first that there would inevitably be some people he would have to turn his back on. He knew he couldn’t save everyone, but hearing it put like that really drove it home. Everything Kuro felt from the morning was starting to waver as he realised just what he had signed up for. As much good as taking on this role would do, there would be choices he would have to make that would only lead to more sorrow and despair.</p><p>But… someone <em>had</em> to do it. Right now, the Scouts had no one, and they were in desperate need. Kuro had seen it himself as bodies piled up on carts when they returned from their expeditions. Maybe, if there had been a medic, that number might have been smaller. No matter who took on this job, the cold, hard facts wouldn’t change. It was hard to hear, but that was life in the Survey Corps. The life Kuro had already signed up for. He didn’t know if he would make any difference at all, but if there was even a small chance that he could do <em>something</em>, then it would be worth it.</p><p>Dr. Lewis sent him on his way after their first session with plenty of reading material and some marked pages to complete as an assignment.  Whatever free time Kuro had had before would now be taken up by his new responsibility.  He'd report to Dr. Lewis daily for training, and evenings would be spent studying.</p><p>Soon, all of this became a normal part of Kuro’s life. Any time he could spare, he dedicated to studying. In fact, it wasn’t uncommon to see him reading at the dining table during meals. His notebook continued to fill up as well, and he even included sketches and diagrams to aid his comprehension. He was a skilled sketch artist, and he often had to remind himself to continue studying rather than spend time perfecting his drawings. Training was tiring, but Kuro persevered. It wouldn't be long before their next expedition, so Kuro would have to learn fast if he was going to be a qualified medic in time.</p><p>However, even with all his book-learning and hands-on training, he knew nothing could fully prepare him for the raw and uncut reality of his new role as a medic in the Survey Corps.  Some things could only be learned by experience... when he would inevitably find himself in the middle of a raging battle with the screams of the wounded echoing all around and the very lives of his comrades balanced on a knife’s edge.</p><hr/><p>
  
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  <em>Concept art by IceFireWolfDragon, drawn over official SNK art</em>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. The Unexpected</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few weeks passed, and the summer sun broke out in all its radiance and intensity.  Hange's shrieks rang out through the open meadow swaying with grass and cornflowers as Eren's titan came crashing to the earth in a shockwave of dust and debris.  She never seemed to tire of her experiments... if anything, she only got <em>more</em> excited about them.</p><p>"MOBLIT!!"  Hange whipped around, fingers stiffly curled with anticipation. "Did you get that??!"</p><p>"Yes, Section Commander, I got it."  Moblit rubbed his perspiring brow with his sleeved forearm before hastily adding the finishing touches to his sketches.</p><p>"Excellent!!"  Hange thunked both her fists against her hips.  "We've got some things to work with here, I'd say!  Let's go again, shall we??"</p><p>"Uh... Section Commander?"  Moblit hesitantly pointed to where Mikasa and Kuro were pulling Eren out of his titan form.  The boy was completely unconscious.</p><p>Hange sighed, her disappointment only clouding her enthusiasm for a split second.  "Ah, well!  Good work today, everyone!  I guess that wraps it up!"</p><p>Kuro and Mikasa worked carefully to extract their unconscious friend. Despite knowing that Eren wouldn't have any lasting injuries, Kuro noticed Mikasa flinch a little when he pulled too hard or cut too close. It was clear how much she cared about Eren. It had always been like that.</p><p>Once he was fully out, they carefully lowered Eren down to a few other soldiers who took him over to the wagon.</p><p>Hange was twittering orders to her subordinates, always so fascinated by the rapidly decaying corpse.  But then abruptly, she stopped.  Lips still parted mid-sentence, she took a step backwards and brought a hand to her head.</p><p>"Section Commander?"  Moblit looked on with concern.  Then, seeing she was about to pass out, he dropped his notebook into the grass and reached her in time so that she went down on one knee instead of collapsing into a heap.</p><p>There was a bit of commotion at that, and Kuro felt stuck to the spot for a second. <em>Breathe,</em> he thought. <em>Don't panic.</em> He took a deep breath and hurried over, hoping it wasn't anything too serious.</p><p>"Is everything okay?" he asked. "What happened?"</p><p>"I'm fine, I'm fine."  Hange held her hand up, but her head was still hung.</p><p>"She just-- passed out!" Moblit stammered, looking up at Kuro from where he was knelt at Hange's side.  He was visibly distressed.</p><p>"No, no, I just got a bit dizzy is all!"  Her eyes were shut, and she ticked her head to the side as he brows furrowed together.  She suddenly felt completely overcome by nausea.  "I'll be alright..." she added, a bit more quietly.</p><p>"I think it's best if we get you sat down in some shade for a bit and get you something to drink," Kuro suggested calmly. It seemed like heat exhaustion, which was to be expected in this scorching weather.</p><p>"Should I go for the Captain?" Moblit queried.</p><p>"No, there's no need," Hange insisted.  "Some water will do me well, I think."  She stood up slowly, Moblit assisting her, but she shooed him away once she was on her feet.  Sighing, she put a hand against her stomach.  "I <em>do</em> tend to neglect my water intake," she admitted.</p><p>Moblit glanced concernedly at Kuro for support.  "Still... Section Commander, I think Captain Levi should at least be informed..."</p><p>"Oh, he'll just lecture me about my unhealthy habits!" Hange argued.</p><p>"I agree with Vice Captain Moblit," Kuro put in. "Captain Levi should least be informed, just to be on the safe side." It was always better to be safe than sorry. Kuro looked over Hange, going through a mental checklist Dr. Lewis had been teaching him. "We still should get you into the shade, Section Commander, as well as something to drink."</p><p>Hange put both her hands up in surrender.  "Fine," she huffed.  "But I have you two to blame if Levi is pulled away from some important meeting for something as trivial as this!"  She turned on her heel and began to march off toward the shady trees, but she quickly slowed as another queasy wave hit her hard.</p><p>Kuro was quick to catch up to her as Moblit ran off in search of the Captain. "Please take it easy, Section Commander. There's no need to rush. That's only going to make things worse."</p><p>She waved away any assistance he offered her, placing her hand on her stomach again as she walked more slowly.  This was so sudden and so unusual... it had hit her hard and fast and completely out of nowhere.  She didn't say anything more as she moved into the shade and leaned one shoulder against a tree trunk.  The whole world was tilting and swirling, and her insides were no exception.</p><p>Kuro was going through a mental checklist for signs and symptoms of heat exhaustion and heatstroke, but some things didn't seem to be adding up. It felt like putting two and two together and repeatedly getting five. Kuro was either getting himself confused and not remembering things properly, or... this was something else entirely.</p><p>"Section Commander," he began as he handed her his canteen of water. "Do you usually struggle with the heat?"</p><p>Hange shook her head as she unscrewed the cap and then took a small sip.  As much as a long, cool drink sounded refreshing with the midday sun beating down, her stomach was rejecting the idea of putting anything into it.  "No," she reaffirmed.  "I must have eaten something bad.  I feel like I'm going to be sick."</p><p>This had to be something else, and there was an... idea that Kuro had, not that he wanted to say it. He was nowhere near qualified for dealing with anything like <em>that</em>.</p><p>"Although I believe this is nothing serious..." he spoke cautiously, "...since it's unusual for you, it might be worth seeing the doctor about this."</p><p>"The doctor?"  Hange wrinkled her nose.  "Now, this is getting ridiculous, Kuro.  People don't just run to the doctor every time they feel queasy."</p><p>"I agree with that, Section Commander, but..." He stopped to try to think of the best way to say this. "I think... there might be <em>another</em> reason for your symptoms, rather than the heat or something you ate..."</p><p>"Such as??" Hange asked pointedly.  But then she realized what he was getting at... and her face paled even more.  She looked down to where her hand rested against her stomach.  Quickly, she removed it.  "I'm sure that's not--"  Flustered, she shook her head.  "There are plenty of reasons to feel nauseous and dizzy on such a hot day," she reasoned firmly.  "But... if it makes you feel better, then I'll stop in to see Dr. Lewis.  <em>If</em> I have time."  She nodded once, clearing her throat and making herself stand up straighter.  "Anyway, I feel a bit better now."  (If anything, she felt even <em>more</em> ill at the thought.)  "...so you can return to your duties.  Thank you, Kuro."</p><p>"You're welcome, Section Commander," Kuro said as he stepped back. "And, please remember, there's a good chance I'm wrong. It's just as a precaution," he quickly added before saluting and turning to leave. He knew he wasn't qualified to make a diagnosis of any kind, and he felt better knowing she was going to see Dr. Lewis, even if he was wrong.</p><p>Hange watched him walk away, desperately searching her mind for reasons he could be mistaken.  The only thing she could come up with was how careful she and Levi had been, so surely... <em>surely</em> there was another explanation.</p><p>Turning on her heel, she stomped off down the wooded path toward the town, pausing once to lose her lunch behind a tree before stubbornly continuing onward.</p><hr/><p>When Levi found Hange, it was only after an hour of looking.  After Moblit had informed him of what had happened in the field, he'd excused himself from Erwin's office to follow the Vice Captain back to the shady spot where Hange had rested briefly.  She wasn't there now, of course, and so he'd dismissed Moblit and gone in search of Kuro.  Finding him working out with his squad, Levi was then informed that Hange had gone to see the doctor.  </p><p>"The doctor?" Levi had asked, unease coloring his tone.  </p><p>Kuro had quickly explained that it was just a precaution and that nothing seemed serious about the situation.</p><p>And so Levi had then headed to Dr. Lewis' office, naturally to miss his wife by only a few minutes.  There, he was told that she had been sent home to rest (quite against her wishes, as the doctor added with a chuckle), and that Levi shouldn't worry.  He <em>should,</em> however, find her and speak with her, and that was all the information Levi had when he found her sitting at their kitchen table with her head in her hands and a forgotten cup of tea at her elbow.</p><p>"Hange?" Levi shut the door quietly behind him, his eyes flickering with concern as they took in her discouraged figure.</p><p>Hange bent her arms down to fold her hands on the table.  "I'm alright, Levi," she said softly.  "Moblit needn't have bothered you."</p><p>Pulling out a chair, Levi sat down and scooched it a bit closer to her.  "You look pale," he observed, gently putting the backs of his fingers against her forehead and then her cheek. She didn't feel feverish.  "Have you eaten anything today?"</p><p>She nodded.  "It came back up, though," she admitted.  Her gaze was on the tabletop, avoiding him.</p><p>"What did you eat?"</p><p>"It's not that."</p><p>"Hange."  Levi touched his fingers to her chin, turning her head to look at him.  There was something in her eyes he'd never seen there before... Fear?  Helplessness?  He really couldn't find a word for it, but it worried him.  "What is it?  Did Dr. Lewis tell you something?"  Was she sick?  Had something happened?</p><p>"He--"  Hange looked away and reached to pull the teacup closer to herself.  Her fingertips toyed with the handle.  She nodded, swallowing hard.</p><p>"Well..."  Levi exhaled, not liking the suspense.  "What was it?  Damn it, Hange, just tell me."  His words held an edge, but his hand was gentle as he placed it atop hers.</p><p>Hange's eyes moved to their hands before lifting to meet his direct gaze.  "...Levi, I'm pregnant," she whispered.</p><p>Levi's eyes widened, and he felt his heart drop into his stomach. </p><p>The silence that followed was cold and palpable.  They'd never wanted this... How could they?  Their world was cruel and ugly and wrought with horror and suffering.  To bring a child into such a life was unthinkable to two soldiers who had already dedicated their hearts to the glory of humanity, no matter the cost.  But now...</p><p>What felt like several minutes was really only a matter of seconds.</p><p>Levi breathed out slowly, blinking his drifting eyes.  "How...?  We always..."</p><p>"I <em>know."</em>   Hange turned her forehead into her curled fingers, her other hand still held in Levi's atop the table.  "I don't understand how this happened, but it did, and... gods, Levi!  What the hell are we supposed to do now??"  Her hand slid out from under his, and she dropped her head into her palms as her fingers gripped her hair.</p><p>Levi just looked stunned.  His own hand didn't even move.  He just sat, eyes wandering with slightly parted lips.  "...holy shit," he uttered at last, standing abruptly and causing the chair to scrape against the wood floor.  He took few steps away from the table as he raked all of his fingers back through his hair. </p><p>"Damn it..." Hange murmured, shaking her head against her clenched fist.  "--dAMN IT!!"  Forcefully, she struck the teacup, sending it smashing into the wall with a splatter.  </p><p>Levi turned quickly at the commotion, instantly moving to take a knee before her.  </p><p>Her breathing was sharp and unstable, and she was visibly shaking.</p><p>"Hange, stop it!  Stop!"  He took her head in both his hands just as hyperventilating sobs began to hitch in her throat.  </p><p>She looked at him with gritted teeth and brimming eyes, her fingers gripping the edge of her chair.  </p><p>"Hange..."  Levi's voice was aching, his expression vanquished and vulnerable as he slowly brushed some hair away from her face.</p><p>Exhaling into surrendering lament, she dropped her head onto his shoulder and let the fear and pain claim her.  Her shoulders shook as tears swelled her eyes and soaked Levi's jacket.</p><p>And Levi just held her, his own heavy heart mirroring the sound of her sobs.</p>
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<a name="section0020"><h2>20. For Those We Leave Behind</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was so quiet. Soft, flickering lamplight danced with the shadows over the books and equipment and loose sheets of paper scattered around Hange's office. She was sitting at her desk reading, or at least appearing to do so. Her forehead was in both hands, her elbows on either side of the open book, and she hadn't turned a page in twenty minutes.</p><p></p><div>
  <p>Moblit had a desk too, only Kuro sat there now. The Vice Captain was elsewhere for the evening, and Kuro had been given permission to use the space from time to time for his studying.</p>
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  <p>Neither Levi nor Hange had told anyone their news, but anyone could see that the Section Commander was off her game. It had been nearly a week since the incident in the hot sun... A week since Kuro had spoken to Hange of his hunch.</p>
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  <p>It was unusual to see her this quiet and subdued. Even when she was researching, Hange always seemed to be swapping books or writing pages and pages of notes.  Kuro was beginning to find the quieter atmosphere concerning, but he didn't think that pointing it out would help anything.</p>
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  <p>The brash tolling of the clock tower outside the window startled Hange, her one elbow dropping off the edge of the desk as she inhaled sharply. She looked around, as though not having realized the lateness of the hour. "Still here then, Kuro?" She removed her glasses with one hand and pinched the bridge of her nose with the other. "I'd almost forgotten you were sitting there."</p>
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  <p>He looked up from his book, turning to face Hange. "Yes, Section Commander. I was just finishing up some reading before tomorrow's training, but I can leave now if you need me to."</p>
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  <p>"No... no." Hange replaced her glasses with a sigh. "You're fine, Kuro. I'm just... not myself these days, I suppose." She leaned forward on the desk, taking hold of both elbows. It was quiet for a moment longer before she spoke in a voice uncharacteristic to her usual demeanor. "...you were right, you know. But you may have guessed that by now."</p>
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  <p>"I suspected so, but I didn't want to say anything." Kuro gave her a small smile. "Well, congratulations, Section Commander."</p>
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  <p>Hange looked sideways, resting her chin against the front of her shoulder. Congratulations felt very out of order right now... but of course, that was the customary thing to say. She chuckled without much feeling. "Thanks, Kuro." Her voice sounded sad.</p>
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  <p>He knew he was the one who had pointed it out, but due to Hange's reaction, he wished he had been wrong. The news had obviously taken a toll on her.  Kuro stood up slowly and made his way over to her desk. "Is there..." He rubbed at the back of his neck. "Is there anything I can do?"</p>
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  <p>Hange looked up at him as though she hadn't noticed until now that he'd walked over to her. "Oh... no, I don't think so." She gave him a smile as her thumb rubbed against her arm. "I probably seem pretty dramatic right now. But... it doesn't quite seem right. Bringing a child into this world. Levi and I..." She lifted her shoulders and shook her head. "We aren't meant to be parents. We're soldiers. Our lives are dedicated to a cause that threatens to take our lives every time we step outside those walls. I've never been afraid to die... but then, I've never had to leave behind someone who depends on me." She started to go on but then sighed, dropping her head into her hands again, her messy hair falling forward through her fingers.</p>
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  <p>His hand dropped back down to his side. Even though Kuro could never fully comprehend what she was going through, he did understand in a small way. The only reason he was here with the Scouts was because there was no one depending on him and no one waiting for his return. When Kuro looked into his own future, he only saw the jaws of a titan, and he knew that it wouldn't matter if what was left was never found. The world would carry on as if nothing had happened.</p>
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  <p>He realised his thumb was running over his knuckles and quickly clasped his hands behind his back. "Section Commander..." he began cautiously. "I can't pretend that I understand your position, but, if I may... there might be another way to think about this... situation." He had never been the most eloquent, and it showed. Kuro's heart went out to her, but he felt so helpless when it came to his words. Clearing his throat lightly, he continued. "We know we don't really fight for ourselves or for those beside us. There are many here who don't have anyone to fight for, but it's never really been about that... We fight for a future that a lot of us, if not all, will never see." Kuro's hand wrung his wrist behind his back, trying to find the best way to say this. "But, maybe, Section Commander... those we leave behind will."</p>
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  <p>Hange's hands had come to rest with her fingers interlocked just above her top lip. Her eyes were faraway, but she was listening.</p>
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  <p>Kuro sighed as he thought back to a distant memory by a warm fire. "Fighting for the next generation, I guess, is like... planting a tree, really. They grow slowly, so you aren't planting it for yourself. It'll benefit whoever comes after." Kuro stood up a little straighter. "This world is far from perfect... but we can hope that the future will be better. That the future for your child well be better."</p>
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  <p>Hange was very quiet, and the silence that followed made Kuro wonder if he'd had no right to fill it. And when her eyes slid slowly shut, he braced himself for a tongue-lashing about remembering his place. But then, Hange reached out and took his hand, gripping it firmly with feeling.</p>
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  <p>"Thank you, Kuro," she murmured with quiet sincerety. She sounded so tired.</p>
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  <p>Kuro's eyes widened as she took hold of his hand. It was unusual, but it made him feel like he'd done the right thing. "You're welcome, Section Commander," he replied, keeping his voice quieter than usual.</p>
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  <p>Sighing strongly, Hange sat up straighter as she let go. She reached for a notebook and returned to her work, a little more clear in the head at least, though far from her usual self. Still... it seemed to be a tiny step in the right direction.</p>
  <hr/>
  <p>It was late by the time Hange returned to her quarters.  Levi had left a single lamp on for her, and the bedroom door was shut.  Making her way over to it, her steps slowed by the weight of another day, Hange's fingers worked the buckles and straps to remove her harness, stepping out of it completely after removing her boots.  Then quietly, she opened the door to their room.</p>
</div><p>A light for her benefit was on in here too, though it was turned down very low.  Its soft glow hardly filled the little room.  Levi was lying on his back atop the bed, not even having bothered to get under the covers.  From the looks of it, he'd laid down without the intention of going to sleep, but it had claimed him anyway.  One arm was at his side while the other hand rested over his middle, his head turned slightly away. He still wore his uniform pants, but his white shirt was untucked with the first few buttons undone.  His chest moved slowly and rhythmically up and down with his breathing.</p><p>Hange walked silently over and sat down gently onto the mattress beside him, careful not to jostle him.  He was a light sleeper, and for him not to even stir at her movements meant that he must be exhausted.  He was sure to wake up by the time she crawled in beside him... but she wanted a moment just to look at him.  Finding him like this was rare, and Hange felt her heart swell as her eyes took in his sleeping form.  She loved this man... more than life itself.  In some ways, she always had.  Oh, not in the way she did now, but ever since the first time she'd seen him, he'd been something special to her.  She understood him, spoke his language, knew his heart... to some, he was a legend, to others a killer, but to Zoe Hange, he was friend, lover, and soulmate... her other half in every sense.</p><p>Very gently, she reached out her hand, letting her fingers slip under his open shirt to touch the skin just over his heart.</p><p>He inhaled softly, turning his head against the pillow.  Slowly, his eyes opened halfway.  Glimpsing her beside him, they closed again as he exhaled, bringing his hand up to her wrist.  "What time is it?" he asked, his voice wrapped in sleep.</p><p>"It's late," was all she whispered in return, not completely knowing the hour herself.  She could feel his heartbeat beneath where her hand rested against his subtly rising and falling chest.</p><p>His eyes opened again, still sensitive to the light.  "Is everything alright?"</p><p>"Mhm."  She nodded, letting her thumb brush against his skin.  "I just... Something was said to me today that I needed to hear."</p><p>Levi sat up slowly, briefly rubbing one eye with the base of his palm as one knee bent up.  "And what was that?" he asked quietly.  Blinking his steely grey eyes, he looked at her in the dim light.</p><p>Hange sighed, letting her own gaze stray as she tipped her head thoughtfully.  "I know we've never wanted a family, Levi... not as long as this war threatens our very existence.  But... why fight at all if we don't believe in a future?  A future long after we're gone... one cultivated for the next generation."</p><p>Levi sighed, looking down and away.  It was the first they'd really spoken of it since first learning the news. It was like they were finally acknowledging the titan in the room.  </p><p>Hange went on, carefully and gently, as though she herself were still processing the words she was saying.  "It's true that our world is wrought with pain and suffering.  It's true that any one of us could die the second we step outside those Walls.  But we cannot allow the titans to take away from us the hope of a free world.  And... children ARE that hope."  Her hand came affectionately to his bent-up knee as she continued, her voice only subtly rising with conviction.  "If we fail to raise up another generation, then we are admitting defeat.  We have to hang onto the belief that one day, there will be a world without titans.  And we have to fight with the hope that our child will be a part of that world."</p><p>Levi was quiet for what felt like several minutes, pondering Hange's words.  What she was saying made sense... but then so did all of their fears.  But what could they do now, aside from choosing which perspective to focus on?  His chest lifted and dropped heavily in a weighted sigh.  "I guess there's no use pretending this isn't happening," he said lowly, his tone still characteristic of himself and yet just a touch softer.  His eyes met Hange's again.  "I can honestly say I've only ever been truly afraid a handful of times in my life... and this is one of them."</p><p>"Me too," Hange exhaled, smiling just a little.</p><p>For a moment, they just looked at one another, and what was said between them in the flickering lamplight was without words.  And then Levi reached out to wrap his hand around the back of her neck, his fingers weaving into her hair as he pulled her forehead to his.  It wasn't quite hope that they felt... not yet.  It was too small still to be called much of anything, but it was there.  </p><p>And unbeknownst to them both, in that very moment, a tiny heartbeat pulsed for the very first time.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Warm Blood and Cold Truth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>And so a few months came and went.  Very slowly, Hange's attitude began to change toward her pregnancy.  Soon, she was seen wearing plain, brown pants with her boots, her khaki uniform slacks unable to button anymore.  Her yellow shirt was now untucked, and she no longer wore ODM gear.  As she was strong and very much in-shape, the only indication of the life she carried was the perfect little round bump at her middle.  The shock of it all gradually wore off, and for awhile, she simply accepted the whole thing as reality.</p><p>But then, there was something about the tiny, fluttery movements she eventually began to feel that made a smile form on her face and a warmth grow in her heart.  She started to talk to the little flutter when it made its presence known, just little quips and comments, and it was both endearing and amusing to witness.  Even to her, a scientist, it was just so amazing, ordinary as it was.  But this wasn't just a specimen she was caring for and protecting.  This was her own child... hers and Levi's. </p><p>As for the Captain, he wasn't one for the warm fuzzies.  He became increasingly guarding of Hange, but not in a panicked, worried sort of way.  It was with more of a vigilant sternness that he set his foot down on things, like how much time she spent out in the heat or how close she got to her captive titans.  Levi had even drawn a long black line on the stone ground, ordering that she wasn't to cross it... and any soldier who let her cross it would have consequences. And at times, when she was outdoors for long periods of time, he would march over to her and wordlessly shove a water canteen into her hands, giving her a chiding and protective glower.</p><p>He went about his days as usual, and there was really no discernible change in his demeanor.  For his part, he still felt a numb about it all... He had lost his mother, never having known his father, and a guilt of sorts swirled around in his consciousness that he could very well leave an orphaned child behind one day.</p><p>It was Kuro's words to Hange that settled his troubled thoughts for the most part, reminding him that children were a promise of a future... the very future they were all fighting for.  It gave Levi a peace and a resolve to remember this, but even still... now more than ever, he desperately wanted this wretched war to end.</p><p>And as the days continued to pass, Kuro juggled his time between training with the other Scouts and studying under Dr. Lewis. His mindset had changed over the course of his medical apprenticeship, as had his overall demeanour. He seemed to walk taller with more purpose in his steps and more resolve in his countenance, eager to get to his next study session.</p><p>Then, one ordinary day, the little bell above the clinic door jingled, and a small child holding something wrapped in a towel scurried in.  He seemed very distressed.  "I need the doctor!" he blubbered tearfully to Kuro, who was rolling bandages behind the counter.</p><p>Kuro called out for Dr. Lewis as he hurried around the counter and knelt down in front of the boy. “Can you tell me what’s happened?” he asked calmly, putting into practice what he’d been taught.</p><p>"It's hurt," the boy sniffled, looking down to what was clutched against his chest.</p><p>Pulling back gently on a corner of the towel, Kuro saw that the boy held a baby bunny, badly bloodied and convulsing.</p><p>Dr. Lewis came out of the surgery and around the counter.  "Now, now, what have we here?"  He donned his glasses and bent with his hands on his knees to observe their patient.  "Ohh.... tsk tsk..."</p><p>"A cat had it..."  The child looked at Dr. Lewis and then at Kuro with watery, blue eyes.  "Can you save it?"</p><p>A bunny… of all things, this wasn’t what Kuro had been expecting at all. Poor thing… One might say the little creature was lucky it hadn’t been eaten, but the state it was in now couldn’t be called fortunate.  He looked up at Dr. Lewis before speaking to the boy again with softness in his voice. “We’ll see what we can do.”</p><p>Dr. Lewis took the injured bunny with great care, towel and all.  "Now you just wait here, son," he told the boy, "and we'll do what we can for the little fella."  Standing upright again, he turned to head into the surgery with Kuro in tow.</p><p>Upon stepping into the surgery, Kuro hastily rolled up his sleeves and hurried over to the sink. “What equipment do you need me to get, doctor?”  Sure, he’d only studied human biology, but there must be some similarities on a smaller scale. If this was a human, what would they need? What would they do? Kuro tried to run over all the options he knew about, but Dr. Lewis would know about procedures that he didn’t.</p><p>"A syringe, please."  The doctor gently laid the poor critter down on the table.  It was jolting uncontrollably, its throat torn open with bloody tissue and muscle fibers exposed.</p><p>Kuro quickly made his way to where they kept the equipment and pulled out a syringe. “What else?”</p><p>"That will be all," the old man said calmly as he accepted the hypodermic needle.  He then stuck it into the rubbery top of a small glass jar containing a substance Kuro knew would stop the animal's heart.</p><p>His eyes widened as his eyes fell on the jar. “Doctor… are you… you’re not even going to try? I thought you said we would do what we could...”  That little boy was waiting for them outside, and they wouldn’t even try to save it? Even after it had survived being attacked by a cat?</p><p>"We are, Kuro."  Dr. Lewis removed the needle from the bottle.  "In this case, putting this creature out if its pain is doing what we can."</p><p>“But, Doctor, surely there must be <em>something</em> we could try before we give up…” Kuro couldn’t see how bringing the bunny in here only to not treat it was any different from turning the boy away. Why go to such lengths if they were never going to at least try in the first place? I didn’t make any sense to him.</p><p>Dr. Lewis inserted the needle into the baby rabbit's neck, and almost instantly, it was still, its tiny paws stiffly protruding into the air.  "Kuro, if this were a human being on my table, I'd be doing more for the sake of morality, but my prognosis would be the same."  The doctor's grey-blue eyes met Kuro's.  "Part of the job is knowing the limits of medicine... knowing when there is something that can be done... and when there isn't.  You'll need to understand this if you're to be a field medic.  I'm afraid the time will come when you'll need to make the choice to abandon one life for the sake of another."</p><p>Kuro stared at the creature, feeling his chest grow tight as the image seemed to distort... Marco. Levi Squad. All those who died in Trost and on the expeditions. Even his own father had been ruthlessly torn apart and tossed aside, and others still, barely able to scream in their dying moments. This was the never-ending hopelessness and despair that came every time humanity came face-to-face with the titans... when the line between seeing tomorrow and fading into mere memory was finer than their blades' edge.</p><p>Suddenly the room felt very cold. The resolve he'd felt for weeks now was shaken like a building that'd been smashed by a titan's fist. His shoulders seemed to have dropped as if he was already carrying the weight of the many lives relying on him. No matter how much they screamed and cried and begged, Kuro knew there would be those he’d have to leave behind. Not every injury could be healed... Instead of bandages, he’d be wrapping them in their burial shroud.</p><p>Kuro’s eyes shone under the surgery lights, and he took a shaky breath.  "I... I understand, doctor," he whispered through the lump in his throat.</p><hr/><p>The day slid into evening, and the orange and purple sunset gave way to the murky blue of a starless night.  The image of the tiny, mangled rabbit remained in Kuro's mind, shedding a new and disturbing light on his decision to become a medic.  To save lives was what he'd signed up for... not to leave them in bloody convulsions in the grass.  A sick feeling swirled around in the pit of his stomach, and it remained as he made his way to Hange's office for his study hours.</p><p>Tonight, though, he found the room empty, and he almost felt relieved.  Rather than going to the books like he usually did, he sat down at Moblit's desk. Plunking his elbows down onto the polished wood, he buried his face in his hands.</p><p>He wasn't sure how long he sat there like that.  At length, the door opened, and footsteps entered before it shut again.  There was no usual peppy greeting, though, and Kuro looked up to see Captain Levi standing there, watching him.</p><p>Kuro stumbled out of his chair and saluted. “C-Captain.” He stood to attention, back straight and shoulders rigid, though his expression was blank, hiding the heaviness he was feeling.</p><p>Levi nodded curtly in response to the salute, then asked Kuro if he knew where a certain book was located.  "Hange won't be in tonight," he explained.  Truth be told, it had been quite the ordeal convincing her to stay in, but she would push herself to a breaking point if Levi let her.  It was only after he'd agreed to bring some of her research materials back to the apartment that she had complied.</p><p>“I understand, sir,” Kuro nodded as he went to find the book. He wasn’t an expert at how Hange organised things yet, but he knew roughly where it would be.</p><p>It didn’t take long before he spotted it- the huge tome that sat on the top shelf. Of course that was the one she wanted. Kuro reached up and pulled it down. The cover had a thin layer of dust all over it.</p><p>“Here you go, Captain,” he said, handing the book over. “Is there anything else you need, sir?”</p><p>Levi took the thick volume with both hands, then pulled one away to look at it.  He rubbed his fingers together, and dust fell from them.  "Tch... No, that's all, thank you."  He looked up at Kuro with his eyes only.  He hadn't missed the young soldier's body language when he'd entered the room.  "Something on your mind?" he asked plainly.</p><p>So… he had noticed. There wasn’t much use in trying to hide it anymore. Kuro's shoulders dropped, and his eyes drifted to the floor. “Captain… have you- have you ever had to make a decision that you knew would mean some people would survive but at the expense of the lives of others?”  As soon as he said it, Kuro realised that it was a stupid question. This was Captain Levi he was talking to. Of course he’d made such choices… and <em>he</em> would never get so worked up over a rabbit.</p><p>Levi looked back at him, silent for only a few seconds... enough for Kuro to see- or at least think he saw- the flicker of pain in his otherwise expressionless eyes.  "More times than I'm proud of," his quiet voice admitted honestly.</p><p>“Well..." Kuro slowly went on. "...something happened at the surgery today. It… probably seems very trivial and shouldn’t be so heavily on my mind but… it reminded me that I can’t treat everyone. I’ll have to choose who to leave… who to let die.” He swallowed, still feeling foolish about what had brought all this on. “Does it… does it get any easier, Captain?  Deciding who should be left to their fate?”</p><p>Levi didn't answer right away... but when he did, his voice was steady and strong.  "Easier?  No."  The Captain's eyes didn't leave Kuro's.  "It's never easy when a choice dictating life and death lies before you... when there's nothing you can do to save lives.  But what you <em>can</em> do is learn to live with those choices, and you do that by making the choice that will leave you with the least regrets.  It's a shitty position to be in... no doubt about it.  But you do what you can.  No more, no less."</p><p>“I understand, Captain.” Kuro didn’t know what else he'd expected… maybe he'd hoped that, in time, it would become easy to decide. That he would eventually be able to choose between lives without a care.</p><p>But then… what would he be? A monster? Like the titans?</p><p>Levi could see that the boy was still troubled- and understandably so.  He stepped forward, his eyes steadfast, his voice radiating the strength he had built from the ashes of unthinkable pain, and he placed a firm hand on Kuro's shoulder.</p><p>"Kuro.  Listen to me.  The reality you're coming to terms with right now is horrific, and it will only intensify once you're on the blood-soaked battlefield.   But the only thing you can do- the ONLY thing-"  Levi's fingers gripped Kuro's shoulder.  "-is to trust your instincts and take responsibility <em>only</em> for the things you can control.  If you make a mistake, own up to it.  Learn from it.  Don't make it again.  But some things will be out of your hands."  His grasp loosened, and he sighed, letting his arm return to his side.  "It's shitty... like I said.  But it's the price of freedom.  And we all have to pay it in our own way."</p><p>Kuro flinched when Captain Levi placed a hand on his shoulder, and immediately, his eyes locked with the Captain's. He hung on every word, never once looking away. He realised then that Levi understood his pain... better than most. He knew what this world was like and the suffering it caused. Kuro wasn’t alone when it came to this weight on his shoulders... there were others- many others- who carried it too.</p><p>“I trust you, Captain…” Kuro murmured with a single nod. “I’ll do my best.”</p><p>Levi returned the nod.  "It's all we ask."</p><p>And then he was gone.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. The Mortal Veil</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Two weeks passed, and the words of Captain Levi stayed with Kuro... but his fears fused with reality all too soon.  An expedition took a wrong turn when a hoard of titans emerged from the treeline in numbers that seemed to be increasing each time they rode outside the Walls.  It sent them all scattering, the carefully-planned formation broken up as each squad prepared to engage.</p><p>Kuro readied his blades and fired a line up into the trees. The swinging of his swords and manoeuvring through the air had already become second nature; not easy, but he no longer needed to think as hard.  All was going fairly smoothly until a blood-curdling scream filled his ears. He planted his feet against a tree, searching for the source. His eyes fell on a soldier slung over one of the lower branches, red bleeding out into the ridges of the bark. Before his mind could fully process what he saw, he swung down, blades tucked away in favour of his medical pack.</p><p>That soldier was just the first of an ever-growing number of casualties that began to surround Kuro as soldiers began to bring their fallen comrades to the area where he was working. There was no escaping the cries of the wounded and the echoing screams of the dying, and the smell of blood and death settled like a cloud over the makeshift field hospital. Kuro ignored the impulse to throw up as the state of the injuries worsened, even though his stomach was turning and his head was being slammed with wave after wave of dizzying vertigo. Somehow, he found that he was able to keep working, his training taking over despite his head spinning and his heart pounding.</p><p>
  <em>Do what you can... no more, no less.</em>
</p><p>Those words rang in his ears with every person he was forced to turn away from. It was taking everything he had to ignore the desperate pleas that came back when he was forced to murmur, 'I'm sorry... I can't help you.' Whenever possible, he instructed others how to treat the injured, all while his bloodied hands continued their grueling task.</p><p>Armin dropped to his knees beside Kuro, who was working to manage the bleeding on a severed arm.  "What can I do?" he asked determinedly.</p><p>“Hand out bandages to the group in front of us. They’re not badly injured, but make sure they clean the wounds as best they can before wrapping them.” Kuro didn’t look at Armin as he spoke, too focused on the tourniquet he was tightening.</p><p>Armin gave a firm nod, then moved to do as he was asked.</p><p>Nearby, a soldier- a girl, no older than Kuro- gasped violently as her eyes snapped open.  He'd assumed she was dead, given that her abdomen had been eviscerated and her insides were spilling out into the grass.  She choked on the blood staining her teeth and convulsed before her wide, daunted eyes found Kuro's. "P-please... Help... me..."</p><p>Kuro bit his lip and pulled his eyes away from her. Despite how it may look to those he was compelled to turn away, their pleas didn’t fall on deaf ears. His heart ached every time he turned his back on someone. He hadn’t even gotten the time to comfort them in their final moments...</p><p>There was a zipping sound and then an earthy thud.  "Hey, Sylvia."  Sasha's voice was soft, but there was a gentle brightness to it... like she wanted the last voice her comrade heard to be that of a friend.</p><p>"It... hurts..."  Tears left muddy streaks down the blood and dirt on Sylvia's face.  She tried to inhale, her breath jagged and wet.</p><p>"Hey.  Hey, remember that time you kicked my ass in training??" Sasha's own tears slid down her cheeks, but she smiled as she brushed some sticky, bloody hair out of Sylvia's eyes.  "Gosh, we were just kids then, weren't we?" </p><p>The girl shuddered and choked, then swallowed through gritted teeth, her whole body quivering in shock.  "You-- you nev-er were good-- at hand to hand."  An crumpled smile twitched her lips.  "You were-- allllways too busy-- chasing a butterfly or-- or something."</p><p>Sasha laughed softly through her tears, nodding.  "Yep, that's me!"</p><p>And then, with two violent and sickening hitches of breath... Sylvia was gone.</p><p>Sasha shut her eyes and looked away, her shoulders shaking as she broke into quiet sobs.</p><p>Kuro closed his eyes briefly before finishing up the tourniquet and wrapping a bandage around the wound. Trying to reduce the bleeding and prevent infection was the best he could do. He reached for his canteen with bloody hands, pouring water over them to clean off the worst of it.</p><p>Before moving onto the next person, he picked up a white shroud and laid it over Sylvia, her blood immediately staining the fabric. Kuro placed a hand on Sasha’s shoulder.  “I’m so sorry...”  That’s all he had to say before moving onto the next casualty. He’d already said that so many times today, but the wounded kept arriving, and the amount of work he had to do only grew. There was no time to dwell on those he’d forsaken. He had to keep moving forward.  With a deep breath, he knelt down beside the next soldier and set to work.</p><p>Kuro was partway through his treatment when Levi landed beside him.  Holding both his bloody, steaming blades, he asked directly, "When you're through with this one, do you think you can manage a puncture wound?"</p><p>“It depends, Captain,” Kuro answered, his eyes trained on the needle in his hand. “Who is it? Where is the wound, and how bad is it?” He had other soldiers who were waiting that were worse off than a puncture wound, although… they still had the potential to be very serious.</p><p>Levi cleared his throat.  "...it's me," he said evenly. </p><p>When Kuro looked up, he saw that a tree branch- about 8 centimeters in diameter- was protruding from Captain Levi's abdomen, just below his ribcage, leaves and all.  His white shirt was sopped in blood, and his damp face was pale as the moon, but he was somehow still standing... A light breeze was liable to knock him over, though, with how fast he appeared to be losing blood.</p><p>Kuro's eyes widened. “ARMIN! HERE NOW! BANDAGE THIS UP!” Kuro yelled, hastily tying a knot in the stitching. <em>Breathe. Think. Focus.</em> He barely waited for Armin to arrive before turning his attention to the Captain, rinsing his hands off using the last of the water from his canteen as he stood up. Kuro reached for Levi just as his legs gave way. As carefully as he could, he lowered the Captain down to the ground.</p><p>The end of the branch had been severed by his blade... meaning Levi had literally cut himself out of the tree he'd been skewered by, thereafter still managing to use his ODM gear to return to the ground.</p><p>"Damn titan grabbed my cable," he gritted with effort.  "Sent me flying into a tree..."</p><p>“Okay. Don’t say another word unless it’s vital that you do so, Sir. I need you to stay still.” Kuro took a knife out of his boot and began cutting through Levi’s shirt. He needed to see the wound clearly. He had to see how bad it really was.</p><p>Once the shirt had been cut away, leaving it in shreds on the ground, Kuro started to examine to wound carefully. It was bad. Really bad. The lacerated skin surrounding the broom handle-sized branch was horribly inflamed, already discoloring and slicked with blood. And there was no way to assess the extent of internal damage.  Kuro's heartbeat quickened as he looked over it. <em>What can I do? Can I even do anything? Is Captain Levi going bleed out in front of me?  </em>Despite how calm he looked on the outside, his mind was racing as it kept trying to find solutions, only coming to more dead ends. Captain Levi <em>needed</em> a doctor, and he <em>needed</em> surgery. There wasn’t much Kuro could do. Removing the branch here would mean certain death.</p><p>Kuro called out for someone to bring bandages over, and he dismissed the soldier as soon as he got them. He didn’t need anyone gawking at what was happening. The news of Captain Levi’s injury would surely spread quickly enough. He steadied his hand as he used his knife again to carefully trim the leaves on the branch, making it easier to wrap up. Kuro made quick work of wrapping the bandages around the bottom of the branch before tying them around the Captain. Hopefully, this would be enough. He didn’t know what else to do if it wasn’t.</p><p>And while Kuro worked, Levi was reeling between hazy awareness and stints of unconsciousness.  His breathing was erratic, but he hardly made a sound, though his fingers did clench and jolt at his sides a few times.  His brow remained furrowed, his mouth shut.  Kuro's voice and the sounds of battle sounded far away and hollow...</p><p>“Captain!" Kuro urged.  "I need you to keep your eyes open and stay awake. You hear me!? Don't go passing out on me yet!” He worked quickly, doing everything he could to prevent Levi from losing anymore blood. There was no way he could let Humanity's Strongest die on his watch. “I don't care what you need to think about to stay awake, just do it! Think about the Section Commander, think of your child! Just <em>stay awake!”</em></p><p>Even in his hazy state of mind, Levi could sense the seriousness of his situation.  He could taste blood on his tongue and feel its metallic burn in his throat.  His chest pulsed twice as he coughed, his mouth staying shut, and he forced his fluttering eyes open, despite his entire body screaming at him to succumb to blissful oblivion.  His eyelids were heavy as he searched for something to look at... something to keep his eyes open... a blur of blue and white formed in his window of vision.</p><p>It was so beautiful... the sky.  He never got tired of it.  Distantly, he thought he could hear Isabel laughing.  Farlan's smirking grin appeared in his mind's eye.  He could almost feel his mother's arms around him again... her warmth, her scent, and the way she'd comb his hair with her fingers... The veil separating life and death thinned into a translucent shimmer, and he could see them all there... waiting for him...</p><p>Maybe... maybe letting himself rest wouldn't be so bad.  Maybe he had fought hard enough...</p><p><em>No no no no. No!</em>  Kuro fervently took Levi’s face in both his bloody hands. “Captain Levi!! Look at me!” His voice was desperate, pleading even. “I need you to look at me, please! You can’t fall asleep, do you understand??”</p><p>Levi's fading eyes wandered and drooped before settling like a dead weight on Kuro's face.  His vision was drifting in and out of focus, but he managed to meet the young soldier's gaze.</p><p>“Good, that's good, Sir! Stay with me, okay?” Kuro kept the Captain’s gaze, staring intently right back at him. “You’ve got to fight this. You have to! Do you want to leave Section Commander Hange on her own? What about your child? They both need you. So, fight. Please! Just fight!!”</p><p>The words echoed in Levi's ears and rooted in his mind.  Like a wisp of smoke, Kuchel and Farlan and Isabel disappeared.  They were gone. And they had been for a very long time.</p><p>But Hange… she was still here. So vibrant and so full of life... now more than ever as she carried a brand new life, formed in the love and the covenant they shared, and that, Levi's dimming mind decided... THAT was worth fighting for.</p><p>Levi grit his teeth, a hitch catching in his throat as he forced his eyes to stay open. He gave a single nod, barely even a distinguishable bob of his head, but he would fight... For them.</p><p>Kuro's mouth curved upward in a wobbily smile, and he nodded back. “Good work, Captain. Just stay with me now.” He finished off the bandage but made sure to stay close. Kuro kept talking to Levi in between issuing orders and instructions on who to help and how. The amount of people and the extent of the injuries seemed to be growing worse by the minute. They needed to retreat. There was no way they could carry on with so many soldiers here instead of fighting... Kuro couldn’t bear the thought of anymore lives slipping through his fingers, but if they didn’t get the order soon, he felt like he’d have to send someone with a message to the Commander about how severe the situation was here. How much longer did he expect them to hold out for?</p><p>Almost as if on cue, the red signal to retreat billowed up into the air. Soldiers rushed to load the wounded into the wagons as others worked to distract any remaining titans.</p><p>Levi's breathing was strained, and sweat beaded on his forehead and ran down over his paper-white face. But his eyes stayed open, blinking raggedly and fixating up at the sky.</p><p>As the wounded were loaded up, Kuro did his best to send those who could help onto the wagons with them. There was a long ride back, and some could still be treated as they travelled. As they began the journey back, he made sure that he was on the wagon with Levi so he could keep an eye on his condition.  Using a spare cloth, he wiped the sweat off Levi’s brow. The strain he was under was so clear to see. “Just a little bit longer, Captain, then we’ll get you to a doctor and get you treated properly.”</p><p>But even as he spoke the words, Kuro feared he would be told that there was nothing they could do... that Captain Levi had just fought his last battle.</p>
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<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Even the Strong Can Fall</h2></a>
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    <p>Levi had no concept of time as everything was loaded up and the Scouts returned to Wall Rose.  He could feel the screaming hot pain in his side, the sun baring down from above, the rush of air from the moving wagon, and he was shivering almost uncontrollably.  His eyes rolled back and he shut them only to clench his teeth and pop them open again.  In an agonizing and grueling blur, Levi soon found himself being lifted onto a plank.</p><p>Dr. Lewis was barking orders to his assistant, Grace, as two soldiers carried the Captain into the surgery.  Then the doctor looked at Kuro.  "I could really use another set of hands," he said urgently.</p><p>“Then I’m here, Doctor. Whatever is needed of me.” Even if he felt drained, Kuro was still going to push on. He couldn't turn his back on the Captain. Not now.  He hurriedly followed them inside and wasted no time in dumping his filthy, blood-stained gear outside the surgery. Rolling his sleeves up as far as they would go, he moved to the sink to properly scrub his hands, making sure to get all the dirt and grime off them. Once ready, he joined the Dr. Lewis and Grace.</p><p>Dr. Lewis was peeling back the bloody, sticky bandages from Levi's abdomen and nodding.  "I couldn't have done this better myself," he commended Kuro.  "You did the right thing, leaving the branch in.  He'd have bled out in minutes, possibly less, if you'd have tried to remove it in the field."</p><p>"Sir, he's in shock," Grace remarked worriedly as she finished hastily cutting away the remainder of Levi's shirt and harness.</p><p>"I can see that," the doctor replied, eyeing the Captain's perspiring, shivering form.  "All we can do is work quickly and pray to whatever god may be listening that he hasn't lost too much blood... he's already lost a lot.  And..." he sighed as he finished removing all of the gauze and padding, "even with all of our efforts, he's going to lose more once that branch comes out.  If he makes it through that, we'll have sepsis and infection working against us."  Dr. Lewis analyzed the wound carefully before shaking his head.  "I have no way of knowing if any major organs have been punctured or even shredded.  But if that's the case, there's nothing I'd be able to do in time anyway."  He looked at Grace and then at Kuro, standing upright and exhaling as though saying <em>here goes nothing</em>.  "Right then.  Ready with the padding.  The SECOND this is out, you're both to apply as much pressure as you can.  Ready?"  Dr. Lewis put one hand against Levi's chest to brace himself as he curled his fingers around the branch.</p><p>“Ready,” Kuro said as he held the padding close by, his heart pounding so loud in his chest he could hear it. He felt like he was in front of the gates for the first time again, soon to be riding out into unknown territory. If Captain Levi was going to pull through, they were going to have to fight for it.</p><p>Dr. Lewis nodded at the both of them before he planted his feet and began to pull.  It was slow at first, a sloppy, sticky sound coming from the wound as the branch began to dislodge, red with blood. </p><p>Levi's damp brow tightened, his bottom lip shuddering.  His eyes were closed now his head jerking now and then to one side or the other.  And then, almost in the blink of an eye, the branch was out, releasing with a sickening, wet slurp.  Levi's eyes snapped open, and his whole body went rigid, his teeth barring to yell out, but the sound caught in his throat as his eyes fluttered and rolled back.  And then he went completely limp and still as consciousness left him.</p><p>Kuro pressed down as hard as he could the second the branch was removed. The blood soaked through the padding so fast, painting his hands red once again. Kuro glanced toward Grace before looking back at the Captain. <em>Come on. For Hange... for your child... just make it through.</em></p><hr/><p>The atmosphere was bleak as the Scouts unloaded their dead and their wounded.  Bloody bandages and stained uniforms moved about in the forms of battle-broken soldiers, and a grim weight hung heavily in the air.</p><p>Hange wandered among it all, her brown eyes searching for her Captain.  Her gaze fell on his black horse, its leader obscured from view.  Hurriedly, she moved around vacant-eyed Scouts, but her steps halted abruptly when she saw that it was Armin who escorted Levi's horse.  Putting her hand first to her throat, Hange felt the blood drain from her face.  <em>No... not Levi... please, please, not my Levi...</em></p><p>"Section Commander Hange?"  Armin's voice was worn and faint.</p><p>Hange's whole being went cold, and her insides turned to stone.  Numbly, her hand moved to her belly.  "Yes?" she hardly managed.</p><p>"Captain Levi's been injured.  He's been taken into surgery."</p><p><em>So he's alive...</em>  Relief flooded her instantly, but the careful way Armin was speaking told her all was not well.  "How bad?" she whispered.</p><p>Armin's cobalt eyes blinked away before looking back to the Captain's wife.  "He was impaled by a tree branch.  That's all I know for sure."</p><p>"But..??" Hange pressed.  "Armin, <em>how bad??"</em>  Her teeth gritted, and her dark eyes burrowed into the big, blue pair before her.</p><p>Armin gulped then sighed, his shoulders falling.  "It- it's bad," he responded weakly.</p><p>With a small outcry of worry, Hange hurried around Armin, shoving her way in anguish through the dismal crowd.</p><hr/><p>Dr. Lewis worked long into the night.   Every available oil lamp was spared to light up the surgery as the three worked meticulously against the clock to ensure that there were no splinters or dirt or woodchips left inside Levi's body.  Dr. Lewis had to cauterize some internal areas to stop the bleeding, and he removed the appendix entirely.  Thankfully and miraculously, it, of all organs, had sustained the most damage. </p><p>Kuro alternated between using lap pads to absorb blood, pouring disinfectant into the open cavity, and then flushing it with saline. </p><p>Grace monitored Levi's vitals, and three times, his heartrate slowed to the point where they thought for sure they'd lost him. </p><p>But, at long last, Dr. Lewis was closing him up.  The stitches did not produce a neat, straight line, but formed rather a jagged, forking sort of shape.  The area surrounding the sinister-looking black sutures was gorily inflamed and swollen deep red and purple... but Levi was alive.  He'd survived the worst of it, and a faint, unspoken hope hung in the air that he might just pull through.</p><p>Throughout the whole procedure, Kuro had been running on pure adrenaline. Never did he ever think he'd end up fighting titans, helping the wounded, and then assisting in a surgery... all in one day. Still, he pushed all that to the back of his mind and focused on the task at hand.</p><p>As they were finally finishing up, Kuro felt everything begin to catch up with him: hunger, dehydration, exhaustion... He may have spent very little time with swords in his hands, but he felt like he’d been fighting all day.</p><p>Dr. Lewis bent over his careful work as Grace held her fingertips to Levi's wrist.</p><p>"...weak, but stable, sir," she informed gently.</p><p>The doctor nodded.  "As soon as I'm done here, I want him taken to one of the private rooms in the infirmary.  He'll need constant supervision to monitor his vitals and to watch for signs of infection."  He glanced up at Levi's ashen face as he continued stitching.</p><p>The Captain was paler than Kuro had ever seen him, his skin a sickly greyish white, and his closed eyes were sunken and set in shadow as a result of traumatic blood loss.  It was strange seeing someone so strong and respected and feared my many lie here like this, completely at the mercy of human medicine.  It was a solemn reminder that anyone- even Captain Levi- could have their life snuffed out in a second.</p><p>"I'll take the first watch," the doctor was saying.  "Then Grace... and then Kuro, since you have your responsibilities as a soldier to tend to.  For now, we'll replace tomorrow's study hours with monitoring Captain Levi instead."</p><p>“Understood, sir.”  Kuro’s eyes didn’t leave Levi’s face. To the Scouts, he felt more like a god than a mere mortal, but right now, he seemed more human than ever. Kuro just wanted him to live. He would do anything right now to make sure that he recovered properly.</p><p>Dr. Lewis finished stitching with a nod and a sigh as he tied off the black thread.  Some peroxide-soaked padding and gauze was taped over the large, angry wound, and then the long bandages were wrapped round and round Levi's abdomen as Kuro and Grace helped to prop him up.</p><p>As they laid him back down, the doctor instructed Grace to help him move Levi and then return to clean and sterilize the surgery.  He then looked up at Kuro.  "And you?  Get some sleep.  You've more than earned it.  But find and speak with Section Commander Hange before you do.  If my guess is correct... she's on the other side of that door."  He nodded toward the surgery's exit that led out into the clinic.</p><p>Kuro nodded and walked over to the sink to quickly make himself look somewhat more presentable. Not much could be done for his uniform though, as the white had long since been tainted with varying shades of red.  <em>Knowing Section Commander Hange, she’s probably been waiting this whole time.</em> Drying his hands off, Kuro composed himself.  He stepped up to the door and opened it, and sure enough, there she was.</p><p>Hange was curled up on a bench with a blanket over her, and she was leaning against Moblit, who had his arm around her.  Commander Erwin stood beside the bench leaning with his back against the wall, arms crossed.  Everyone perked at attention, looking up worriedly when the door opened.  Hange sat up quickly- a little too quickly- but Moblit steadied her.</p><p>Kuro stood up straight and saluted them all, doing his best to look far more awake than he really felt. Kuro addressed them all, but he focused most of his attention on the Section Commander. “Captain Levi is in a stable condition, but he will need constant supervision for the time-being to monitor his vitals and watch out for signs of infection.”</p><p>Hange clasped both hands up under her chin.  "...he's alive?" she asked in a small voice.</p><p>"That's what he said, Hange," Erwin said, looking down at her with a small smile as he placed a strong and reaffirming hand on her shoulder.  "You can breathe now."  He, too, was visibly relieved.</p><p>Hange's bloodshot eyes brimmed with tears, and all at once, she flung herself forward and hugged Kuro tightly, squeezing her eyes shut against his shoulder.  She didn't say anything... she Just held on, her fingers curled in fists behind his neck.</p><p>Kuro was taken aback by Hange’s reaction. It had been years since anyone had hugged him, and he really wasn’t used to it anymore. Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around her in return.  He tried to think of anything to say, but his mind kept coming up blank. Everything had been so chaotic, and now it seemed oddly calm... Kuro couldn’t work out if this was a good thing or a bad thing.</p><p>Hange pulled away, glancing up at him.  "Thank you," she murmured wearily, swiping her fingertips under one eye and then adjusting her glasses.</p><p>“You're welcome, Section Commander,” Kuro responded with a soft smile</p><p>Hange looked completely exhausted but so genuinely relieved... still though, her eyes were haunted by worry and the fear that Levi could still take a turn for the worse.  She took hold of her elbows, her arms wrapping around the bump at her middle.</p><p>Commander Erwin turned to Kuro.  "You did well today, soldier," he commended, nodding firmly.  "In saving Captain Levi, you've saved countless other lives, I'm sure.  Not to mention, he's my dearest friend.  You have my personal gratitude."</p><p>Kuro looked over to Erwin and stood straighter once again. “Thank you, Commander.  I'm pleased that I was able to help the Captain.”</p><p>"You're dismissed from training tomorrow morning," Erwin went on.  "You're to rest.  That's an order."</p><p>“Yes, Commander. Thank you.” Kuro felt relief wash over him knowing he'd have a small a break after today. There would still be reports to fill out amongst other duties he’d have to complete, but the idea of not having to run around first thing sounded wonderful.</p><p>"Where is he?" Hange asked, her fingertips twisting her thin, gold ring round and round.</p><p>"Section Commander, you need sleep--"  Moblit put his hand on her arm, concern coloring his countenance.</p><p>Hange shrugged her arm away stubbornly, looking up at Kuro fiercely with an expression that demanded an answer.  A fire snapped in her eyes, despite their being swollen and exhausted.</p><p>Kuro took a step back. “H-he’s in one of the private rooms in the infirmary, and Dr. Lewis is taking the first watch.”</p><p>"Hange."  Erwin stepped around to stand in front of her and gently put his big hands against her upper arms and shoulders.  "Levi is resting.  It's what he needs right now.  It's what YOU need right now.  You and your child."</p><p>Hange looked down, putting her hands against her round belly.  She pursed her lips together.  "...just one minute," she insisted.   Her head lifted again, and she stared with a firmly lowered brow up at the Commander.</p><p>Erwin looked into her eyes and then nodded slowly.  "One minute.  And then you're going straight to bed."</p><p>Hange nodded once.</p><p>Erwin then turned to Kuro.  "You'll escort her there?  And then make sure she gets to her quarters.  Consider yourself dismissed after that."</p><p>“Yes, Commander. Understood.” Kuro nodded and gestured to the door. “This way, Section Commander.”</p><p>Of course, she would want to see him, even if the Captain wasn’t awake… just to be reassured that he was alive.</p><p>Kuro guided Hange to the private room where Levi had been taken. He stood out in the hall as he let the Hange in, and Dr. Lewis stepped out. They deserved a moment alone.</p><p>As soon as the door shut behind her, Kuro slumped against the wall, letting his arms hang by his sides and his head flop back. His legs felt like they could give way at any second, but he fought against it. If he sat down now, he doubted he’d have the strength to stand up again. Kuro was exhausted, and now that he’d finally stopped, all the adrenaline seeped away. He was hungry, dehydrated, and covered in blood that wasn’t his own. It was the first time he’d noticed just how much his body was aching. His only relief was that he didn’t have to train in the morning… but he still had his reports to do… and gear to clean…</p><p>Kuro shut his eyes and willed his mind to stop swirling with thoughts and worries and problems for now. He could deal with all that tomorrow.</p><p>Meanwhile, Hange slowly approached Levi's bedside with weighted steps.  She felt absolutely numb as she carefully sat down, a bit cumbersomely due to her figure, never taking her eyes off Levi's face.  Her lips were slightly parted, her eyes glinting with unshed tears.</p><p>They'd given him something so that he'd sleep for a long time.  He looked so lifeless lying there with a blanket pulled up to his waist.  The pristine, white bandage wrapped around his middle, and his chest moved up and down evenly with his shallow breathing.  But despite his deathly pale face and sunken eyes, he appeared to be sleeping peacefully.</p><p>Hange reached out and brushed some limp hair away from his clammy forehead before leaning in and kissing him softly on his lips.  Her fingertips lingered against his face as she shut her eyes and pressed her forehead against his.  She felt like she could burst into tears and sob herself into a puddle on the floor, but at the same time, she was too spent to cry.</p><p>"Levi?" she whispered, letting her thumb brush his cheekbone.  "I want you to rest... but then I want you to wake up.  You hear me?  Don't you leave me..."  There was kick and then a rolling movement in her abdomen, and she shut her eyes as a tear dropped to Levi's skin.  "...don't you leave us."</p>
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